When I was a teenager I was skinny (5’6", 112 lbs.) but I was never a size 0 or 2. I just wasn’t built that way. Great idea to tell kid built like me “You may think you’re not fat, you may not be fat according to the charts and your doctor, but every time you go to yoga, a spin class, or other yoga pant appropriate exercise everyone else in the class thinks you’re fat.”
One of my kids refused to wear skirts in kindergarten after a classmate pointed out that she had hairy legs. I can just imagine the reaction of some of these teenagers to being told they look fat in yoga pants.
It’s perfectly appropriate to tell kids they need to follow the school dress code. It’s not appropriate or productive to shame them.
Adding:
That said, everyone makes mistakes and it sounds like the principal has now learned from hers. Hopefully she’ll now be a little more sensitive to her students.
This is yet another situation where the person in authority only needs to say: “These are the rules. Follow them or face the previously published consequences.”
Really, this is straightforward enough. No need for editorial. What fool of an administrator tries to argue about fashion with teenagers!
I have also never been a size 0 or 00. I went from under 5’ and under 100 pounds to 5’5" and 125 pounds in one year at age 12-13. I’ve mostly stayed there for the past many decades. D and I cannot share shoes or clothing, but I do loan her accessories–jewelry & wraps.
Clearly there are styles that look better on me than her (and vice versa), due to our different shapes, but we both make fashion choices that please us and are suitable for the events we attend.
Once more for people who can’t seem to understand:
You CAN put in a dress code.
You CAN teach students what is and isn’t professional
And you CAN do this without resorting to “If you’re not a size 0, you look fat.”
NO ONE is saying that she’s wrong for enforcing a dress code that dictates coverage if wearing leggings. Why are people purposely ignoring this?
Even when I was significantly underweight, I was never a zero. That would have been pretty difficult at my height.
I do not think anyone disagrees with you, Romani. Some posters simply have a strong negative reaction to posts that say she needs to be fired and never allowed to work with children. If we were to fire everyone for every wrong, there would be a 100% unemployment.
On a side note, I would “personally fire” a doctor who would be trying to tiptoe around the issue instead of telling me bluntly that I am fat and need to drop a few pounds to prevent a larger damage from happening to the body. Of course, the phrasing would be different. Instead of “you look fat”, it should be “you are obese.”
+1 on this. If we were to draw and quarter every person who made a dumb comment, there would be nobody left to do the drawing and quartering.
Sadly, the body image issue isn’t influenced by one person who made an opinion public, but by the attitudes of parents and other kids. Middle and high school girls can be vicious. Bullying and nasty comments to one personally affect one far more than someone stating a general opinion.
Depending on the manner, tone, and situational context concerned, stating a general opinion can easily veer into bullying territory.
Going back to my thought experiment, would you have been ok with the principal calling out your kids publicly as being “stupid”, “a moron”, “intellectually dim”, etc because they received a mediocre or sometimes even a good but not outstanding grade or standardized test results? I doubt most parents would.
And that’s even accounting for the fact a principal who is presiding over what is ostensibly an ACADEMIC institution(high school) has a much stronger case* for calling out students for less than topflight academic/standardized test results than for his/her personal opinions on their personal appearance.
Especially when it veers well-beyond dress codes when she opined leggings on students greater than size 2 make them “look fat”. Talk about misplaced priorities on that principal’s part.
Still unacceptable and dare I say it....UNPROFESSIONAL.
Trust me, as someone who has been a young woman, biting comments towards you personally from other classmates is much more traumatizing than one administrator making a speech that we wouldn’t even listen to, or perhaps we would mock. I was very thin in the days where it was “gross”, and “skeletal”, not desired. I wouldn’t care a bit if an administrator said wearing a certain outfit made girls look too thin, but personal derisive comments by other kids were pretty tough. Fortunately I never let it touch me, but I do remember.
I’m not okay with any of the comments, about looks or intelligence, however, I believe people can learn after messing up. They don’t need to be banned for life. Repetitively doing something after being warned not to is a different story, and grounds for dismissal. Unless, of course, the union protects them from that, which is an entirely separate issue.
Being a principal is different from being a student teacher. At this point, you’re not supposed to still be learning the basics of dealing with adolescents. You’re supposed to already have a handle on the basics-- like don’t call girls “fat.”
Additionally, her position of authority gave the comment extra importance. If you’re a 14 year old, fighting with your brother, and he calls you fat, it hurts-- but you probably respond in kind. But you know that he loves you, that he’s a 14 year old boy, and that his opinion on your looks simply doesn’t matter.
But a principal?? Your teachers’ boss? Sorry, that carries a whole lot more umph.
If an adult authority figure-- someone in his/her position because they’re supposed to educate kids–said that to either of my daughters, it would wound them deeply.
On the other hand, if he/she said “Sorry, girls, leggings are unprofessional and against the district dress code for school” it would be a whole different matter. Because then it’s the leggings you’re critiquing, not the teenager.
She’s gotten a massive amount of backlash about this. It is obvious that she regrets what she said, and has met with each class in the school to talk about it. She’s going to have to relive and rehash, continuously apologize for this one forever. It is pretty likely that not only she has learned from this, but other people have also, watching her scrambling to explain. I hope these girls who are declaring how hurtful this is will make sure that they don’t do this to others.
If the teacher is in a union, there very well might not be hell to pay. I don’t know if principals and administrators are unionized. The teachers unions have been known to even protect child molesters and their pensions. I am glad that I’m in a union, however, they do serve to protect even the lowest common denominator.
This has nothing to do with unions. We’re not a union school-- that absolutely wasn’t my point.
My point is that our job is to educate kids, not mock them.
This woman could absolutely work in administration, either in the district or her own school. She can decide on textbooks, work out the bus routes, help iron out the budget. She can be in charge of attendance, or be the point person for standardized testing for the districts. So many really important jobs need doing.
But I don’t want her teaching, or interacting with, my children. Or any of the wonderful, sometimes vulnerable, kids I’ve taught over the years.
And just a question-- not on unions, but on your last statement-- do you want your children taught by “the lowest common denominator?” I certainly don’t.
@bjkmom, I don’t want my kids taught by the lowest common denominator, which is a reason they were in private schools from an early age, up until graduation from high school. Private schools have the option to not renew contracts if they choose not to, there is no union protection. There were still teachers that said some pretty scathing things to my kids that we talked about, and explained why the teacher was wrong to say these things. We were never demanding the teachers heads.
But it is hard to find perfect people who will never make a mistake, to teach or administer our children. I wouldn’t require someone to be demoted from principal to attendance taker, for one mistake. But that’s just a difference of opinion than yours. I’ve seen a lot of people say something dumb, pass on a rude email, or make an ignorant facebook post. One time doesn’t require the end of a career to me. But I am an imperfect person, with imperfect friends, family members and co-workers, and I have a greater tolerance for error, if it is acknowledged and regretted.
I don’t think expecting professionals to do their job in a professional manner is expecting perfection. This woman is far enough up the ladder that she should have known better.
I wonder if people would have the same reaction if it had been a middle aged man commenting on those girls bodies. Can an adult male educator tell young girls he thinks they look fat in certain styles if they’re above a size 2?
According to the article, the principal was described as “probably Stratford’s best principal yet.” A girl who attended the assembly said of the principal, "She was not calling anyone fat, it was not meant to be derogatory,”
I would never call for someone to be fired over one comment, particularly someone who has performed well overall. Also, what message would firing someone over a comment many viewed as benign send to the students? That you step out of line once and your career is over? What a great way to raise a generation of sheep.
As a person I know once said, “It all depends whose ox is gored.”
There are most likely plenty of people defending the principal who would change their tune if she derided people with whom THEY identified.
That said, if she is in fact generally a good educator, and not just the skinny woman she appears at this point, she should have the opportunity to fully apologize, explain, and discuss what she did wrong to the the kinds, and continue.
I did not state that a student called the principal the best Stratford had had. In a separate sentence, I stated that a student was the one who said the comments were not derogatory:
"Crystal Sivertsen, who has two daughters at the high school, told WCSC in Charleston she was “appalled” by some of the Facebook posts criticizing Taylor.
She said her daughters told her Taylor “was not singling anyone out, she was not calling anyone fat, it was not meant to be derogatory,” Sivertsen told the TV station."
The daughter(s) told their mother that the principal did not call anyone fat.
Also from the article, the principal stated, “It is not meant to be your actual pants, and if you have a shirt that comes to here, then you are showing everything. Yes, everything,”
Perhaps the principal was trying to delicately tell students they are showing “camel toe” and other parts they might want to consider not showing.
Sorry, I am not an angry person, and I am not going to vilify this woman.
