We complain about…er, talk about politics and political figures a lot. Does that count? 
^I hope so because we do too!
DH and I have coffee together almost every morning before work. He loves to golf and I don’t but I’m thinking about practicing so I can go out with him every now and then. I like the theater more than he does but we have season tickets and it’s a “date night”. While we enjoy each other’s company, we also love alone time. He enjoys watching sports and I like watching chick flicks. For that, we have two TVs.
Biking…it’s healthy , fun and so many ways to do it. It can bring you back to nature, show you places you have never seen and the possibilities are endless. If you like history, antiques , beaches, mountains, wineries, breweries, eateries…you can’t lose
H is semi retired. The first 18 months were pretty awful having him around. He tends to think that sitting at the counter in our very open main floor on his laptop or talking on the phone (at one point for 8 hours straight when he decided to do nursing care coverage) was suppose to be ok with me. Talking for 8 hours! in my space.
Fast forward and those kinks are worked out.
He says he does not like to cook but over the last 3 years he has become much more than the sous chef. It was a huge adjustment for me to share my space. I hated sharing my knife so finally got him his own.
He adores community and, well, I really do not enjoy community. I had way too much as a kid.
I am learning Mah Jong and he is able to take my lessons and read the book and does fine.
I would like to find another couple to play with frequently. I think this could become a good thing especially in the winter.
So what we actually do–dinner every night. Long City Hill hikes, hiking on the mountain, canoeing.
I do think that we need one activity --such as golf to finish us off. What that is I have yet to figure out.
H and I play an online game together that involves walking and driving around our neighborhoid, Pokémon Go. We also eat out a fair amount and I run a nonprofit and he does a lot of house maintenance projects. It works for us. We also like traveling together, reading, and watching a very few TV shows.
We subscribe to the community theater that puts on 6 shows/year, opera (3 performances/yr) and our local university football team–we have season tickets with sis, BIL and my folks.
Bunch of stuff hubby and I have started doing since our nest emptied…
- We turned a spare room into a shared office....so when we both go to play on our computers, we can at least be in the same room and have each other handy to see stupid cat memes and be ornery about political BS together. LOL. He likes porn and podcasts, I like net friends and message boards. We both like researching weird stuff and working on creative projects. Live and let live. It's nice to hang out together and take turns bringing each other tea.
- We've both gotten weirdly interested in sex again. Something about having the kids gone....has inspired us to get adventurous and bizarre like when we were young and ridiculous. We're both enjoying a return to silliness. Even if we're both looking a little rougher these days and arthritis throws in a few limits....it's fun to have the whole house to ourselves!
- We both like training dogs. We're volunteer puppy raisers for a service dog outfit. You have to attend a lot of meet ups with other raisers....so it's a pretty cool little social thing to do together. Plus, you get to take puppies into stores and restaurants. How cool is that?
- We fix stuff together...which is a good thing, because something is always broken. Last week we did a brake job on his truck, and today we fixed the washing machine. I typically track down repair tutorials and buy parts, and he's typically the lead mechanic and diagnostician. Sometimes I figure the repair out, and instruct his monkey arms how to tear things apart. Sometimes, we both try and say...nope...and go buy a new one. LOL.
- We both like to put the canoe in the lake and poke around and look at wildlife and bugs and stuff. Add a dog or two and it's even nicer.
- We still love talking about the kid, and talking to her on the phone. Hubby talks to her in the AM on her bus ride to campus, and I talk to her at night most days. We speaker phone it and make it a group thing for the most part. We group text, too. Hubby likes to take photos of flowers and plants and send them to us...which is kind of a fun way to get digital flowers...and kiddo likes it because....biology. We take weird pics from our days and share them in a group chat on our phones. Fun way to stay connected. And of course we look forward to visits home.
- We do the crappy work together more these days. I'll load the dishwasher, he unloads. He'll wash and dry clothes and dump them on the table, I fold, hang and put them away. We take the trash down together, and take turns mowing and picking up sticks and stuff. We'll cook together. Typically, I'm the lead cook and he's the sou chef, but not always.
- We read to each other. We pick a book we both want to read, get it, and read out loud. Often, in the car. Sometimes we just get books on tape. But we both love to listen to books.
- We indulge each other's weird hobbies. Hubby will sit down and paint with me. I'll go outside and shoot skeet with him. He kinda hates painting and I kinda hate guns...but when we do them together, they're not so bad. I think we both appreciate when the other makes an effort to join in our interests.
- We go to haunted houses. I know this one's weird. But we enjoy them. We also go to the theater and drag shows. LOL. We like exploring caves, ghost towns, and metal detecting. We both hate sports....which is good...because I'd rather die than live with someone who watches football. We both like (horseback) trail riding and have agreed it's a lot better fit to rent horses than to own them. He likes Western, I like Huntseat.
- We both enjoy being slobs. Neglecting our home to pursue other interests is something we strongly agree on. I think this single compatibility gives us an advantage over most married couples...who almost universally have an imbalance of priority for housekeeping and maintenance. Not saying we're gross...nothing is unsanitary, and guests always seem comfortable....but we're not American media tidy/sterile people and we're both ok with it. We have plants and pets and projects and stacks of books everywhere. We respect each other's messes...which is nice...cause a lot of people can't do that.
- We both like to garden, and look at meteor showers. We both like fires and fireworks and watching fireflies. We both enjoy sitting on the porch at night listening to frogs and coyotes huddled under a blanket. We both enjoy watching thunderstorms and our stupid pets and dozens and dozens of movies.
- We pick on each other. And laugh at lot. We're both self-deprecating nerdy atheists who stick up for underdogs and try to make the world a little better. Mostly, we just survive life and hold hands a lot. It helps.
DW go to some concerts together and other separately (she like classical and I like punk). We’ll also go to some theater together.
We developed a joint activity called B&B (battlefield and brewery). We hike a Civil War battlefield and then go the nearest craftbrewery/brewpub for a recovery beverage.
The one activity that we do separately is soccer. coaching and administration I coach a bunch of teams so for 8 weeks in the spring and fall, I tend to be really busy and out of the house.
But we are both big soccer fans and watch a lot of soccer together (either live or on TV).
@LBowie catamarans, but not sure of brand or size yet. It’s fun to go to the boat shows together and look at them 
We like different things, but we like being together. He’ll read a book while I work on a watercolor.
I have things I do with my girlfriends, like tennis, and he works out with his guy friends, and I encourage him to go be social with them since he tends to be much more introverted than I am, and maintaining strong social bonds is healthy. Plus it’s fun to come back from whatever thing we went to do and talk about it with each other.
I don’t think there’s any one right way to be, as long as both people are fairly satisfied with the arrangement.
I would try and redefine “do together”. Fiancé likes to fix things. I like to write, which involves fixing things (plot snags, character motivation, dark moment). He does his thing out side in the sun; I do mine hunched over a laptop. We are both happy.
Do those of you who watch TV/Netflix with your spouse sit next to each other on the couch/oversized chair or are you both on your own piece of furniture?
Do you experience this as an interactive hobby? DH becomes totally absorbed in whatever show, whatever channel and gets a bit chippy with me if I try to talk or heaven forbid…pause the TV to use the bathroom.
@MaryGJ , I enjoyed reading about your life.
Be silly, text, flirt, have the same moral compass is good, date nights a must, love people, be intimate, and enjoy life, encourage each other, spur each other on to fulfill dreams, give space when needed, and allow growth.
Works so far 
my wife is a hottie!!
When our youngest graduated from high school, my husband and I found ourselves drifting in separate directions because our joint activities had all revolved around the children. Our solution? Square dancing! I know, I know it sounds really hokey but actually it’s great exercise and a lot of fun. (The dress requirements have changed so that women no longer need to wear the pouffy skirts. Honestly, that would have been a deal breaker!)
We were reluctant at first but now are completely hooked.
I think the great takeaway with this thread is the world is a HUGE, complex, diverse and interesting place-go explore it together before you get old and die!
There are cultural aspects to any pursuit that are really interesting-we had no idea there were regattas, or these events where groups of people get together and sail to a destination together. It’s not just the hobby, it also seems to be the whole lifestyle involved with the hobby that can be fun for both.
Another vote for square dancing–and I love the pouffy skirts! :-bd
My son does contra and swing dancing – loves it.
Square dancing with my hubby…now that might be fun. Square dancing in 4th grade gym class and having to touch the hands of 4th grade boys…Eeeew!
East Coast Swing dancing is also fun, H and I learned how to do that about 5 years ago. It was challenging because I have a bit of a dance background, and he has two left feet. He had to be cool with not being super good at it, and I had to be cool with being patient and going through a lot more repetition than I was used to. Uses a lot of good communication skills.
Your local community center or rec center will usually run these classes, and they are super affordable and usually at night. We’d come from work and meet for the class, then go out and have some ice cream afterwards. They usually are 1x /week for 8 weeks. Date night.
Cinco de Mayo. The wife and I decide to go out and get nachos from a Mexican restaurant. I heard someone talking, just randomly, and heard them say Mexicans don’t actually celebrate Cinco de Mayo. I may have heard that wrong. Not sure. So, anyway, I do a little Google research and find a place with really good Internet reviews for nachos. We get all dressed up. We get in the car and drive to the place. Our kids are gone. One is always gone b/c he is in college but tonight they are both gone out of town so we are practicing our empty nest skills.
We get to the place and she says no before we get there. She knows the place. She patronized a business next to the place, it is a strip mall, a family business, and the times she was there she claims she saw a bunch of drunk men coming in and out of the place so she vetoes it. No problem. I go to plan B. It turns out there is no plan B. I decide to make up plan B on the fly which is to drive down the road and see what happens. We end up in two different suburbs and making a gigantic circle and using about $8 in gas. Along the way she vetoes a bunch of other places because since it is Cinco de Mayo it has to be a Mexican restaurant. Of course. That is a rule. Everyone knows that.
We left a little early but by this time I am basically starving. We end up coming up on the place I wanted to go to in the first place. Since I am starving I’m really lobbying for this place now. I’m going to stop there and we are going to eat there unless she is willing to jump out of a moving car or something. She doesn’t want to go in there. We decide to compromise (this was after I perhaps lost my composure and decide to inform her that she is an impossible to please princess and I not only regret leaving our house tonight but also everything that has happened to me since I met her). She retaliates with silence.
The compromise is I go in and get the nachos to go and we take them home and eat them. So, I go in there. It is a small place. I see a grandmom in the back cooking. I see all kinds of really cool Mexican memorabillia on the walls. I see families and kids enjoying themselves. The place is packed but very small. The other employees appear to the son and grandkids of the grandmom in the back working. I get a good feeling. I like supporting places like this. It turns out, they do not sell nachos. Of course they don’t. Why in the hell would a Mexican restaurant sell nachos? I order six soft shell chicken tacos and two burritos to go. It takes forever and she waits in the car the whole time. I finally get back there and we get the food home and we realize it is enough for three meals for $22. We end up having a great time. It turns out, when you are with someone you love, everything can go wrong and it can still be right. We are not a normal couple but it totally works for us.