<p>He was the one who called her parents to tell them she was missing. He gave a DNA sample. He spoke with the police and, I believe, with their private investigator. He submitted to a polygraph. They interviewed his father and looked at his phone records.</p>
<p>But he “lawyered up so quickly”? If YOUR kid were the sig other of a person who disappeared and was thought dead and the police were questioning YOUR kid about their movements and requesting DNA samples and so forth, are you telling me you wouldn’t get a lawyer, pronto?</p>
<p>Okay. Clearly nothing short of all four guys immolating themselves will be enough.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, unless an adult WANTS help with an addiction (especially one that does not include illegal substances), there’s not much anyone can do for them.</p>
<p>I am not seeing what is so heroic about calling her parents to say that she was missing. If he truly wanted to do something special, he would have called them before she disappeared. </p>
<p>It might have helped, it might not have. Now we will never know. But in that event he could look himself in the mirror and know that he did everything potentially helpful that he could think of for “the love of his life”.</p>
<p>The same thing goes for the other boys involved. I doubt that they killed her or disposed of her body. I do think, though, that they could have, should have done more to help a human being right next to them who was obviously in great distress.</p>
<p>I didn’t say it was heroic. I said that he did all these things, was clearly very cooperative, and yet is being criticized for getting a lawyer.</p>
<p>I’m not drawing any conclusions as to what happened. Our system gives the young men the right to “lawyer up” and refuse to take a polygraph. They should not be criticized for those decisions. The law also gives her parents the right to sue the young men, especially the two who were over 21 and provided liquor to Lauren, who was a minor, and who continued to do so long after she was intoxicated. By suing, Lauren’s parents will be able to have an attorney ask the young men questions under oath. Our system gives them this right. I don’t think they should be criticized for availing themselves of the opportunity.</p>
<p>If you want to change the law so that people over 21 who serve liquor to minors can’t be sued, fine…fight for that. If you want to change the law so that someone who serves liquor to someone who is visibly intoxicated can’t be held accountable, fine, fight for that. But as long as we have both those laws, I don’t think Lauren’s parents should be judged for suing the young men.</p>
<p>The suit against the third young man is “iffier,” I think. However, the young man has a right to try to get the case against him dismissed at the outset and I assume his lawyers will do so.</p>
<p>As for the boyfriend, I don’t think the criticism is that he got a lawyer. The criticism is that his parents hired someone to give him a polygraph rather than having him take one administered by police.</p>
<p>Rereading the preceding posts, I see that the words to which I was referring, to the effect that “he lawyered up too quickly,” were removed after I responded to them. My rebuttal makes little sense without that context. </p>
<p>That happens sometimes in a fast-moving thread. :)</p>
<p>The BF could have his own problems that he may not be aware ofi.e., he is addicted to the addict. Confrontation must be difficult between him and the GF regarding her addiction.</p>
<p>I have a sister who was an alcoholic since she was a teenager. Everyone tried to help. Constant rehab cost my grandmother copious amounts of money but our efforts were futile. Up to now, she is still an alcoholic and at some point I got tired of her constant requests for money from me and calling me up at wee hours of the morning to moan about a problem she came up with. It didnt matter to her that I was a mother of young kids and I had to wake up in a couple of hours to go to work. I gave up being a cheer leader. I guess what Im trying to say is even if everyone tries to help above and beyond what they can afford whether it be time, money, emotional support, the desire for change ultimately has to come from the addicted individual.</p>
<p>I agree that the addicted person needs to want to change. However, I don’t see that need as a valid reason to do nothing whatsoever when one comes across a person in severe distress. It does not justify serving an obviously intoxicated person more alcohol. It is not an excuse for allowing a person in severe, drunken distress to walk out alone into the 4:00 a.m. night.</p>
<p>It may be that, ultimately, Lauren’s parents could not have helped her. Reaching that conclusion, however, in my view should have been the last step in a process of people trying to bring Lauren to see reason and ask for help. It should not be a patently self-serving first step that excuses anyone who claims to love or care about an addicted person but has done nothing whatsoever to help that person.</p>
<p>And not telling the girl’s parents that she had a problem is not really grounds for the parents to turn around and sue the boys. It takes an adult maturity and alotta years for most friends to turn around and tell a friend they have a problem. These were college kids. The parents are suing the boys in an attempt to see if the boys know something they haven’t shared with the criminal system. And my guess is the boys parents (or the boys since I don’t know how old they are now) will turn around and sue the Spierers for their legal defense costs…so sad.</p>