<p>I just wanted some suggestions on a narrative hook at the start of my essay.</p>
<p>Yes, I worked with a research team and we found a novel, anti-cancer drug (I won some awards regarding this) that could cause apoptosis in hepato-carcinoma (liver cancer) cells.</p>
<p>I was thinking of something like this:</p>
<p>‘Hey, <my name=“”>, you might have interned in some random govt agency, but that doesn’t mean you saved the whales from extinction or found a cure for cancer’</my></p>
<p>me, ‘I might not have saved shamu from becoming someone’s dinner in the Sushi Den, but I most certainly did find a cure for cancer’</p>
<p>Ok, I agree, I am pretty weak at humor, hence I decided to consult you guys :D</p>
<p>Not to make light of the slaughter of dolphins and whales to start with </p>
<p>Your topic is a serious one, and having a cure for a type of cancer is a serious issue too. How about highlighting the seriousness of some issues in the world at the moment, like whaling, and confirm that you have a resolution for at least one.</p>
<p>Well the thing is, I really do not want to bore the adcom with another generic essay on how serious somethings in life are and what has to be done about them. Everyone does that.</p>
<p>I am looking for a initial narrative hook to get the adcom into my story, where I ll most def. get into the srs part. Get me?</p>
<p>PS: I really do wish my adcom isn’t an Australian XD</p>
<p>remember the best essays are the ones that talk about nothing. Colleges hate when kids talk about how did this, went to africa and did this, hit a home run and did this. Talk about a topic that really can blow their mind away.</p>
<p>there are like a billion compounds being studied at the moment that cause apoptotic effects and anti-angiogenic effects… it’s a question of the effectiveness and toxicity of the poison.</p>
<p>But u must realize the drug I found has SELECTIVE genotoxic propertities against ONLY liver cancer cells. So unlike prev drugs, which simply damage the DNA of any cell they come in contact with, my drug is different. </p>
<p>The potential for chemotherapy without the side effects of loosing hair, nails etc is tremendous. I think u see my point.</p>
<p>and do you know why there are billions? coz scientists screen them in huge numbers and finally isolate 1 or 2 with potential cytotoxic effects. Mine was one of them.</p>
<p>Yours? Or your mentor’s? How did you discover the compound? You’re welcome to be specific in ur answer because I have been doing cancer research for a while now…</p>
<p>The essay should not be about what you did, but rather about what it meant to you, how it impacted your life, how you grew as the result of your activity, and why you found it interesting. The ad coms want essays that tell them about you not your research or a bunch of technical facts. The listing of your awards and/or publications will tell them the significance of your work. Take a look at the Stanford Supp. There are three more essay in there. These are weighted quite a bit by Stanford. Schools like Stanford are looking for creative and interesting students who will contribute to the campus. And beware of anything that may be viewed as offensive. For example your implication that saving “Shamu” is not a worthy cause. You do not need to demean other activities to make you sound better. There is a thread on here by a Stanford student who provides interesting insights from her ad com that she obtained at Admitted Student Weekend picnic lunch. Take a look at that.</p>
<p>hi curious77. your insights are very good. But then again, I always wanted an initial hook before could talk about my subject. Any ideas? </p>
<p>@selectrum: I wouldnt be very detailed, but OF COURSE i didnt discover the molecule all by myself. what I did do it some very good analysis on the molecules and found the best one for treatment. The molecules were artificial, created by another govt agency. I think u know how the shotgun method works, were u simply create a whole library of drugs and test which one is the best just by altering certain bonds within the group. and finally, the ‘good’ drugs r sent for animal studies.</p>
<p>We were using RT-PCR with p53 target gene micro-arrays to test the drug’s effect on mRNA exp on the liver cancer cells, and the analysis was heavily mathematical. apart from my screening of the molecules, performing rt-pcr protocols, performing flow cyclometry, western blotting etc etc, I had to do some real good statistical analysis. u might be surprised, but a lot of ppl here r pretty bad at math. So I helped out with p-value calc, fold-change calc, spectrophotometer reading analysis etc, which was unique in a sense, I was actually contributing to the research with my own help (and not from my mentor’s). and btw, I am not sure abt amerika, but down here, microarray tech is very new. the p53 target gene array we got are like hundred of dollars each and were jus manufactured 3months ago by sabiosciences (U should be knowing this comp xD).</p>
<p>So in that sense, my 4 whole months of 9-5 job was very fruitful and I learnt a lot from it, technically.</p>
<p>I surely cant explain all this in my essay or it will simply bore the adcom to death so I really need to dumb it down. I hope that explains ur question.</p>
<p>Why did you choose to work for 4 months researching this issue? A little introspection will go a long way in helping you find the right tone and message for your essay. Again focus on who you are, what makes you tick, what this effort meant to you, how it changed you. A yale ad com talked about writing the essay on who influenced you. He said the essay should not be about that person but about how that person influenced you (impacted you, changed you, etc). Think of your research in the same manner. My S (admitted EA to Stanford and attending Harvard) wrote his main essay on his scientific research but he told the story about why he did it, what made him start, the impact of the long hours, the satisfaction of the accomplishment, the clarification of his life goals, etc. Not that he discovered this or that. All the best!</p>
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