<p>My senior daughter was aghast when I half-jokingly suggested her 9th grade brother in case any of her friends needed a prom date, but maybe I wasn’t as crazy as I sounded. </p>
<p>For Would-Be Cougars, the Prom Is a Good Start</p>
<p>“Call it young cougars, a game of confidence or just female empowerment, but the unthinkable during my high school years is now happening all around me and other mothers of my acquaintance. A growing number of our teenage girls are unabashedly showing their preference for younger boys, saying they are not only more respectful than their older counterparts, but generally nicer to date.”</p>
<p>His freshman year, S went to prom with a group of freshmen boys and junior or senior girls, all from orchestra. Several of the guys in his class ended up dating girls 2 years older than them. </p>
<p>Men have frequently asked out younger females. I don’t see an issue?</p>
<p>Two years between the kids when they’re all in HS doesn’t seem “predatory” in the least. My neighbor and his brother who was two years younger both went to the prom. Older brother’s GF had a friend who had recently broken up with her BF & needed a date. They thought it fine for younger brother to fill in. I believe he was a freshman & she may have been a SR. They borrowed S’s band tux so that no one had to pay $100-200+ for a tux rental. S rarely used it. They borrowed it again the next year as well. The GF was a year older the the older brother as well. Neither the parents of the boys nor I thought it was particularly “weird” that they were all going.</p>
<p>Another friend had her date flake out on her at the last minute and was stuck trying to figure out what to do. Her buddy got her cousin in another state to fly over from college to escort the friend to the prom. Everyone had a nice time and appreciate the gallantry shown by cousin. I really don’t think too much should be made of proms or prom dates. Am glad that these women are having a nice time at the events and attending with people who treat them well. Sounds like the young men are also enjoying the experience–don’t even see why it merits an article–perhaps slow news day.</p>
<p>Junior and senior guys routinely ask freshman girls to prom, leaving the girls in the junior and senior classes with fewer guys to ask them. It’s less an issue at schools where the students primarily attend in groups. </p>
<p>I see nothing “wrong” with the junior girls asking younger guys, but I do see something wrong in referring to the girls as “cougars”.</p>
<p>My son went to a junior prom as a freshman “friend” date, and this year a freshman boy went with a junior to my son’s junior prom. There was nothing creepy about it, as is implied by referring to the girls as “cougars.” In both D’s and S’s high schools, many kids have friends from different grades. And sometimes the age difference isn’t even that much, with some boys entering kindergarten later.</p>
<p>Just another example of an unfair double standard. When boys do it, it’s normal and when girls do it, it is somehow made out to be a character judgement.</p>
<p>I agree that it’s a double standard to label girls with a sexist term like “cougars” when they’re doing something that’s always been acceptable behavior for men.</p>
<p>9th grade boys, and girls, vary hugely in maturity. More than that, the article isn’t even about jr/sr girls having relationships with freshman boys, it’s about girls who aren’t in a relationship choosing the younger brother of a friend or another freshman. It lets both kids have a fun party, and to avoid the complexities of “dating” someone in your own social set when you aren’t interested in a relationship with them. A win/win situation.</p>
<p>This is the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a long time. My boyfriend went to prom 5 times… every year from freshmen in high school until freshmen in college. Freshmen-junior years were obviously with someone older than himself. I know all of his dates and none of them are “cougars”. Instead, they’re just friends and friends transcend age boundaries. </p>
<p>When I did theater, it was very common to be friends from people of all age groups. I was surprised as a junior/senior when some of my male friends were freshmen/sophomores because they were very mature- physically and mentally. </p>
<p>Throwing a label on these girls is just wrong.</p>
<p>Anyone ever read The Perks of Being a Wallflower? This is simply an anecdote from the book, but Charlie and Mary Elizabeth date (and she thinks it’s serious) and she’s a senior and he’s a freshman… He treats her very well, even when she doesn’t seem to value his opinions – while Sam (female, a senior) is dating a college guy, who doesn’t value her and sleeps around with other women… Maybe the aforementioned theory has some truth to it?</p>
<p>I don’t think freshman females or males should be going to a junior senior prom unless they are that age for some reason. There is a huge difference in ages. Yes, it happens a lot but I don’t think it 's a good idea. DS’s school did not permit freshmen to go to the prom. Sophomores and juniors permitted only with seniors, and there was only a senior prom.</p>
<p>D1 took sophomore guy to senior prom. He’s ridiculously intelligent and was in many classes w seniors, so he knew the entire group they went with, so it wasn’t odd.</p>
<p>Labels are so wrong. I think the author just slapped the label “cougar” to get readership. Too bad that some folks have such a low self-image that they allow themselves to be treated badly by folks around their age that they “date,” for any reason. This is the issue that really needs attention, NOT a silly and inappropriate “cougar” label.</p>
<p>If the HS thinks it is a problem, I know of some that have set up rules about who can and cannot attend its functions. I think the persons(s) not attending the school have to be within a year or two of the age of the student attending; if you attend the same school, you have to at least be in HS. Not sure if there are more rules as well.</p>
<p>In our area, many boys start kindergarten late to give them extra time, but not as many girls do. By high school, it would not be unheard of for a junior girl on the young side in her class to be the exact same age as a freshman boy who had red-shirted.</p>
<p>My S2, a “redshirt” freshman last year, went to the prom with a senior (their school mascot actually is the Cougar, incidentally.) Anyway, she’d just broken up with her boyfriend, who happened to be one of S1’s long time best friends. I wasn’t in favor of it but H talked me into it. It was trouble from the word “go.” She moved on to S1 to try to get back at her ex. S1 is still trying to rebuild the friendships this girl helped ruin, and yes, he bears responsibility for his part in it, but I wish I’d put my foot down more firmly in the first place.</p>
<p>Fwiw, a bunch of local seniors ask freshman and soph guys for a completely different reason; the girls want the upper hand in doing the “asking” and it’s an unspoken custom that the senior attending ( male or female) does the “asking”…by inviting a younger classmen, it eliminates the senior girls waiting around to see who is left standing…</p>
<p>Recently, I knew of two seniors who were friends who wanted to attend together; both were waiting for the other person to “ask”…ended up not going together because the girl got tired of waiting and asked a junior boy…</p>
<p>It’s really just a numbers game; “cougars?”…um no…</p>
The GF was a year older the the older brother as well. Neither the parents of the boys nor I thought it was particularly “weird” that they were all going.</p>