<p>I am involved in several community organizations and at times I am called upon to speak before small groups of people.
However, even if I don’t feel that nervous beforehand, when I am speaking, my voice shakes & I get all sweaty which makes me more hesitant to do it again.</p>
<p>I do find that when I am speaking on a topic that I am emotional about ( yesterday I was speaking about education for disadvantaged kids) it is much more difficult for me.
It is easier when I am giving instructions at a worksite.</p>
<p>Both my kids have used beta blockers when they had to give a big presentation, but I don’t want to have to do that, since it would take more planning.
A few months ago, I sang to a packed club & that didn’t bother me at all, in fact I loved it! So this nervousness when speaking has me puzzled.</p>
<p>I have read that public speaking is an extremely common fear. I think many would be afraid to even do it, so you are way ahead of the pack.</p>
<p>I also know from experience (since spouse and I do it for our jobs), that more frequent experience with it will lessen the anxiety. You can also speed up that exposure process through cognitive behavioral therapy if there was a time sensitivity involved (e.g. you really wanted to get rid of the associated anxiety more quickly). </p>
<p>It is funny how it can be so specific. For me it would only take one particular person in the audience to make me feel nervous, even though for the most part I can talk to any group about anything without any physical symptoms. </p>
<p>My kids go to a school where presentations start in first grade, and interestingly, none of the kids have any reaction to presenting later on, since they spend their childhoods doing it. I also insist on my freshman making lots of presentations in first semester, especially impromptu ones (again to try to get them more comfortable early on, so they aren’t so anxious for the rest of their business degree and career).</p>
<p>I can speak to groups, large and small. But I can’t handle being WATCHED doing anything. Even when tech support is in my office and says type in your password, I flub the typing because it makes me nervous. I don’t like to drive with others (non-family members) in the car.</p>
<p>My H sings professionally and all of my kids are musically talented. I can carry a tune but don’t have a good voice. Once, the children’s choir director asked our family to sing at some children’s choir directors meeting. It was the kind of song that had a verse for dad, for mom and for each kid. Okay sure. I pictured a little chapel with 20 strangers. NO. A large packed sanctuary and I knew lots of people there. Beforehand, I was genuinely sitting there praying for the rapture.</p>
<p>This is a common dilemma. For me, practice helps a lot, adding confidence while decreasing sensitivity to content. Also, some people benefit from doing breathing exercises or meditating. I know people who have successfully used coaches for public speaking and CBT can work also. There are groups that address this issue (perhaps Toastmasters?). I don’t think it is always a bad thing to convey passion, but I totally understand how you don’t want to feel overwhelmed by physiology when you are speaking. Best with this.</p>
<p>I absolutely love speaking in public. I guess I like to hear myself talk! I was extremely shy as a kid, but I discovered that I enjoy public speaking when I took a speech class in high school. Now I joke that I can speak anywhere, any time, to anyone. It came in very handy when I worked in financial aid. I don’t know why it is so easy for me … if I did, I would share the secret. One thing I do NOT do is memorize anything. That would be counterproductive for me, as I am not a good memorizer. I often outline important points so that I don’t forget to mention things, but I never write text.</p>
<p>My friend doesn’t like to speak in public. She finds that a bit of alcohol helps! ;)</p>
<p>So much of the nervousness associated with public speaking has to do with control of two basic systems: your heart rate and your breathing, especially because they naturally speed up under stress. While you can’t purposely lower your heart beats, you certainly can control your breathing. (In fact, if you get really nervous, you may even say to yourself to hurry up and that makes it even worse!) You know how some speakers start out by telling a joke first? They may even say that’s one way to loosen up the audience, but actually it helps you de-stress AND gives you a minute to control your breathing.</p>
<p>With your breathing under control to a point that it feels more normal, your heart rate will go back to normal and before you know it, you’ll be involved in whatever you’re talking about. Focus on that, instead of “oh I hate this…” Soon enough, that initial nervousness goes away.</p>
<p>Does anyone else have this problem: When I get nervous about public speaking somehow my saliva gets thicker and I feel like I’m getting bubbles in my mouth. If i have water at hand it’s not a problem but if there’s a new situation (called into a meeting suddenly) and I’m nervous about the outcome, I often don’t talk because I’m afraid of having bubbles form around my teeth (OK, I’m now officially “out” as a crazy mom…)</p>
<p>^^ Lol, no. I don’t get mouth-bubbles, but I do get flop sweat. You know, that lovely Nixon-esque look. For me, the worst part isn’t even the sheen; it’s the trying to pretend it’s not happening, and feeling like the other people are wondering, “What the hell is wrong with her?”</p>
<p>Kelsmom, were we separated at birth? I thought that I was the only one who felt this way!</p>
<p>I took every speech related class (4 of them) offered in my HS ( possibly why I am such a lousy writer, I was talking and avoiding the writing classes).</p>
<p>One thing I do when I speak in front of a group is that I pretend that I am just talking to a group of friends. I look directly at one person, catch his/her eye, smile and speak as if it is one on one. I do this for a sentence or two then move my gaze on to someone else.</p>
<p>I didn’t mention I was nervous, but I think it was noticeable- ( I had to hold the mike, my hands didn’t shake & I stayed on topic, but I think more practice would have helped)
I had notes, but just enough so I remembered the points I wanted to make.</p>
<p>I think singing was easier, because then all I had to remember was the words- plus I think singing comes from another part of your brain- at least I’ve heard that people who stutter, don’t when they sing.</p>
<p>I don’t really stutter, but I have great empathy for those who do, it felt like my throat was closing up.</p>
<p>And don’t forget, all the typical nervousness symptoms are amplified because you didn’t get any sleep the night before as you were lying awake worrying about the upcoming speech.</p>
I was extremely shy as a kid, but I discovered that I enjoy public speaking when I took a speech class in high school. Now I joke that I can speak anywhere, any time, to anyone. It came in very handy when I worked in financial aid. I don’t know why it is so easy for me … if I did, I would share the secret. One thing I do NOT do is memorize anything. That would be counterproductive for me, as I am not a good memorizer. I often outline important points so that I don’t forget to mention things, but I never write text.</p>