Real life suggestions needed for “architectural support” by apple shaped mother of bride. Dress cut mandates strapless bra and separate tummy control. Planning on dancing night away so comfort a biggie, pun intended
I highly recommended trying on a bunch of things at a place like Nordstrom or a lingerie store that has a good selection of shapewear. If something fits but feel a bit tight, try a size bigger. It could still provide enough shaping power with more comfort.
I perfect like Simone Perelle high waist shapers. Nordstrom sells them, so look them up. They stay up and don’t need straps.
Get thee to a Nordstom and work closely with a fitter. And be sure to take your dress with you. The fitter will bring you all sorts of styles and sizes to try on.
Wacoal’s Red Carpet bra has been the winner for me in the strapless category. Fit is critical in a strapless bra, so go somewhere where you can be itted properly if possible.
I second all the Nordstrom recommendations. I’m a MOB too, and the lovely fitters at Nordstrom were amazing in helping me with shapewear.
I agree about Nordstrom…or a lingerie store. And I totally agree about getting a size larger. You don’t need a girdle…you need “smoothing out”.
I paid a small fortune to get a shaper from Spanx. I consider it well worth it! I didn’t need to work with a fitter, but I friends who have done so swear by Nordstrom.
Yes, yes, yes to @yauponredux suggestion to Wacoal Red Carpet strapless bra. It is amazing, will not fall down and is as comfortable as a strapless bra can be. I suggest you find your true size first. Typically, you need to,size down in the band size and up the cup. I find I have to experiement and if ordering online, will buy 2 or 3 different sizes to find the right one. So easy with Zappos if you can’t find it in a local department store.
Another recommendation for Nordstrom fitters or a good lingerie shop. Having the right fit makes a difference.
Wacoal bras do nothing for me. Marie Jo Tom strapless bra is, OTOH, works like magic. It is all individual, so if you shop online, don’t buy something that you can’t return easily.
Did you try the Red Carpet, @BunsenBurner ?
Tried many Wacoal styles… including that one. Tom works for me and can be worn with and without straps and halter style, too.
What I am saying is what works for one person does not work for another. It is good to have options to pick from, but one needs to keep in mind that if one’s buying shapers or bras online without having tried a particular model, a good return policy is a must.
I completely love the title of this conversation. 
(when my kids take this step, i’m coming for tips!)
Years (and years!) ago, I needed a strapless bra for my wedding dress. I detest strapless bras, but found that a strapless corset was a lot more comfortable. It rested on my hip bones and kind of propped up the girls from there. Not that I have much of a bust to speak of, but if you find strapless bras uncomfortable, a corset may be a good option.
Yes, my friend wore a “longline” strapless bra that she said was a “Merry Widow” for her wedding. I had to wear a strapless bra as matron of honor as well. My niece is having support built into her wedding gown she she doesn’t have to wear a bra. D had her bridesmaid dress altered so she didn’t have to wear a bra either.
I have no experience with shape wear or Spanx. I have never found a comfortable strapless bra and might be inclined to consider a longline strapless bra instead if I needed one for more than a few hours. I try to avoid fashions that would require a strapless bra.
I’d shoot for a one-piece, because it would keep the strapless bra in place and eliminate tummy support roll down. That said, it’s usually better to size up on the bottom half, while the top half really needs to fit. I’d try on a bunch of options to find the least binding that will stay put.
I also prefer strapless gowns that have a good bra sewn in - then, you can just focus on the bottom half.