I don’t think there are any, or many, on here that question that the Principal made an error in judgment. Her actual quote was
She didn’t call anyone “fat”, but the problem was frankly using the word “fat” as something that had a negative stigma to be avoided. It wasn’t the size 4 girls who would be offended by being told they looked fat in leggings, it was those students who struggle with a self-image of being overweight who were reminded that it was a stigma who might have been upset by the comment.
Nonetheless…calling for her to be fired, or banned from any job interacting with students… Come on! Go ahead and throw your stones, but consider if you really want to be living in a world where they come back to hit you and your family in your own livelihood. I know I don’t.
For me, it seems completely unprofessional for any school official to make any public negative comment whatsoever about personal appearance. or dress, for girls or boys. It’s fine to direct them to follow the dress code. Any other public commentary is inappropriate. imho. So, while I think it was very wrong to use the word “fat” – the idea she was commenting on appearance is the real problem for me. Why didn’t she know better? This really bothers me she didn’t.
I understand there may be times when a private meeting between a school official and student about personal presentation may be necessary in the eyes of the school. That isn’t this discussion, though.
And some fathers/older male neighbors and older/peer boys decades ago would take boys who spread malicious gossip about others…especially girls aside for harsh disciplinary measures.
In the early '70s, when an older cousin and his friend/neighbor were caught by his religiously conservative father maliciously gossiping about the appearance/supposed promiscuity of some female classmates, the friend’s neighbor notified my cousin’s parents and proceeded to use corporal punishment to discipline his son right in their backyard in an area where such disciplining was still commonly practiced among multi-generationed Americans.
Comparatively speaking, the cousin got off lightly…received a harsh lengthy lecture about how maliciously gossip was unacceptable behavior and then grounded for the entire semester and had all money he was earning from his part-time jobs garnished as a “fine” for the offense. And that religiously conservative multi-generationed American felt my aunt/uncle were “too soft” and “coddling” in those punishments…
One thing’s for sure, both learned never to do it again and are now imparting those same values to their own kids…albeit using less severe disciplinary regimes.
In my old neighborhood, boys/young men spreading malicious gossip are likely to find themselves surrounded by older/peer boys, roughed up, and tossed into the nearest trashcan/dumpster with full approval and sometimes participation of the fathers themselves.
And if the girl(s) being maliciously gossiped about happen to have brothers/boyfriends/male friends who took greater umbrage, the malicious gossiper would be best advised to make a public groveling apology in front of the girl(s) and their family/friends, become very proficient in streetfighting…sometimes with knives, or go into hiding…
Irritated enough to finally comment. I’m tall and typical clothing sizes were usually too short or my nonfat self needed sizes a lot larger than the typical girls who are that 5" shorter to be of average height. Size 2??? Would have needed hospitalization for anorexia. That principal looked average and very much so physically, mentally and socially. Not everyone fits in the 2 standard deviations on the Bell curve for any parameter. “one size fits all” is not for some of us…
I’m having a garage sale next weekend so I’m going through boxes with clothes that just got thrown in a box before I went to college. The smallest size I found was a pair of shorts, size 4. I remember these shorts because that’s what I was wearing when I was hospitalized as a junior. You could see all of my ribs at this point. I did not have an eating disorder but it sure looked like I did.
And yes, I would have been offended if my principal told me I looked fat because of an arbitrary number.
In absolutely no universe did size 4, 6, or 8 me look fat. I never struggled with body image- at all- (yes, I’m very fortunate) but I would have been offended because I prided myself on being fit and athletic. I was a year round athlete and I liked my body (not in a conceited way- I just was happy with how I looked).
Except she didn’t tell anyone personally that they looked fat. I don’t understand personalizing a general comment that someone makes to a group. It must be hard for people that do to look at anything whatsoever on the internet, because there are constant generalities and judgments that people are making, all the time. It would be completely impossible to have any self esteem if one personalizes every stupid comment they hear.
We taught our kids at a fairly young age that sometimes adults are just wrong, yes, even us. Sometimes they say stupid things, sometimes they are completely incorrect, sometimes you know more than they do. Consequently, our kids did not have any particular reverence or respect for people merely because they were adults, though they were always polite. There is no adult that they considered Godlike, and would cry and cringe if they heard any negative comment. Even if it was personal, which sometimes it was.
Taking offense is big business. It generates clicks, it collects others interested in a good hen pecking or witch hunt. It seems to have become an extra curricular activity for a predictable group.
I don’t get this statement. So if a “physically fit” person wears something it’s ok, but it’s not if the person isn’t fit?
I went to yoga class this morning. Majority of students were female and all were wearing tank tops and yoga pants. That was entirely appropriate regardless of fitness level/age etc. OTOH, a tank top and yoga leggings would have been completely inappropriate for anyone to wear to my office. It’s the occasion not the person’s body which determines if the clothing is decorous.