@abasket - it’s mostly him wanting to do more together. I am most content with more solitary hobbies and am more of a homebody. He is frustrated with me because he’s been trying to get us in a couples league of some sort - from curling to volleyball to, of course, golf. We have one child who still can’t drive so I don’t feel like we can both commit to a league of any sort because one of us needs to be available to drive her (we live rather rural and some of her practices are 45 minutes from our house). We bought mountain bikes last year and I would love to use them more. Our city plans a lot of weeknight and weekend events that I would like to attend, I think it’s a nice mix of being out with people, yet together. He doesn’t seem interested in those or else they conflict with his own league nights. The frustration is both ways at this point.
^^ I see your picture now more clearly. 
Maybe starting with one date night a week or every other week (or once a month - anything is a start!) Alternate who gets to choose what happens that date night. If he chooses “try curling” - then you need to go with a fresh mind and try it. If you choose “attend a cooking seminar” - he needs to go with a fresh mind and try it. A couple hours is not too much to sacrifice. BUT, both need to be cognizant of not choosing an activity that would make the other feel totally out of place or awkward - that just is not nice!!!
The best thing I ever did when the kids were older was to take up golf. You get exercise, especially if you walk, you’re outdoors, it’s very social if you want it to be, and people of various levels can still play together and have fun. It can can be played well into your eighties and some of the happiest couples I know are spending time together out golfing.
Lots of great suggestions here. As we were approaching an empty nest, dh and I took up bridge. We now play in tournaments together. Very fun!
Us too, plus a subscription to an intimate theater. Most successful couplings maintain some sort of date night. We pick a bar for a leisurely drink and sometimes a snack afterward to let the parking clear out. It’s important to be able to talk to each other away from normal distractions.
Things we do together:
Explore wine
The New York Times Crossword Puzzle
One TV show a night - alternating his day (usually sci fi or thriller or yet another Marvel spin off), mine is currently Ask the Midwife
Hiking (we don’t do enough of this)
Going to the gym together every weekend
Board games (mostly though when a kid is around)
Museums
Fine dining (not too often as it’s too expensive!)
We do the main grocery shopping together right after the gym
We both like to read, but the only overlap is sci fi and some fantasy
We should go to more concerts because we always really enjoy them (went to hear Richard Thompson about a month ago and he was fabulous)
My husband is my best friend and we enjoy spending time together. Something we do now is Sunday brunch at home. I also learned to golf. We will binge watch shows together. We boat and jet ski together, I tow him water skiing. We go out to eat. We take hikes through our local parks once a week. We go to movies, shows, etc. I was never a big sports person but now I follow my daughter’s college football. Do you have a pro or minor league sports team? You could go to a game or get season tickets.
I don’t agree with always only doing your own thing.
We cook dinner together, he’s a chopper and I saute.
DH and I visit the local wineries. He loves to taste and I like to walk around the gardens–meanwhile, we spend time together.
We also take bike rides together, although he is a MUCH better cyclist than I am–but we cycle to someplace like a bakery, have a coffee and cinnamon roll (we both LOVE cinnamon rolls), and cycle home. We’ve entered a (short-disance) triathlon together this summer (as a relay team)–I’m the runner, he’s the cyclist, and I roped in a swimmer friend to be our swimmer. Team name: Float, Roll, and Stroll 
We’re pretty much no-pressure. I love running, he loves cycling, so that will be our together athletic event. (While I do enjoy cycling, he really doesn’t enjoy running.)
Every single evening, we take a short walk with the dogs after dinner. Sometimes we don’t even talk, sometimes we do, but it’s a small end-of-the-day ritual.
- it's mostly him wanting to do more together. I am most content with more solitary hobbies and am more of a homebody. He is frustrated with me because he's been trying to get us in a couples league of some sort - from curling to volleyball to, of course, golf. We have one child who still can't drive so I don't feel like we can both commit to a league of any sort because one of us needs to be available to drive her (we live rather rural and some of her practices are 45 minutes from our house). We bought mountain bikes last year and I would love to use them more. Our city plans a lot of weeknight and weekend events that I would like to attend, I think it's a nice mix of being out with people, yet together. He doesn't seem interested in those or else they conflict with his own league nights. The frustration is both ways at this point.
–Do it. Join the leagues with your H. Make the sacrifice.
–Then gently encourage him to do one or more of the things you’ve been wanting to do together.
–If needed, go shopping first. You might not think one thing has to do with the other but it certainly can. Get him a new sport coat at Kohl’s, I speak from experience, that perfectly matches that charcoal colored pants in his side of the closet and the next thing you know he has an excuse to try it on. And when he is feeling good he will have a better time.
–The same for you. I know this isn’t a diet or exercise thread but put yourself on a 6-week boot camp, if needed, and then go shopping for yourself. It could be a new skirt or blouse or heels or whatever. Then shock him with your new look. Hey, if you look good you will feel good.
–Being with people yet together. Exactly. Well put. That is why it is sometimes fun to hang out with another couple near your own age to spice things up conversation and story wise. If one party is the shy one that can be a problem or an opportunity to open up some. But, again, that goes back to feeling good and feeling good goes back to looking good. They go hand in hand in some cases.
–There are some fabulous ideas on this thread.
–Season tickets to lecture series and speakers series sounds really fun.
–You can get discounts on Groupon to just about anything fun. I’ve seen the cooking classes for couples and almost purchased them once but they were obscenely expensive and frankly 85Gonoles$ hates to get ripped off so I passed. Instead DIY. Invite a few friends over or even a single or two you do not know super well and have a date night cook night glass of wine night. It will be fun planning it and doing it. You can get inspiration from magazine articles, if needed.
–The couples cooking class thing is sort of like something you see in movies … but never do. Like that great scene in Ghost where Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze make clay potts. Very sexy scene but I’ve never met a soul in my life who has actually done that with his or her partner.
Can’t you carpool your kid?
@mathmom unfortunately, no. She plays on a club team and is the only one from her school on this team, the others are from several different counties in our state so everyone comes from different directions and meet in the middle. One mom has an hour and half drive each way - her daughter is 16 but she drives anyway so her daughter can rest. I’m not complaining, I usually use those practice hours to grocery shop so it’s a chore either way. The schedule isn’t set in stone though so that’s why I’m hesitant to commit. It’s short term she’ll get her license within the next six months.
Mr. B and I bought a used house. This is our joint hobby, and we spend a lot of quality time together - usually, it means that he stands on a ladder doing something like wiring a light or trimming a tree, and I hold the ladder.
We walk the dog together most evenings. We go to breakfast out most Fridays. We have two or three series we watch together. Those things are constants.
When we retire I expect us to do a matinee movie every week (he loves movies).
How about if he invites some of his league friends back to the house, where you would have cooked up dinner or dessert? You would get to meet his friends and socialize and do what you like (cooking). It would be a smaller amount of time for you with joining in with a bigger group.
It does sound like your husband is an extrovert - and you’re not. If you need a break from people at your house you can disappear for a bit.
I like the idea of trading off activities that you do together, and getting to take turns picking.
H and I have separate interests and a few we do together like skiing and sailing but we are not attached at the hip. We gave up competitve games when dating because we are too competitve. We like to cook together but have completely different kitchen styles so it works sometimes and sometimes not so much!
I’m teaching DH to cook! it was really hard to let him in my kitchen, but it’s going well. We do lots of yard work together, and we run a charity together (he’s operations, I’m logistics). We also have been working on updating the house. Netflix is a good idea for winter. We bought a rowing machine and try to outdo each other (hint, I mostly lose)
You really do have to work at this. Our personal idea of heaven is three hours with a book, uninterrupted, and we took too long to figure out that was not a good thing for the marriage.
I agree. A lot of the work is just being cognizant of opportunities to enjoy each other. For instance, the other night I was reading in one room and hubby was working on the computer in another while listening to music. At one point a song we used to dance to in college came on and I thought, “That’s nice but I’m too lazy to interrupt my reading.” After a few seconds it struck me- “What are you thinking?!” and I jumped up, went into the other room and pulled hubby up to dance. It was heaven and we danced for a good 20 minutes after that song. 
Oddly, DS17’s description of the passages on today’s AP Lit test indicates that a poem was quite relevant to this topic. Not sure how it was relevant to 18 year olds, though.
I’m reading the suggestions, because I need ideas. DH mostly talks about the soap operas of his long-distance running friends’ lives. The people I meet from that group mostly irritate me, especially the ones having affairs with others that they think people don’t know about.
We watch tv together (we enjoy the same shows). We go to church together, eat dinner together, vacation together, visit the kids together. We have a pinball machine & enjoy playing together. We take care of his parents’ cottage together.
My husband and I have some overlap in our taste in music. We go to several concerts every year. We like to go cross country skiing together on weekends in the winter, and in the rest of the year we either bike or go out on our kayak. We like going out to eat. We like some of the same shows. We do enjoy eachothers’ company in general. I would say I am more social and wish we spent more time with other people. He doesn’t mind if it’s just us.
@MotherOfDragons We are thinking about getting a boat too! What size sailboat are you looking at? We both have sailing expeience. In February we took a sailing course in the Caribbean – highly recommended!!