<p>DD is so excited to go down and get her license tomorrow as you can imagine. Even though it will be nice not be a taxi for everything, I still feel it opens a “whole new can of worms”…She is responsible but I have my concerns… What were/are your rules for your 16 year old when they he/she got their license…Thanks in advance</p>
<p>Good luck to you!!!
You just have to watch them. Watch their friends. Stay involved. Alcohol should be a top concern. I say this because it gets about among the kids who has it, and there starts up these innocent ‘sleepovers’ (males) at age 17. Like what male sleeps over at 17?? And then I find out that said friend (who is adopted, with problems…please, no offense, please) that his brother, who came to visit and is a druggie, came with a case of beer and freely dispensed it during ballgames in the basement. …So just be real careful and cautious about friends and hours out , get their schoolwork done. Call the teachers make sure everyting is going well. That’s what I have to say.</p>
<p>But if an accident is going to happen, it will happen. I’ve seen my kids friends smash up in the school parking lot. Make sure they know the procedure if it happens.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>We signed a Teen Driving Contract with him. You can google and find lots of templates and then customize. Related to driving responsibly, no drinking and driving, call us and we’ll come no qx asked if any problem; his responsibilities wrt filling the tank etc.</p></li>
<li><p>We made a rule about knowing where he was going and who with. Didn’t expect him to call with every minor move from house of Friend A to house of Friend B. But anything further afield than our town, he should call.</p></li>
<li><p>If he was going to arrive home later than expected (or later than our loose curfew), he was to call.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>It was already state law that he could not have teen passengers for the first 3 months. (I knew of some parents who would ignore this rule. Bad idea, imo.) It went without saying that he would maintain his Good Student Discount for insurance.</p>
<p>Worked well for us. Our S never got speeding or other violations as a new driver. Several other kids we knew did. He did get a speeding ticket as an 18-year old. Our rule was that he paid it, of course. Logical consequences and all.</p>
<p>All 4 of ours had the same rules. No riders the first 6 months unless they had my permission and the permission of the parents of the person they were taking. Penalty of loss of license. They had to call when they got there and when they left to come home for the first month. No driving around just to drive. They had to check their route with me before they left. They had to show me they could read a map. They had to have the deductible ($500) in the bank to drive. I was not going to pay for their accidents. They had to have a B average before getting their license. . I was not going to pay more for their insurance than the good student discount would get. </p>
<p>There is so much bad traffic around here it is really dangerous for the kids. They need time to make mistakes and go the wrong direction without their friends seeing them. Around here people know the kids so they knew that if they broke the rules someone might see them and let us know. That helped keep them relatively cooperative. </p>
<p>Good news is that they all got through their time fine. Made some mistakes but none fatal. They are still good drivers.</p>
<p>We live in a state with a graduated license – no other passengers (without an adult) for a year, curfew, etc. In addition, I graduated the license geographically. Each kid was only able to drive independently for short distances at first and gradually as they had more experience, we expanded. I also continued to have them drive me when we went places so they were still gaining driving experience with me in the car and so I could tell if they were being careful drivers. With the first kid (who had his license before the laws changed), I called the mom of his best friend and we set the limits for how far they could go together. My daughter drove nowhere far for a year (she joked that she only had two streets) after she had her license because she just wasn’t very good at “multi-tasking” – e.g. looking for lots of cues while driving. Then, when she improved, she was able to drive to further. Here is my big warning. One of my kids got into an accident when he drove to a soccer tournament in a different part of town with one way streets and very poor signs. Sure enough, he turned onto a one-way street – slowly but it was an accident. So after that we knew to warn the kids to be extra careful when in new areas. Also, when my next kid gets his license, he will have a portable GPS – because the accident above would have been averted with one (they didn’t exist then) and lots of accidents do happen when kids (and adults) are busy looking for signs, etc. Also, seat belts are mandatory. When I said that my kids were responsible for other kids being buckled up, one said, “I can’t make them…” and I said, “Then the engine doesn’t turn on. You CAN make them. If you can’t then you can’t drive other people” I think they’ve been very good about enforcing the seat belt rule.</p>
<p>No riders except H and me for the first 6 months of having their permanent license. (We also didn’t let them ride with friends until the friends had had their permanent licenses for at least 6 months). </p>
<p>Our kids didn’t get their own cars, but shared the family cars with H and me. </p>
<p>They had to follow house rules such as letting us know where they were going (and getting permission to go) and when they’d be back.</p>
<p>Our sons were odd in that we had to virtually push them into getting their licenses. Older S, who had skipped, didn’t get his permanent license until he was in college on a summer internship. Then, he jumped right into driving including driving half way across the country by himself to go to a job. Not the best way to learn how to drive safely.</p>
<p>We learned our lesson with that and made younger S get his learners while he was in high school. He still chose to do that about a year or so after he was eligible, but he had his permanent license by the time he was a senior. </p>
<p>He is a more careful driver than I am, and when we’re going some place together I happily turn the wheel over to him.</p>
<p>He has had no traffic violations, and has been driving at least 3 years now.</p>
<p>I suspect older S – who is 24 and doesn’t have a car, but lives in a city with great pubic transportation – may have lost his license due to repeated violations or may no longer be able to afford insurance for that reason. But, that’s a guess because other than letting me know about several accidents he was in (no one was hurt, thank goodness), he hasn’t shared other details with me.</p>
<p>No matter how excited your daughter is, nitnat, according to our insurance agent, she should NOT drive after the test tomorrow.</p>
<p>While she had a learner’s permit, she was covered by your insurance. But once she has a license, she has to be added to your family’s insurance policy before she will be covered. So she can’t drive until you call the insurance agent and get her name added to the policy, which could take a day or two.</p>
<p>Of course, if she fails the test, she can drive home, with you in the other seat.</p>
<p>Didn’t have any. The state has laws about passengers in the first six months.</p>
<p>(Her having the car was far more of a convenience for us than for her, and she used to call us about every two hours daily! even when we told her not to.)</p>
<p>My older one failed her driving test twice before succeeding (last summer), and hasn’t driven since (she’s in graduate school).</p>
<p>Same as mini - we are also in WA (I was glad when the new rules were adopted). D knew that she had to adhere to them or the car keys would be taken away. Knock on wood, she did not have any problems, accidents or tickets in the two years she drove here (and she drove a lot!). She is now at a college where she can get by without having a car, and the lower nsurance rates are surely nice to have.</p>
<p>no riders no exceptions for a rather long time. </p>
<p>We make rules that suit our own children, even though they are responsible people. Son number 2 still at home is 18 and has only recently gotten his bearings. Super day dreamer, still find it excruciating to watch him untie his shoes…He doesn’t look, uses his left hand, eyes in the distance, thinking about something else. </p>
<p>You may have a child whose brain is super integrated and you may be justified in letting them on the Santa Monica freeway.</p>
<p>My kids were allowed to take a friend here or there after 6-10 months. I felt no obligation to even name a date. So, he was a square and I road shotgun on flatbed trucks. I was also in two wrecks before I was 19. </p>
<p>My eldest about to graduate from college didn’t have a car till he was 21 and had a real job that required it. He got a speeding ticket (20 miles over) within a week. </p>
<p>Normally, he is quite conservative</p>
<p>Never overestimate a brain still in formation…and my opinion is that this is cultural, variable and no family has to go about it the same way.</p>
<p>My S is a music fanatic, so he was not allowed to turn on the stereo for first few months while driving solo. Fortunately, the car he drives has removable faceplate on stereo, so I kept it until Christmas after he turned 16, about 4 months. No passengers until then either. Worked great for him. He really is a good driver, but turns on the stereo, puts in cd before he leaves the driveway…</p>
<p>I don’t recall laying things out as “rules” so much. However, our state law was that the first six months you cannot drive anyone else unless an adult is in the car. Unlike some parents, we enforced this and our kids drove nobody else, nor were allowed to ride in cars of friends until they passed that time period. Also, we always knew where our kids were at all times (even before they got a license). When they could drive themselves, they had to call as they left and call as they arrived so we knew they were safe and also when to expect them. They could only drive to certain places/areas/distances at first until more experience was gained on longer routes or highways (we live in a rural area). Mostly, they drove in our community and also to their dance studio 25 miles away. I didn’t need drinking rules as not only is it the law, my kids also would not be into that and also my kids never drank in high school (I know this). </p>
<p>Even with having restrictions such as these, things STILL can happen. One of my kids, at age 16, two months after she got her license, when leaving her dance studio and getting on the highway, was in a very serious car crash that she was very lucky to survive, albeit with very serious injuries (intensive care, surgery). In fact, due to our restrictions, and she wanted to go to a city 45 miles from us and was not allowed to do that yet, she was just driving one exit to leave her car and to meet friends who had a license for a year and were going to drive her to that city. So, ironically she still was in a death defying crash. You don’t have to go far to have an accident.</p>
<p>soozie, we remember that frightening crash very well. She was quite valiant in her recovery…glad this is a memory that is fading for you…</p>
<p>In addition to all those driving rules (see above), our sons were not allowed to drive any of our cars until they could pay for it. We calculated the cost of the additional insurance, and in S1’s case, the cost of transferring a registration (complicated story). We have a third car available to them now, so they must pay and fill it with gas. S1 didn’t drive for almost three months after getting his license because he neglected to plan ahead and get a job. S2 had the benefit of seeing that played out and beefed up his bank account before getting the license.</p>
<p>archiemom, that is a great approach. not for everyone…some families need teen drivers for the good of the entire unit to get everyone where they have to be…But I like the message…in your approach a lot.</p>
<p>We didn’t let any of our 3 have passengers for at least 4 months, no speeding tickets , no observed speeding by mom or dad’s friends, no music-for awhile-just the radio–CD changing is dangerous, no talking on cell phones and seat belts buckled BEFORE they start the car.(That one drove me crazy–I had to run outside in my robe on more than one occasion.) Had to be in the house when the law said they had to be in which was 11pm.(Other parents thought that was too early). Once they were driving for several months; no more passengers than seat belts. If they were late for some reason, they had to call before they were late, not after! The phone charger was always in the car, so I wouldn’t take the “my phone battery was dead” excuse! They had to put their own gas in the car and always return our cars with the same amount of gas as when they got in them (My S1 was infamous for that one.) That was the list before the 3rd started driving…I got smarter after the first two.</p>
<p>House rules (supported by the state rules)…no passengers for 3 months after getting the license and driving over 1000 miles. No passengers without OUR permission AND the permission of the passenger’s parents for the next SIX months (new driver…we didn’t want them running a taxi service…and we also wanted to know who was in the car and why). Kids had to maintain honor roll status or they lost the use of the car (and had to pay the difference between honor roll insurance and cost without that benefit…it never happened). No driving out of state. Kids HAD to run any errands we asked of them if they were expecting to use our car(s) (please stop at the grocery to get milk on your way home…a YES was expected). </p>
<p>We were the “mean parents” but our kids don’t seem any worse for the wear.</p>
<p>Our house rules - no passenger unless it’s mom and dad the first year of getting a license. After one year with no accident, she can only take her sister back/forth to school.</p>
<p>I should have my kids read this thread to see that we were not the only parents with strict driving rules! It seemed that most families we knew just let the kids go. We incorporated many of the strategies some of you have already mentioned, plus school-based driver ed, many hours of practice with parents before road test and another required 500 miles driving time with parent after road test before being allowed to drive alone. No friends for the first month, then only one unless specific permission was given for more.</p>
<p>One rule we had was for the first year if we said no driving due to weather that was it. Living in rural Iowa snow and blowing snow can be difficult for even the most experienced drivers, so there were always mornings that they were told “Today you’re on the bus.” Not to much of a problem since most of their friends had the same rule.</p>