My #1 micro pet peeve is the cupboard door thing. The cupboard over the coffee pot has two doors that open up. He’ll get a cup or bowl out then with two hands close the doors together about 2/3 of the way closed. So it isn’t laziness - he is actually taking two hands and closing them, just never all the way. I don’t understand this at all. It would take no more effort and make a whole lot more sense to just go ahead and finish the job while he’s at it. In the scheme of things it doesn’t really matter but probably bugs me all the more because it’s not even energy or effort saving on his part.
My larger pet peeve is that we have opposite ways of communicating information. I like things front loaded. Tell me the punch line. Why does this matter? Give me the facts up front then you can fill in with the back story. I don’t want to listen to 15 minutes of backstory to try to figure out if there’s a point. Bottom line me. I have almost trained him out of telling stories using “voice overs” of each party involved. Then he said, “blablablablabla,” and I said, “bla bla bla,” then the guy remember who I was telling you about his wife . . . (10 minutes later) . . . said, “blah blah blah,” then the general came, this is the new one, remember who I worked with last week . . .
All the dialogue is done in simulated voice. It drives me flipping crazy!!! Just cut to the chase, already. What actually happened?!!
^ I have a friend who does that. A 2 minute story becomes a half our story with every unnecessary detail and side digression. Get to the point!! Bottom line!!
Eating VERY slowly.
Whenever we eat with friends, he stops eating when having a conversation so when everybody is finished with their food he has hardly started eating.
Very often, he has to eat a second meal when he gets home.
My husband has very few annoying habits, and I dealt with most of my annoyance by insisting we have separate bathrooms. (Bad toothpaste tube squeezing; not rinsing the sink; running the water while he’s brushing his teeth (for hours, it seems); leaving towels on the floor… all of it goes away with a nice thick door.)
I was astonished by the improvement in my quality of life when we moved to a house with a laundry chute. DH seems to positively enjoy delivering his laundry down the chute! What a nice change from the random socks all over the house.
Now if I could just teach the dog not to click his nails on the floor. Yes, he does it deliberately.
OK, I haven’t seen this one yet: my DH talks out loud while driving about what’s happening on the road. Someone goes in front of him and he makes a comment like, “Well, I guess YOU couldn’t wait!” He goes through a very yellow light and comments about how it was still yellow. It’s very annoying but even more so when either I’m talking and he interrupts or the kids are in the car and he interrupts some engaging conversation (during which NONE of the rest of us are watching the road) to comment on his thoughts/experience while driving. This sometimes extends to whatever’s on his mind (not when driving) and he interrupts someone who’s talking to comment on something unrelated.
Having said that, I have my annoying behavior as well, I’m sure. A few years ago, DH mentioned I left kitchen cabinets open. I would have sworn he was wrong but, when he pointed it out a few times in real time, I saw he had a point. I’ve worked hard to make sure I close all cabinet doors now.
My MIL eats VERY slowly cbreeze. It drives me CRAZY if we are eating at a restaurant. I basically refuse to go to one with her now. Luckily, she actually prefers to stay in and get take out when we visit now.
Another thing H does is to leave the radio or whatever he is listening to in the car on when he turns the car off. We do not have his and her cars. We both drive the family cars. He listens to his music very, very loud. So when I start the car, I am blasted with sound. What is worse is that our satellite radio is blocked in our driveway and doesn’t come on until I have driven a few blocks. One time it came on so loud and suddenly I thought an explosion happened outside the car. My reflex was to kind of cover myself. I actually could have had an accident. I told him this and yet be still does not turn the darn thing off!
I managed the money when we were married and got a sizable inheritance – and I still wouldn’t have made a $900 purchase of any kind without discussion,
We ALL have our bad habits collage1 and others, but this thread is where we get to gripe about our spouse/SO/partner!!
On the highway my DH likes to drive in the left lane. Mind you, he is not always the fastest car on the road. ‘Drives’ me crazy! @-)
@bookmom7, no offense to your DH, but you are runner up.
I do NOT understand the reasoning of the slow left lane drivers!! STOP IT!
Ha, my spouse complains that I have the tendency to do this. This might be the reason why I often go off the topic on CC.
I talked about a seemingly unrelated topic because I intended to provide ALL the “supporting evidence” for my main point yet (to “build my case”) – but occasionally I forget what my main point is altogether after I have given out so many related or potentially unrelated (done so accidentally) details.
It is somewhat like the previous Presidential candidate, Rick Perry, who said he wanted to talk about 3 points, but after he had talked about 2 points, he forgot what his third point is.
Not all people can articulate what they want to say equally well.
No wonder my son does not have patience to listen to what I have to say most of times. At one time, he could not get into sleep at a hotel (during winter storm.) He called us and asked me to get on line. Sure enough, in 5 minutes, he became sleepy. You could hardly find a person as “boring” as me.
Before you condemn us, think about whether there’s a left exit coming up within the next few miles.
Those of us who don’t have the skill to drive in the left lane have to drive in it anyway if we’re getting off at a left exit. I don’t think we should have to miss our exit because you don’t like the way we drive.
Haha, I do this, and my husband does it too. Sometimes we’ll be having a conversation in the car, someone in the street will do something, and we’ll both pause the conversation to yell at the person on the street (not actually, we’re just yelling in the car). I do it when I’m in the car by myself during my commute too.
Also, one doesn’t have to have skills to drive in the left lane. One just has to go faster. A left exit is one thing, but there aren’t that many left exits where I’m from - just lots of people who are doing 45 mph in the left lane on the freeway.
DH is not so much building an argument as going the Native American story telling route weaving his characters and setting the scene. It is not unheard of to have a few animal calls in there either. That’s all well and good if you are sitting around the fire telling stories for entertainment but if you have important information to impart just do it. He also tends to give the same background information every single time about his co-workers as if I don’t remember the guy from the last 4 years of stories. It’s the “in case you’re just joining us” version of what happened at work.
Aside from Marian’s comment, the real trick is to drive in the middle lane. Everyone thinks the left lane is the fastest, so it’s usually more crowded, ha.
Drove me nuts for years how DH and my BFF would repeat inane jokes, over and over and over. They were giggling and I finally would leave the room. Why did the chicken cross the road? They stopped for a couple of years, then we all had kids and the whole dang thing started again. I was outnumbered.
First of all, in DFW we have very few left exits, so most people driving slow in the left lane do not have that excuse. In the rare case where there is a left exit, it’s not a circle, it’s just a a merge left, so still no excuse.
In general, the left lane is a passing lane. If you are driving slower than the general flow, you are NOT passing. Get out of that lane and get to the right. It’s actually the law.
Wow, I was not going to participate, thinking that this thread would die out, but here we are still. DH drives me nuts with certain things. He always has a glass of wine or two when he gets home from work. No problem, but I have asked him many, many times to put his glass that still has wine in it, out of the way, like on the kitchen counter towards the back of the counter. The other day, I took a wet sponge out of the sink to go wipe off the table, and immediately swung my arm around to walk towards the table. I knocked his glass of RED WINE off the middle of the counter, it shattered on the floor, throwing shards of glass everywhere and red wine everywhere, including on our wallpaper. Of course, he blamed me for “not looking first.”
He buys clothes. He buys clothes he doesn’t wear. He buys things on sale, thinking that he will wear it. He has at least a dozen or more suits, brand new, in various closets around the house. He bought them, presumably, intending to wear them at some point, but his office long since went “business casual.” He buys short sleeve shirts and long sleeve shirts and sweaters and slacks, and shorts and bathing suits. He leaves them in GAP bags and Banana Republic bags all over the house. I went on a treasure hunt last month to round up all the bags, carefully took all of the brand new, unworn clothes out of the bag and laid them all out neatly on a couch in our extra bedroom. They’ve been there for a month. I just wanted him to see all the new things he had, hoping that he’d stop buying or at least wear something new rather than the same shirt he’s been wearing for 17 years.
He leaves the light on in our computer room. He says he’s “going back in there.” Half hour later he’s not in there and I turn it off.
There’s so much more and we are (mostly) happily married for 38 years.
Regarding post #70, I found some post elsewhere about a husband avoiding calling his wife by her name. (It is the Japanese culture he referred to. Not a result from any serious research though.)
"In Japan, many husbands call his wives “Mother,” or “Mama,” once they have a child. Even when they are alone, some couple call each other, “Mama” and “Papa.”
Personally, I don’t like it. For their kids, of course they are their father and mother. However, they still have been husband and wife. They shouldn’t forget their own relationship, even after having a baby.
The other day, I told my American friend about this, and her reply shocked me.
“Why do you say ‘in Japan?’ It’s common in any countries.”
I was very surprised because I had always believed that American (and other Western) couples would never call each other like that.
My image of American couples is like this.
They don’t let their baby sleep in their room. They enjoy going out for dinner or parties by their own, hiring a babysitter for their baby. They call each other their names or “honey,” “sweetheart,” or something. They love their child, but they never forget the romantic feelings for each other. "
Ok…for the person who wondered what our spouses would complain about…I asked DH. DH’s complaints about me…
-
he hates the way I park. I think that as long as I’m between the lines and not too close to a neighboring car, then I’m fine. H wants me to park perfectly centered.
-
he says that when I have to follow him in my car, I lag back too far, but if I go first and he has to follow me, then he says that I drive too fast (I don’t drive too fast…I haven’t gotten any sort of ticket since 1981.)
-
I have too many clothes…and my yorkie has too many clothes.
But, H is also guilty about her clothes. -
I have TOOOOO many shoes
-
I have too many jackets/coats.
-
I have too many purses.
-
I leave things in my car that I want as needed (sweater, water bottle, umbrella, etc). He hates having anything left in a car or trunk.
-
I spoil our pets. In his next life, H wants to come back as one of my pets. (That’s fine, I have a muzzle already picked out.
) -
I have a terrible short term memory. If I don’t write down a shopping list, I’m in trouble. I can’t just go into the market for 5-10 items and remember each needed item. I could rattle off a list of 20 items and H would remember each item (he couldn’t actually FIND them in the store, but he’d have the list memorized.
) -
I have an awesome long term memory. This REALLY annoys him…ha ha!
-
I like to have many aspects of our vacations figured out before we go. This is foreign to H since he’d just show and then find out that the museum is dark that day. He thinks I’m crazy.
-
He says that I “hog” the blankets but I really don’t. He throws them off (onto me) when he gets hot while sleeping.
-
I like to bargain shop. This annoys H because he’d rather spent 10X as much and get the heck out.
-
I want every luxury option available on my car. If there is a bell or whistle offered, I want it. H would be happy if he only had freakishly cold A/C blowing on his face.
I’m guilty of nearly all of the above.