Spud Muffins!!

[Potato]

Here is my last version of my essay. I tried ironing out all the “issues”. I’m shooting it off today, so please, if you notice anything disturbing, please reply asap

Since I was a youngster, I have always been interested in topics that kids and even adults would find inexorably boring, absurd and yucky. My parents were at one time concerned at this unorthodox interest. I remember myself enraged when my dad decided to turn the channel to watch the Portland Jail Blazers (Trail Blazers) when I was glued to the TV watching a documentary on OPB about crabs. I recall myself when I was 8 running around my backyard chasing and collecting bugs for my “bug hotel” also known as a morgue. This fascination has even got me in trouble. My home use to have bolt action locks; they have been now been banished by my parents. When I was a kid, I would always play with these locks. Everyone in the house would hear this ”Click…Click……Click…Click” everyday for about 10 min. My younger sister would commonly come up to me asking in her baby voice (we were little kids at that time) “Um…… Jahosaphat why are you so weird?” While I still find crabs, bugs and bolt-action locks somewhat interesting, I have moved on to a new fascination: “The potato.”

I am astonished at the various functions a potato can perform. It is arguably one of thee most versatile food product out there! Whenever potato comes into someone’s mind, they immediately think “Uh…. Food.” “The spud” is much more! Unlike other foodstuffs, the potato comes in various names such as tubers, spuds and taters. It has been idolized in toys from the fairly simple “potato cow” to the highly intricate and adaptable “Mr. Potato Head”. It can be used as an economical, effective and highly organic projectile in spud guns and potato cannons. This food product has also been filmed in animated feature films such as Toy Story and is even the most cost efficient organic battery! The potato has also influenced our culture in some ways as well. The potato has given birth to the highly controversial French fry (Or freedom fry, whatever makes people happy) and the potato chip.

The potato did not inspire me to pursue my goals, spark my ingenuity or inspire me in anyway. I did not find any spiritual meaning, intellectual enlightenment or form a deep bond with potatoes; I’ve never met anyone who has nor do I want to be the first. What it did though is make me aware of my unique interest in nearly all fields of sciences and history. It all started when I was about to cook some clam chowder when on the TV a documentary popped up on the History Channel about food, primarily concerning spuds. It covered its significance in Ireland and the development in American culture/eats. While watching this intriguing documentary, my sister came in with a dumbfounded look in her face shaking her head saying something around the lines of, “You freak! You are watching a documentary about food!” She proceeded to throw (softly) a bag of Fruit Loops at my head laughing hysterically as she left the room. That comment made me think and reflect as I begun to have a long 1 on 1 discussion with my brain. “Mr. Brain, you and I have been palls for a long time. We are about the same age and been talking to each other for a considerable amount of time. Don’t you find it odd that we both find a documentary concerning a brown vegetable interesting? You and I both know that most people would turn the channel and spend 30 min to watch people eat goat parts than see a documentary about potatoes.” Before that, I never gave much thought about my unique sense of interest and its contribution to my personality.

When people see a potato, they see an odd looking brown vegetable. I see a potential toy, an energy source, a crop with the most yield per acre and potato salad. When people see a factory, they see an unsightly building that smells funny. I see investments, capital generation, capital goods, innovation and complexity. I have wanted to know how things work and explore ideas. I have been known as being observant and constantly asking questions. Working for Hewlett Packard, I spent the first 2 weeks continually asking questions of my manager and engineer (assigned to work with me) countless questions ranging from how the test equipment works to projected sales of this unit. One of my greatest pet peeves is using equipment and not having the slightest idea how it works. I am always willing to learn and listen which has helped build my creativeness and my ability imagine; I notice and question what is invisible to many. All of these are key characteristics of my personality.

[achat]

<p>I liked this one. I’ve seen other version(s). The only part I found a little cheesy is your monologue with the Brain but if you don’t think it is cheesy, let it be there. By the way, it is ‘pals’ not ‘palls’. I would also use the term ‘one-on-one’ not ‘1-on-1’. I would also change this sentence:
"One of my greatest pet peeves is using equipment and not having the slightest idea how it works’
to
“I hate using equipment and not knowing how it works”.
Simplicity is always better. </p>

<p>Also what is ‘ability imagine’? Don’t you mean your imagination? </p>

<p>The last sentence of the essay could be left out. It does not convey anything.</p>

<p>On the whole, though, if I were to write this essay, I would cut parts of the first paragraph and the other introductory stuff and write more about my personality. But I liked this essay. Good luck!</p>

[achat]

<p>Change ‘I have been observant’ to ‘I am known to have a keen sense of observation’.</p>

[Potato]

<p>Thanks achat for catching those errors… I have a tendency to miss these errors while proof reading.</p>

[Potato]

<p>Common folks. 48 views 1 reply… I need some more feedback. I only got 6 hours to go!</p>

[achat]

<p>Potato, I would expound more on your experience at Hewlett Packard and cut out some of the benefits of potato as a crop if I were you. It’s up to you, though. What questions did you ask your supervisor and what was unusual about the questions, if you have a repertoire of questions (that you remember)…</p>

<p>Btw, are you applying to Stanford?</p>

[Potato]

<p>No, Boston college and boston university</p>

[achat]

<p>Good luck. I think it is a good essay and has potential. </p>

<p>(I thought Stanford because Stanford likes entrepreneurs)…never mind.</p>

[casualresponder]

<p>fix grammar & spelling errors.
first paragraph - 8 = eight, “they have been now been”
second paragraph - thee = the; agreement: someone/they
third paragraph “begun” = began</p>

<p>Reread carefully. Seems a bit rushed. Carefully edit for mistakes.
Good luck.</p>

[Potato]

<p>Yes, I’m not good at catching errors while proof reading my essay. Unfortunately no one close to me wants to read it (former teachers, sister parent). That’s why I have no other choice but to have my friends here in College confidential edit it for me.</p>

[Potato]

<p>2 hours to go!!</p>