<p>I’ve read through this thread and find myself amazed at how people from other parts of the country look at “southerners”. Some people sometimes act like we’re in this part of the country that you have to beware. Believe it or not, we’ve got technology, modern science, athletes, intellect, wonderful hertiage, Southern hospitality, delicious foods, and even have our teeth. With all of that, my particular state has green hills and Smoky mountains, waterfalls, and fresh air. I wouldn’t trade my sweet tea, fried okra or my occasional “y’all” or “fixin’ to” for all anything. My husband is a Purdue grad and he’s even grown to love the South. It can happen…believe me. </p>
<p>Good post, TNMom! I miss Texan friendliness a lot, even though I’ve lived in Maine 23 years now. Whenever I go home to Austin, I’m surprised at how much more people smile down there. I just wish it wasn’t so hot in the summers there, or I would think about moving back!</p>
<p>As friendly as Texas is (28 years for me, lifetime for H), we are awed by the friendliness in Tennessee. H can’t get over being called “sweetie” and “honey” by all the checkout clerks and service people. I was born in the south (so I really do have southern roots), grew up in the northeast, went to college and law school in the midwest, lived in Texas for 28 years and TN for 3, and I feel completely home in Tennessee.<br>
My father is an east coast person and as an elderly person, he and my stepmother have made 3 or 4 attempts to live in California, which they love for the climate and proximity to my stepsister. At 83 they are heading back to Virginia- he just feels too cut off from what he likes about the east. (Granted, Charlottesville isn’t really the east, but it is as close to DC as they can be and have a good senior living center). Go figure.</p>
<p>Yeah, folks from places like boston, NY, philly are just not known for being friendly or smiley. Just look at the baseball fans. It’s REALLY tough to make it as a bb player in these towns…guys in slumps are greeted with boos. Ex-players from other teams are also regularly showered with boos (and they usually hit lots of home runs!). </p>
<p>It’s such a shock when you travel outside these boundaries and see that most people are chatty and friendly. What’s WRONG with us?? </p>
<p>Tennessee sounds cool…I’ll have to check it out.</p>
<p>Forget about never leaving your state. In Chicago I met many people in the suburbs who had never even been into the city! Talk about insular. Even though many of the suburbs are contiguous and indistinguishable, many people are born, grow up, and die in the same suburb. “Oh, I couldn’t live in Bensonville! I like it here in Rosemont.” Darned if I could tell where one stopped and the other began.</p>
<p>You know, there’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to stay close to your roots. . If I’m happy as a clam in my city, go the local college, vacation at the nearby shore - what’s wrong with that? I probably have a strong group of friends and family and just don’t want to stray too far. Are those who travel and live in lots of different places better people? </p>
<p>BTW, I LIKE to travel and check out new places and have lived in a few different spots…but I can certainly understand and respect those who make different choices. </p>
<p>Around here, it seems more glamorous to make a choice to go out of state or far away for college. Parents boast about their kids having friends from all different parts of the country. Is that really necessary to have a full life? Isn’t it OK to stay close if you want to? It just seems like the tone is that these folks are inferior in some way. Really, they’re just making different choices.If I’m a kid who would have prefer NOT having to adapt to the south (or north for that matter) - it’s probably best for me to just stay local. It’s fine. There’s no generic “better” choice here imo, just one that better suits the individual.</p>
I don’t know that I am better, but I’ve learned so much from living both in other parts of our country and overseas, that I feel most people would be better for it. I have no problem with people going home after spending a little time away, but I do think the act of being away is good for people. I never felt more American than after a few years living in Germany. And it took me a few years in Germany to learn to appreciate some of the things that had annoyed me at first (such as most stores being closed most of the weekend.) </p>
<p>Back when I spent my year traveling around the country, I have to say the south was the area of the country that was the most fun to visit, though I wouldn’t necessarily want to live there long term.</p>
<p>Never to go outside a 10-mile radius of where you were born seems strange to me, but of course everyone should live, travel, and go to school in whatever place(s) make(s) them happy.</p>
<p>mathmom - I tend to agree with you (having lived all over the US and overseas), but I know some people who really just couldn’t handle it. Some of my DH’s family is kind of like that…very set in their ways, not open to new experiences, don’t like change. </p>
<p>Of course, there is nothing like being thrown out of the pan and into the fire to see what you are really capable of handling…but not everyone could handle living in bascially 3rd world/developing countries!</p>
<p>mantori…I agree that it seems strange but I try to keep an open mind. Just looking at my own family- my brother never ventures anywhere…still lives in my old hometown. My sister has been all over the place. Both are dear to me and have their own strengths. Actually, I think my brother is a bit more interesting since he’s a voracious reader and can talk about pretty much anything…
In my neighborhood, a kid down the street went south and LOVES it. Another tried it, hated it and is at our local community college. No big deal. Everyone is different.</p>
<p>My college roommates were from the Berkshires and had never had Chinese food when I met them…that I couldn’t believe…they’ve left for a year or two before setting down with families there, but basically say," We have everything here, why leave?" (brr, except sun!)</p>
<p>When I worked in Manhattan I met people who had been born, educated through college, and still lived in Brooklyn. One borough. (Admittedly there is more going on in Brooklyn than in most places, but still!) For them to go to Manhattan to work was a big deal. They would ask me about “the weather up there in Connecticut” as if it was the frozen tundras of the north. Fifty miles away.</p>
<p>Some Manhattanites are famously insular. If someone is visiting Tibet they will refer to the person as being “out of town.” Tibet, Singapore, Berlin, New Jersey: all are simply “out of town.” :D</p>
<p>Speaking of Brooklyn, I was on the subway to Brooklyn Heights once during the Brooklyn Bridge centennial celebration, and someone commented that “many people on this train have been to Europe more often than they’ve been to Brooklyn.” I thought about it and realized that in my case it was correct, in terms not only of time spent but actually number of separate trips! :)</p>
<p>It’s not so much that people chose to live where they grew up and vacation nearby… that’s fine and a personal choice. It’s when they refuse to consider going anywhere else, or believe that the rest of the country is just like where they live, without bothering to open their eyes or learn. It’s more of an attitude, that bothers me, I guess. The “no place else could possibly be as wonderful as the only place I’ve ever lived in or visited.” </p>
<p>Also, I think often people assume that those from large metropolitan areas are more “worldly” than those from rural areas. My post was meant to show that this isn’t really true - you can be from a huge city like NY and be just as insular/provincial - or even moreso - than someone from a small rural town. </p>
<p>I have lived overseas and in several states. Honestly, I love where I live now, in New England. But it has strong points and weak points. So does the South. So does everywhere else. No place is perfect, and like college, different parts of the country are better fits for different people. (I’m thinking urban vs rural, warm vs cold, etc).</p>
<p>One of the things I HATED about living overseas were people who spent their whole time complaining because…“it’s not like the States!” Well, DUH!!! You’re living in a 3rd world/developing country. What the hell do you expect???</p>
<p>Maybe because I’m from New Orleans - which many people liken to a 3rd world country - but I found the transition to living overseas MUCH easier than the transition to living in Houston. Loved living in Egypt - would go back again in a heartbeat. Enjoyed Azerbaijan - but wouldn’t go back to live. Guess I thrive on chaos!!!</p>
<p>I just wrote a long post and lost it on this laptop (grrrr) so will try to summarize. I recall thinking, when I left the north and headed south for grad school, that I’d go down there for my tan and my degree and then return north, where the real people were. I guess I was one of those insular NYers. I recall at first missing the four seasons, the changing of the leaves, the cool crisp fall air, the spring blooms, etc, and I recall thinking that palm threes with christmas decorations were pretty silly, and that FL had 2 seasons- hot summer and Christmas day. But as time passed, I enjoyed the less frenetic pace, the fact that I didnt have to dig my car out of the snow, and I didnt miss trudging though slush, salt on my shoes, or unfriendly people (which, IMO, changed drastically in NY after 9/11- NYers became warmer and kinder). My new mantra became “if there is snow on the ground, there should be skis on my feet”. When I looked at a job in Boston in Feb. after grad school, I recall, as I stood outside waiting for the public transportation, that I’d forgotten about things like chapped lips and the cost of living up north. I ended up staying in the south, in a large city that has the cosmopolitan feel of the north, the change of seasons, yet the charm of the south. I am still a “northerner” in my rapid rate of speech and direct commentary (which sometimes isnt a good thing) but I love where I live.</p>
<p>I am currently in Houston to attend the wedding of a HS friend’s son. She lived for about 15 yrs overseas (the Hague) and raised her kids there. We visited several times and I recall how charming it was,riding bikes to the local shops for fresh cheese, bread, etc, but I also recall laughing when she told me she ran out of dog food one weekend and had to drive an hour to the airport to buy it at a store there! LOL. I don’t think I’d make a good ex-pat, and worried when my Hs co. made noises abous sending use overseas, but it never happened. He just travelled a lot, which he loved. </p>
<p>All in all, I truly believe home becomes where you are, and where you establish a life and circle of friends.</p>
<p>Well, I don’t know if it is a relief or not to find there are many other places in this country that have people who have never left their areas. I thought it was mostly a local thing where I live! We have many generations who live in our cities and towns here and would never consider leaving. Having a four year university here that provides excellent financial aid doesn’t help as most parents just tell their kids “you can just go here for undergrad and then to grad school somewhere else.” Yeah, right. Talk about a trapped mindset. It is often because the parents and other relatives are so afraid of “the great unknown” that they instill this fear, inadvertently or not, in their kids. Many don’t even vacation more than 200 miles from home. We do have a few kids who graduated from the local hs each year who do go out of state to school. My own two did, and they and we are frequently asked “why?” My response is “an education is more than just academics.” S never did return to the area after graduation and D probably won’t either. So, I work on the younger set. I teach computer technology to grades K-5. The 4th graders do a powerpoint where we travel around the US visiting each state and a national or state park in each state. The 5th graders this year did a ppt on an individual country in the world and next year we are all taking a virtual around the world trip. My advice - start them young with the travel mindset. Hopefully some of them will get “bit by the bug.”</p>
<p>My DH has a cousin whose daughter had a great opportunity a few years ago. She got a job with the govt (I think a CIA office) outside of DC, near Dulles. It was about 3.5 hours from the town where all the family lives in PA. DH was thrilled, remembering his college days in DC and thinking about what a great chance this was for her to experience all that DC had to offer.</p>
<p>Well, after 9 months - she quit and moved back home. Turns out, she left work every Friday afternoon and drove to her mother’s house for the weekend, leaving late Sunday night to return to DC. In all those months, she NEVER went down to see the museums or the monuments. She never shopped or dined in the city. She went to one baseball game in Baltimore, but never saw a concert or the fireworks on the mall on July 4.</p>
<p>She now works/lives just 20 minutes from her mother’s house.</p>
<p>I can speak for those of us who stay close to home. It has nothing to do with worldliness or a lack thereof. It’s simply a personal choice, no different than hating lima beans. I don’t like to travel. I’ve tried it, hate it. Which is not to say I am not interested. I love to learn about all areas of the country–throughly enjoyed this thread–and the world. But I don’t need to be physically IN that place to be interested in, learn about, appreciate and respect the people and customs of any particular area. I have two sons, one just like me and one with wanderlust. Son 1 works for a global corp that would send him all over the world, but he simply is not interested and opts out. And no–we don’t think here is better, we just think here is fine. We appreciate the life we have. I suspect Son 2 will be all over the world, and that is wonderful for him. I am thrilled he has that interest. They’re both bright and successful kids–just enjoy different things, plain and simple. In our case, you can’t presume anything more than that of the the homebodies : )</p>
<p>1tgmom - you are right. There is no right or wrong here - just different strokes. </p>
<p>DH’s family is very happy, all living within just a few minutes of each other in the town that has been home to many generations. They would never have chosen the life we did - they would be miserable. And we would be miserable living the way they do. But, we all appreciate each other and respect the decisions made - well, for the most part…still can’t see how someone can spend 9 months in DC and NEVER do anything! :)</p>
- but I found the transition to living overseas MUCH easier than the transition to living in Houston. Loved living in Egypt - would go back again in a heartbeat. Enjoyed Azerbaijan - but wouldn’t go back to live. Guess I thrive on chaos!!!</p>