My list
Husband - Absolute Bestest friend
Sisters - Best friends
A few cousins - Best friends
People with whom I travel and party - Best friends
People with whom I socialize; haven’t yet traveled - best friends
Anyone who’s had coffee or a drink at my house once - friend
If I’ve known your name more than a year - friend
If I met you once - acquaintance
My children and my grandchildren are my heart. The first thing I think of when on waking and last thought before sleep.
In my working years, I would have said it is hard to make and keep friends when you do work outside the home. It seemed to me that the stay at home moms had more time to hang out. Working 10 hour days then running home to be mom, make dinner, etc. didn’t really leave time for girlfriends.
I do think moving frequently would definitely make it hard.
My sister is tops. I’m still the mom to my son, and rarely share anything in my life with him. I hope when his work life is good, and Covid is over so he and wife can socialize, it will improve.
Not being married makes a difference. I think my closest friend is the psychiatrist I work closely with. Then I have my 2 close GFs and my guy friend whom I’ve known since we were 4 years old. I still talk routinely with a GF from childhood and a fellow psychologist I met in training.
One of my GFs has a radically different political view than I. We’ll see each other this week, but it’s tough.
I’m an only. Friends are extremely important to me. The person I consider my BFF I have known since the 7th grade. I have another girlfriend who I have known since my senior of high school when I moved out-of-state. She and I were also college roommates, and we are extremely close as well. I am blessed with many friends, and I am thankful. Of course, I am close to dh as well! And we are certainly friends. I think “best friends” has a different connotation to me. I asked dh, and after a pause he said, “Well - you! You are my best friend!” I asked if he had thought it was a trick question to which he replied, “Maybe.” He couldn’t name a best friend. Not to be sexist, but I think of “best friends” as being a female thing.
No, I would not describe H as a bestie. However, he is one of 2, maybe 3 people in this entire world I can count on for help when needed.
He is not great with emotional support or meeting emotional needs – that’s what I need my girlfriends for!
If I were stranded somewhere in an apocalypse the main one I’d want with me would be H. Very, very close second are my three boys (with wives/GF). Other family/friends come after that and might depend upon how annoying they are when in a crisis.
In the proverbial, “who would you save, but you can’t save all” situation I’d save my three boys and wives/GF first - mainly because they are young. H and I would sacrifice ourselves together, hand in hand.
Same here. He was 19. We definitely grew up together and feel the baggage we have between us is irreplaceable. That is one thing we both consider precious; we knew each other as “kids” when our wants and world views were very simple and all we wanted was each other. There was nothing else to consider as life hadn’t happened to us yet. I’ve often thought that if he goes before I do, I’ll never remarry or even start another relationship because no one can truly know me if they weren’t there for all that came before. I can’t imagine true intimacy without that history, without someone knowing the girl I was and how I became who I am now, the time-elapse of me. With anyone else, it would be something very different.
That may also be why I still consider my high-school/college best friend to be my best girl friend today. She knew me when and has been a continuous close thread in my life. She’s seen the whole movie to date. Only she and DH can ever say this.
DH has two best friends—his college roommate and the husband of someone I clicked with at work in the early 90’s who became our son’s godparents and are our best “couple” friends today even though they live in MA, and we live in AZ. DH and our son’s godfather talk on the phone a lot. Since COVID, they talk almost every day. I don’t do that with anyone. Except for that relationship, I agree with @doschicos that work (and late parenting) never left time for cultivating true friendships, so there are very few people, male or female, that I consider real friends. My Christmas card list is very short.
Yes, my H and I are best friends. We also both have a lot of friends and friend groups- many who have been lifelong friends. I feel very fortunate.
My DH is definitely my best friend. There is no one else whose company I enjoy more, we never run out of things to talk about and he “gets” me. He has the perfect sense of humor to match mine, and I know he always has my back.
Do we disagree? Oh of course, and there are things about us that drive the other one crazy. But he is the person I am closest to on earth.
I do thin about the term BFF a lot and whether people who use it mean what I think it means (sorry Princess Bride). I don’t let a lot of people get real close to the inner me, and I think many women (in my FB feed) use that term to describe someone they go shopping with or to happy hour etc. For me, BFF status would be for someone who knows my deepest thoughts and fears and appreciates me, warts and all.
I have 2 lifelong friends from elementary school who are sisters. We refer to each other as BFFs but obviously they have a closer relationship. We also don’t see each other as much as I would like, because they are both workaholics. But I think I am their closest friend.
I have another close friend who has several sisters and they get together a lot for trips, outings and so forth. So while we are close, I will never, again, be in the innermost circle.
My DH has 4 or 5 best guy friends, and they all fulfill some need. One guy is the best concert companion, one is a political junkie, one is a health nut, etc so he gets everything he needs with this variety of friends.
Yep, we’re besties. But it’s more than that. My spouse is the person I trust most in life. We are very different. Strangely, we met at work at a company that no one would have ever expected me to work for. We are complete opposites. Yet, almost always come to the same conclusion from 180 degree difference. We’ve had no problems raising kids because we are aligned in that sense. We’re also aligned in terms of what’s important in life. We have enough common interests. But also lots of differences. We both like travel. We generally agree about how to spend our money. There isn’t anything that comes between us or one single thing we do. It’s more the speed we like is different. I’m slow and he’s fast.
Though I have to say, I have two other besties (one a friend of 40 plus years) and another from when the kids were born. I would also trust these friends in every regard. More than my sister even. We laugh, we cry, we talk straight about kids and life and what is going on. I also have close friends whom I see on a regular basis and feel like I could trust or confide in. Happily, I have a great network of friends. This is a lifesaver.
My spouse has college friends which are close friends but live far away. He’s lost touch with a couple of great friends due to cross country moves ( theirs). He’s very close to his very large family.
My husband and I met in our thirties and had kids late so we were on a different path than many other peers. We don’t regret it at all. We travelled and had a lot of fun. We had made a little bit of money so were able to make job choices to spend time with the kids. Now that the kids are getting older, we’re ready to do things like travel again. He has more energy in every regard so I hope I can keep up. No marathons for me. I like to sit, read and relax and he likes to go, go, go. Can’t sit still for a second. He’s been talking about kite sailing. Oh brother. There is no way I’m sailing on a kite over the ocean!!! He usually gets the kids to join him on learning crazy things. They are all crazy IMO. I just made reservations for Acadia ( again). They love taking hard climbs and waking up at dawn. Not me. Good thing there’s DNA ( and kids) so parents don’t have to rely on their spouses for everything.
Yep, we’re besties but ying and yang for sure.
Best friends? I guess so. He’s the person who knows the real me. I’ve always been comfortable with him. I don’t have to be my best version of myself. He knows my faults. He loves me anyway.
I definitely don’t have any other people I would consider to be my best friend. He is the one I tell everything. But he does have more friends than me. Part of it is that we live in his hometown. Many have been his friends since kindergarten. But even so, he needs more socialization than I do. I think everyone does, lol.
I was also 19 when we met. He was 23. My first comment to my roommates was “He’s cute, but he’s OLD!” Old at 23. Smh.
DH and I met as freshmen in college. We’ve been together a very long time. He’s definitely my best friend, and considers me his. Nobody knows me as well as he does. He’s a great support, most of the time. We share some interests, but certainly not all. We like spending time together. I don’t think we’d get through covid if we didn’t. Most importantly, he makes me laugh.
Do we argue? You bet, but there’s still nobody else I’d rather be with.
Yes, H is my best friend.
I am varying close to several friends and extremely close to my two kids and several if my sisters.
I would also add (speaking for myself, perhaps others) that not being BFF’s with my spouse is ok with me. It does not signify more or less love. It does not signify more or less caring.
Most of my adult life has not focused on or included what I would call “BFF’s”. I like people ( 
) but am not “chummy” person. But I think I’m a very caring person and know lots of people and can mix with many groups. I’m just not one who needs to have a big “go to” circle.
My spouse is absolutely my best friend. If I had to live the rest of my life with only him, I would be 100% content to do so. He fulfills everything I need/want from a friend. I adore my kids but accept that they have their own lives to live and now that they are launching I won’t be spending as much time with them as I used to. I also have a few close friends, several people I consider good friends, and a bunch of acquaintances I see from time to time.
Definitely–H and I are best friends. Also together since we were eighteen. I asked him and he also said so immediately.
Close would be my daughter, son, and sister. Each is someone i can talk about close and important things, in similar but not identical ways.
My groups of friends have changed over the year. No forever one. I’m a friendly person, but also have loner tendencies, so maybe that’s part of it. H and I can happily spend days where we see no one else. Always happy to have the kids and grandkid visit, though!
Yes, H and are each other’s best friends. We met in college (both engineers) and have a lot in common… including many years of work at the same company. We did a cross country transfer move together many years ago, and that may be part of the bond. Now that we are retired and in social isolation together, it’s a rather convenient arrangement.
So, either being best friends with ones spouse isn’t that uncommon or the answers are self-selecting.
Among your family members and friends, would you tend to characterize their marital relationships as “best friend” relationships?
I don’t think the term “best friend” works. Maybe “most intimate relationship.” Or most all around fulfilling and sustaining relationship. More than friends.
Plenty of stuff doesn’t get shared with a spouse. Not hidden, there just isn’t always the need. Things not germane. BFF is the sort where we laugh a lot, she’s fun, we think alike and our link has been strong from the day we met, in our mid-20’s–but she’s not adept at sympathy or advice. And I’d do anything for her.
With a good spouse relationship, I don’t think you become twinned. It’s a different sort of intertwining of lives, goals, pleasures.
Interesting question. Definitely closest, most intimate long-term relationship is with H, but we are often more like contentious business partners than “best friends.” We have opposite personalities and annoy the heck out of each other. Our friendship is more of an intellectual match–and fortunately we have the same politics and religion.
Being an introvert and having moved multiple times, I don’t have a lot of close friends I keep in touch with. I do have a twin sister and a sister who is only one year older. We don’t live near each other, but talk about every week or two. Well, at least once a month… They are definitely my best female friends, though we have very different lives. It’s a blessing to have sisters!
My two oldest kids (S and D)are married, but I have no idea what their relationships with their spouses are like. I’ve seen the spouses very few times and both couples live far away. I’d guess not best friends.
They all seem to have a number of same-sex friends. I do think that being a spouse is something separate and much more (higher/more complex relationship) than being a friend, so it is hard to compare.