<p>My daughter has tried to voluntarily deactivate her membership @Furman University ADPi sorority due to academic and athletic pressures. She was denied and threatened with collection of sorority dues. Now her parents are getting the bills. I don’t remember the Greek system (in my day) ever behaving this way. Any thoughts?</p>
<p>What? So now you can’t resign or leave an voluntary organization that you no longer wish to participate in? Who are these sorority sisters, the Mafia?</p>
<p>If you daughter signed no “contract” or if there’s no existing written commitment I don’t see how you can be compelled to pay. Did she live in a greek house?</p>
<p>Get in touch with the administration of the college and ask them for their thoughts.</p>
<p>She hasn’t been able to participate in any @ADPi activities for over a year and she doesn’t live in the house. I am baffled of this sorority’s arrogance. Only thing I can think of is that @ADPi is on academic probation and they need my daughter on their ‘roster’ bc she’s got close to a 4.0 average! </p>
<p>If you have a lawyer in the family or in your friendship circle ask them to write a politely threatening “cease and desist” letter on their letterhead. </p>
<p>Thanks JoBenny & Happy! Contacted @Furman Administration 3 weeks ago via written letter and via email again last week. No response. The cease & desist letter is a good idea.</p>
<p>I poked around on Furman’s Greek Life website and found nothing about this specific issue. I did notice that the homepage refers to sorority/fraternity membership as “a lifetime commitment” - seems as if they aren’t kidding! But little in life is irrevocable, so I’m sure your d can get out of her affiliation. I found this via googling, which doesn’t address dues payment, but does indicate that there’s a set procedure for disaffiliating: <a href=“http://www.ehow.com/how_8638677_disaffiliate-sorority.html”>http://www.ehow.com/how_8638677_disaffiliate-sorority.html</a></p>
<p>If an agreement was signed that dues would be paid for a set period (say, a year), that very well could be binding. As I understand it, dues are determined by the number of people who’ll be paying them. I seem to remember two of my daughters making the commitment to pay their dues each year. </p>
<p>I don’t see how parents can be dunned for this in any case.</p>
<p>Just adding - Furman has a delayed rush. Is your daughter a new member of the sorority in 2014? If she hasn’t yet done the formal initiation, I believe she can be excused for that reason. </p>
<p>She joined as a Sophomore and is now a Senior and it’s not really the final semester dues which is the issue but more of the principle. The ‘lifetime commit’ is a bit daunting. Don’t believe she ever signed a contract!</p>
<p>If she never signed anything, I don’t see how she can be compelled to pay dues. I am fairly sure that my kids had to sign something about the financial commitment each year, but I never saw any documents so I’m really just guessing. I know someone who felt mild peer pressure to stay in her sorority chapter at Syracuse, even though the financial commitment was a burden. She stood up to it and was able to disaffiliate after a few weeks. </p>
<p>Instead of going through Furman administration, maybe your daughter could contact the sorority’s national organization. I imagine this issue comes up occasionally and that they have a policy in place to deal with it.</p>
<p>It can be complicated to resign membership if she’s not current on her dues, which would be why the sorority is coming after her/you. In addition, there’s a difference between resigning membership and taking early alumnae status, both of which could have different outcomes for the financial piece of it. If she wants to get rid of her membership entirely, she has to resign. If she wants to get out of the commitment for the last semester, but is still interested in getting involved with alumnae chapters, she should take early alumnae status. I’d recommend getting in touch with ADPi nationals, as well as the chapter treasurer. Your daughter should know how to do each of those. </p>
<p>Furman will have no say over any of these things, as they don’t run the sorority’s finances, so you can stop sending them emails and threatening cease and desist.</p>
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<p>She signed it on bid day with everyone else (sometimes this happens at initiation). Sororities set their dues based on how many girls they have in their membership. When someone bails on their commitment (and when they sign that card it is for their term at the University) Once you are a senior, your time commitment to a house is very small. Typically no more than 2 hours a week (If that). You can certainly be more involved, but “required” time is very minimal. The fact is, it sounds as if your daughter just changed her mind. If she was behind on dues when she asked to resign, she would not have been able to do that until she was current. Every National Sorority has scholarship dollars to help girls that are struggling. Something does not seem right with this story. And @soccergurl7988 was right, this is between your daughter and ADPi, Furman has nothing to do with it. She can’t participate with the sorority because her dues are past due, you say she tried to deactivate her membership. Did she do this in writing and have a meeting with her Standards Committee? I have been in a sorority, advised a sorority and have daughters in sororities and volunteer at their houses. I am telling you something is missing in this story.</p>
<p>Instead of hazing new pledges, the sororities should have pledges dun alumnae for installment payments on their life time commitments…the pledges could work out of a telephone call center set up in one of the rooms in the sorority house…could be a real cash cow operation raising money for the sorority.</p>
<p>OP, is the bill directly from the sorority or is it an independent billing company? My daughter is in a sorority and the billing is done through BillingHighway. I had several run-ins with them over problems we ran into with automatic billing and they were less than helpful. I finally got it straightened out by sending a lengthy email to the sorority national headquarters. There was a contact there who dealt with billing issues. After pleading my case to her, she was the only person who had the authority to wave the overcharges that I received (which she did). You may want to check into that avenue. Good luck!</p>
<p>OP, the same thing happened to me many moons ago when I was in college. They budget for that money so that’s why they come after the parents if dues aren’t paid.</p>
<p>Great advice all. FYI, She tried to deactivate WHILE CURRENT with her dues and has been getting $ fined by ADPi by not being able to participate in ADPi (required) activities because of her out-of-town required tennis team schedule, so the University is involved here. BTW, she even paid the fines to stay current! The only thing missing 8-Ball is why this sorority is showing such an IRS-like attitude towards it’s finances. </p>
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<p>@lizard I would bet based on your post that you are not in a sorority, never have been and only have second hand information on how they work. (And if that is the case, IMO you are out of your lane) I think most sorority women today would tell you that hazing today is very rare (I am speaking only in regard to sororities). Alumnae dues for my sorority are $25 a year. Nothing to bash your head over. Most sorority women today do things that matter when it comes to raising money, and that is for their respective philanthropies. </p>
<p>Not sure how to quote on the new system, but Folger, Furman is still not involved. Just because the activity is a Furman-sponsored activity, the university still has nothing to do with it. These are all sorority national rules. If she is missing required activities WITHOUT BEING EXCUSED then yes, she will be fined by the chapter. It’s standard practice for all sororities, regardless of whether you’re missing activities for an athletic activity or to take a family vacation. My guess is this chapter would be excusing her, so obviously we’re missing something there as well.</p>
<p>Has she met with her standards officer or council? Has she submitted her request to terminate her membership in writing? </p>
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Hazing is taken very seriously. Nothing to through around. I have not experienced hazing. Only a warm welcoming group of arms from people who I’d love to continue to get to know and hang out with. </p>
<p>…just kidding around. I didn’t join a sorority in college, but I did do athletics in college same as OP’s daughter apparently did. I remember clear has day my college coach from day one discouraging us from joining a sorority, or the boys fraternities, while doing a sport because of time demands…just so much can be done in 24 hours. As far as being threatened with collections–pay the money due; dispute the demands; or just ignore the collection threats.</p>