Every year I do a bit of a cleansing and uncluttering. I give most away on our town’s local “buy nothing” social media page (where people list things they no longer need or ask for in search of’s).
However, there are some things I have had a harder time parting with in the past. In particular, certain kids toys and clothing pieces. I know that this stems from my kid’s ex-stepmom getting rid of all of their baby items I had stored at the house (including coming home outfits, NICU quilt, and even my ultrasound photos). I probably have about 6 bins of kids items I just can’t part with in the basement.
For my husband (I am remarried), he hangs on to some items from his late mother (totally understandable) and some more expensive items from past hobbies (which he hasn’t done in the 13 plus years we have been together).
Yet every year our spring cleaning battle is our very small shared mini walk in closet. I have no problem donating clothes and shoes I have not worn in years (or that no longer fit either too big or too small). But he just will not let go of his wardrobe! He lost 60 lbs after we met and has kept it off for over a decade. He has at least 8 sport coats and 12 shirts (after a quick count) that he has not worn since we have been together. I would say about half of his part of the closet are things he hasn’t worn in many, many years. I understand keeping some things but wish that he would at least put them in storage in our basement and free up some space!
Do you have any spring cleaning rituals or any battles at your house?
Oh gosh Yes! Husband has bought thousands of dollars worth of Brooks Brothers shirts that are smaller than what he wears, but what he aspires to fit into.
They take up half of a wall to wall closet!
Now I am a very stubborn person, and usually I win most battles, but this a ridiculous use of storage and just the dust that these old things collect, are driving me crazy! I don’t want to store old things anymore, except the kids baby things. And I have two office boxes of their baby things. Maybe 10” x 12”. So they don’t take up a lot of space. They definitely don’t take up a half a wall of closet!
I just want clean lines in my home. I don’t want to dust more. I find that I can clean and dust for a full day, and I won’t be close to being done.
I’ve been living with this man for over 35 years and most of the time we’ve had a happy time, eating a little too much. So we put on more weight than what our bodies used to look like.
I have explained that our metabolism isn’t the same and that he never really gets a chance to get out to exercise because he always wants to work. He loves his job and he loves training new hires so I don’t know when he’s going to get out and exercise.
So a lot of people will disapprove of this, but I have to do it or we will descend into hoarding…
I just get rid of a lot of it. I donate it, or put it on Buy Nothing, or take it to recycling center. I don’t get rid of stuff I know he is attached to. Example, he had tons of tiny print text books from his college courses. He doesn’t need them. No one will ever look at them again. So I took them to the book recycling bin. I didn’t get rid of all of them. That was two years ago. If he one day notices, I will have no idea where those books are.
I went through 3 of my own drawers this morning and have another small bag for donation.
I could probably slowly sneak a few things to a bin in our basement but eventually he would notice all the open space in his closet.
Here is an idea to try with your husband. I have done this for myself! Put things you haven’t worn or used into garbage bags or boxes and store in another closet, in the basement, in the garage, etc. If you haven’t opened the bag in 2 years, toss or donate. You could even date the bag and commit to just tossing unopened without peeking. 2 years goes by quickly! You could even to 1 year but this might cause more anxiety.
I sometimes think that storing things (like in the basement) is counterproductive - out of sight out of mind! The mentality that “because there is room, we keep it”. Also understand that it is hard to break that mentality.
I mentioned before that since moving we have a three bag hamper in a shared extra bedroom closet. One for H’s dirty clothes, one for mine and one for donations. Because we each see this hamper daily it keeps dropping things in it fresh of mind. We don’t have to pack it up and put it elsewhere - it there, steps from our closets. When that hamper is full we make a trip to a local donation center. I have been more active with it but started noticing my husband contributing too. We even put things in it that are not clothing. Little things around the house that aren’t needed go in there too.
My inlaws give us various odd things – I am fine with just pitching them, but DH drags his feet sometimes. This weekend I am cleaning closets and find a gold-handled cane FIL gave him (*my inlaws are hoarders, so it was most likely one of a dozen bought at auction). “We can pitch this, right?” I asked…and he says well, no he doesn’t want to “deal with” questions about does he love the new cane, isn’t the new cane wonderful, isn’t it great.etc…
I said 'what, are you afraid to tell your parents something noncommittal or even the truth? 'Don’t use it much but it was nice of you to think of me"
And he looks at me sheepishly and says “But my mom yells at me…”
I give away a lot of stuff. But some unused things I do keep in basement (or elsewhere). When doing so, I do like to have it categorized and labelled. When/if I (or others) need to someday get rid of it, it won’t be as scattered/disorganized. I get why others want things gone for good, but this method works for me.
I think for my husband it is that he spend “good money” on some of his clothes but I try to remind him that was 20 years ago. It doesn’t matter to me that I splurged on a nice item years ago. If it doesn’t fit me or no longer is in style (and I haven’t worn it in decades), the money no longer matters.
Oddly, this is the same guy who owns maybe 2 or 3 pairs of “every day” pants/jeans and will wear them for a week or more before washing them. Any recommendation of “hey, I bought you another pair of jeans” is met with “I don’t need anymore jeans, I have a pair.” It’s just so odd to me.
He is also a master packer of tetris and will go out of his way to find the exact same storage bins we use in different colors so he can color coordinate seasons of decorations and other home items. The refusal to purge a bit in our shared closet just perplexes me.
Maybe I am just weird and love getting rid of clutter and reorganizing!
MyDiL’s late mother (and the grandparents) were actual hoarders – like the TV show. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, not the people suffering from it, not their families, not the people left with cleanup. We had thousands of books, hundreds of boxes of newspapers, hundreds of boxes of the things she was unable to part with. And she knew it was an illness, but couldn’t stop it any more than an alcoholic without treatment can. You really do have to practice limits and boundaries or it gets away from you in a blink.
