steamedrice's Essay Scoring/Feedback Thread

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
41

<p>Hi again uttaresh,</p>

<p>Suffice to say, this was an interesting essay to read – quite a departure from most SAT essays. I’d score it a 10 tentatively. I’ll dispose of my usual review format, because really there’s one major strength and one major weakness of this essay that need to be mentioned.</p>

<p>Writing about sex is a brilliant gambit. Risks like this will score you a 12 on the SAT if you execute them properly. In combination with your usual strengths of voice and language, this would definitely grab you a perfect score except that…</p>

<p>I felt the essay wasn’t responding to the prompt a lot of the time. It focused more on making the sexual awareness argument rather than focusing on the balance between academic freedom and community standards. While you connected the two at the end, it seemed hastily done and almost flimsy. Make sure that everything you write is directly answering the prompt. </p>

<p>Let me know if you disagree/are wondering about any other parts of my evaluation. I hope that I explained my thoughts clearly, and that they’ll help you in your quest to maximize your SAT score.</p>

<p>Richard</p>

42

<p>Hi steamedrice,
I’ve just reread my essay above and found some silly mistake.
“His sacrificed” -> “he sacrificed” (sentence 3, body-paragraph 3)
“major person” -> “major reason” (last sentence, body-paragraph 3) (dunno what i was thinking :D)
i just want to correct them to make you less confused when reading my essay, but please grade it as original one.</p>

<p>Thank you very very much</p>

43

<p>Hi again Junnie,</p>

<p>I see a definite improvement in this essay in comparison to the last one you posted. Don’t worry, I had no problems understanding your essay, and these kinds of minor errors shouldn’t make a score point difference unless they occurred in excess :P. </p>

<p>I would score this essay a strong 10, perhaps higher depending on the graders involved. Here’s a short overview:</p>

<p>Strengths:
+I enjoyed your introduction a lot. It made good use of the CABE structure to introduce and make your assertion, establishing a good foundation for the rest of your essay.</p>

<p>+Three strong examples. Something that stood out to me as being particularly interesting was that all three of your examples, though they came from different fields, had the common theme of heroism.</p>

<p>+Good language use. Your body paragraphs were a good length this time, well-developed but also concise.</p>

<p>Weaknesses:
-Try not to make statements that aren’t supported by your essay. For example, in your conclusion you stated that “this notion is not only true for exceptional people but also for seemingly ordinary ones.” While this may be true, your body paragraphs focused on people who were quite exceptional and thus there’s not really a base of support in the essay for this statement.</p>

<p>-It seems like there are a few minor language errors in the essay. While minor errors aren’t a huge problem, ideally your essays would be devoid of technical mistakes. It’s good that you caught some of them on a second read; perhaps you should leave yourself a bit of time near the end of your essay to do a quick proofread. Another note: “revenge” can be used only as a noun, thus “intention to revenge” and “revenged” don’t make sense.</p>

<p>Overall, your essay writing is a very high level. Like I’ve said before, I believe that a strong 10 is what people should shoot for, and you’re writing at or near that level. Now, try to incorporate time considerations and little language details into the mix.</p>

<p>Let me know if you have any questions or you were wondering about anything. I hope I’m helping you out!</p>

<p>Richard</p>

44

<p>Nowadays nothing is private: our culture has become too confessional and self-expressive. People think that to hide one’s thoughts or feelings is to pretend not to have those thoughts or feelings. They assume that honesty requires one to express every inclination and impulse
J. David Velleman</p>

<p>Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>With the surge of computers, e-mails, cellphones, and instant messaging, our world has become more globalized and expressive than ever before. People are more willing to blog about their entire day on the internet, while others read and share their own thoughts and feelings that travel around the world. I believe people shold not make an effort to keep things private because by sharing ideas, people can learn from each other’s experiences and improve on their own lives.</p>

<p>When I was in the sixth grade, I had so much trouble with multiplying and dividing fractions, that I would dread going to math class every day. I would sit in the back of the classroom because I was afraid the teacher, Ms. Blake, would call on me to answer a fraction problem I hadn’t even attempted because it was too hard. I felt dejected and defeated, until one day I decided to stay after- school for math tutorin so that I may get with help with fractions. That day, I realized that I was not the only one who had problems with multiplying and dividing fractions and from that day forward, I got help from my math teacher and I was able to pull up my math grade from a dysmall C to a well-earned A-. Looking backon that experience, I know that if I hadn’t spoken up about my problems with fractions, I would not have gotten help, and would not have been the confident math student I am today.</p>

<p>When my younger sister , Rose, was nine, she had trouble rollerblading, a skill I had mastered when I was her age. I knew Rose felt horrible because she wasn’t skating as gracefully as she would have liked, so I brought out my old worn skates and assistered her in the fie art of rollerblading. If I had just selfishly kept all my rollerblading tips from her, she would have remained miserable and probably would have quit rollerblading altogether. I believe it is important to offer up assistance when wanted because as humans, we all need help, and sharing ideas with another person can go a long way in helping one improve.</p>

<p>In Edith Wharton’s Ethan Frome, the main protagonist Ethan Frome lives in a quite, small New England town, where the residents there are as cold as the frigid air that permeate there. Ethan Frome wanted to get out of his horrid marriage with Zena and be with Mattie Silver, a younger, more attractive woman than Zena. In the private and upstanding town of Starkfield, Frome had no one to turn to for help, and instead tried to commit suicide Mattie Silver than ask a neighbor for advise in his horrid situation. If Frome had assistance from someone, maybe his situation would have turned out better, which proves that privacy is not always beneficial.</p>

<p>Keeping things private could make problems worse, and it is arrogant to assume thatwe know it all that we do not needhelp from someone. Expressing one’s self can be advantageous and we should not make any effort to keep things private.</p>

<p>Thanks for grading my essay in advance</p>

45

<p>Hi there, thanks for doing this.
I stole this topic from another user, since I didn’t know where to look for my own. I did this without having time to proofread… In 20 minutes via typing. (Rather than the 25 handwritten - do you think this makes a difference?)</p>

<p>I hope it’s good. If it’s not, then hopefully I’ll be able to improve on it.</p>

<p>Do you believe that we can leave the past behind?</p>

<pre><code>While it may be best to leave the past behind, human beings as a whole cannot. Because we focus on the negative more than the positive, it is hard to let the events that we deem “hardships” blow away. When we buy a new car, we only feel jubilation for a few days; yet, when we wreck it, we dwell on our loss for weeks on end. Through literature and history, there are instances where our humanity causes us to ponder about the past.
</code></pre>

<p>In Hosseini’s The Kite Runner, Amir struggles to cope with the past. After he witnesses his friend get raped as an 11 year old boy, he feels sorrow and determination to set things right. He does not care about the golden watch he got on his birthday, or the brand new bike he received, but the instance where he betrays his friend. Because it is human nature to fixate on the negative, Amir continues on throughout his life trying to cope with his shortcomings as a friend.</p>

<p>Much like Amir’s fictional struggle to leave the past behind, Chief Jihag’s struggles with redeeming himself. As a teen in a small Native American tribe, Jihag never really thought about becoming anyone of nobility. Embodying a stereotypical and stupid teen, Jihag raped a young and graceful girl also apart of his tribe. As he became older and wiser, he lived life in disgust of his past actions. It wasn’t until he finally became Chief of his tribe where he finally admitted to what he had done. It wasn’t because he felt so horribly about what he had done; rather, he did so in order to hopefully feel better about himself. His plan ultimately did not help nor hinder him, because ultimately, he still could not let the event slip his mind.</p>

<p>Humanity is not coded to be optimistic. Because of the pessimistic nature that we as humans have, we naturally dwell on what we make mistakes in. While it may have been impossible for Amir or Chief Jihag to cope with their wrongdoings, they serve as perfect examples for people who cannot overcome what they have done.</p>

46

<p>Thanks a ton for reading my essay.
I would like your opinion on this.</p>

<p>I decided to write around 5 developed body paragraphs before hand. Then when I see the prompt, I can just rewrite down my support paragraphs, tweaking it to fit the topic.</p>

<p>what do you think of this? It would save me alot of hassle.</p>

47

<p>

</p>

<p>I had actually used it to try and emphasize Dimmesdale’s feeling of guilt, but I guess it opposes the general flow of the essay.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Copy that. :slight_smile: </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>The main problem here is that I’m from India, and do not know much about restrictions on “freedom” in US high schools. To me, you guys already have every sort of academic religion possible. Over here, for example, we can’t even choose which subject(s) we want to take up - just the main career stream. So, writing about academic limitations in America was difficult to me.</p>

<p>Hopefully, though, they’ll have a more “global” topic on the actual exam.</p>

<p>The main situation that I face right now is that, in some prompts, it is hard to make citations from literature. And though I can write convincing personal experiences, we all know how SAT Essay readers (perhaps unconsciously) favor anecdotes from classic novels and history.</p>

<p>So what should I do there? Should I include a weak example from literature/history or a strong example from personal experience?</p>

48

<p>Thank you so much for doing it for us!</p>

<p>For a variety of reasons, people often make choices that have negative results. Later, they regret these choices, finding out too late that bad choices can be costly. On the other hand, decisions that seem completely reasonable when they are made may also be the cause of later disappointment and suffering. What looks like a wonderful idea at one time can alter seem like the worst decision that could have been made. Good choices, too, can be costly.</p>

<p>Are bad choices and good choices equally likely to have negative consequences?</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>When one needs to make a choice, one sits at a crossroad. Two roads open at that point, but only one of them can be followed. One usually chooses the road that seems safer, shorter, or prettier. In any case, one chooses the road that seems better.</p>

<p>However, one cannot be always sure where the road will lead. It may lead in the same place as the other, but more often it leads to an entirely different place. What surprises that new place offers cannot be foreseen at the crossroad.</p>

<p>When I finished middle school, my crossroad pointed in two directions: the local high school or a high school in the closest city. In the local high school, there would be my former friends and other familiar faces. In the city high school I would be alone among strangers. Obviously, the good choice was my local high school, so I enrolled there.</p>

<p>After a year, my passion for science claimed its right. I wanted to stay all day in the science lab, perform every kind of experiments I read in books and train for future career in science. Things were not that easy though. In my small high school, virtually no student had an interest for science. This is why our science lab was not properly equiped for performing experiments. To satisfy my curiosity, and to prepare for science competition, I had to study practical procedures theoretically. There were many times when I reconsidered my decision to enroll to this high school.</p>

<p>A former friend of mine chose to enroll to the city high school though. We met again recently, so I could hear from her the other side of the story. Like me, she enjoyed science, but unlike me, she benefitted from an equiped lab to practice. Only that she missed so much her family and all the people that made the small town her extended home, that she regretted having left.</p>

<p>When finding this out, I was astonished. I did not know whether to be happy or sad for me, whether to be happy or sad for my friend. Both these situations have their ups and downs. None of them seemed right or wrong anymore.</p>

<p>The place found at both ends of the crossroad proved to be different than we both expected. The two choices, good or bad, gradually revealed unforeseeable consequences. On the long run, none of them was better.</p>

49

<p>Hey steamedrice! Just wondering if you could please do me the favour of grading my SAT essay? I would appreciate it very much. It’s from the BB test 5… I filled up all the space, and this is the exact essay that I wrote in 25 minutes (no edit)
I’d really appreciate any honest feedback I can get, along with an essay score! Thanks!</p>

<p>Prompt: Do we need other people in order to understand ourselves?</p>

<p>People see themselves embodied in other people. Often, a search for one’s own identity begins with the search for another’s. In order to understand ourselves, we must comprehend others.</p>

<p>The people around us act as mirrors. They portray the most clandestine canvases of our minds, that we can only envision through the eyes of others. I consider myself to be a solid example of the impact others have on understanding yourself. For a number of my pre-adolescent years, I pondered the reasons for my mediocre grades in physical education. Was I lazy? Was I utterly hopeless at coordinated activities? </p>

<p>I did not quite receive the answer to these questions until I reached my first year of high school. On the first day of gym class, I walked into the gymnasium, and I could see myself nearly everywhere I glanced. Many of my peers had been struggling in the same ways as I had been. And it wasn’t until I understood their behaviour, that I realized the secret behind my sub-par performances in physical education. It was not that I was lazy. Rather, I did not grasp the importance of physical education in our daily routines, and therefore did not possess the will power to succeed. From that day forward, I have always placed an emphasis on the importance of my personal effort in physical recreation.</p>

<p>The idea of understanding oneself through another is also evident in literature. Throughout the popular Harry Potter series, the protagonist, Harry, is seeking for self-understanding. Growing up with his negligent aunt and uncle in a secluded, suburban house, Harry did not have anyone through which to discover himself. However, upon acceptance at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the peer-enriched environment enabled him to begin to understand himself. </p>

<p>It is common for human beings to have issues when it comes to self identity. However, if we seek understanding of ourselves through others, it is likely that we will be rid of these dilemmas.</p>

50

<p>Hi crisscross,</p>

<p>I’d score this essay an 8-9. I’ll go into more detail below…</p>

<p>Strengths:
+Your writing overall is fairly strong. While you could attempt to incorporate more advanced language use (more sophisticated vocabulary and sentence structures), your style is straightforward and easy to read. </p>

<p>+The examples were well-developed. Each situation was fully described and formed into something that connected roughly with the prompt.</p>

<p>Weaknesses:

  • The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t seem unified. When writing an SAT essay, every sentence you write should be directly supporting or connected to a single overall point. For example, the first two sentences are an interesting introduction to the idea of privacy – but privacy in the technological world doesn’t connect at all to the rest of your essay! Also, your original introduction stated that sharing ideas is good, but your third body paragraph deals with reaching out for help instead of sharing ideas to improve others. </p>

<p>-Make sure you keep your thesis consistently narrow. The introduction was good because you specified the sharing of ideas for improvement, but then you turned it more general in the conclusion by saying “expressing one’s self can be advantageous and we should not make any effort to keep things private.” </p>

<p>-Try to choose historical and literary examples. While personal examples are certainly acceptable on the SAT, SAT essay graders have a strong bias toward historical and literary examples because they demonstrate knowledge. When you do choose a historical/literary example, make sure it connects fully to your thesis (see weakness #1). </p>

<p>Overall, your writing is fluid and flows well; you just need to work on forming a single crystal clear idea and connecting all of your essay to that idea. If you’d like an easy way to write a good introduction, check out my description of the CABE method on the first page of this topic (my response to Quix’s essay). </p>

<p>I hope my advice has helped you!</p>

<p>Richard</p>

51

<p>i did another thread for others to comment my essay but i want ur opinion on this. thanks for doing this!</p>

<p>The prompt is in pg 196 of the college board blue book.</p>

<p>Prompt:
Is deception ever justified?</p>

<p>The essay:
Deception is never justified whether if it is for the good or the bad. Deception is the reason why the world is left wondering with fear and concerns. It is the reason why teenagers can’t trust their friend. It can also be the reason why the world is yet to be peaceful.</p>

<p>Allison Kornet does have a point that most lies are mainly harmless to society. It is also true that some lies can benefit others. However, those little lies that are “harmless” to society, could have an impact on someone’s feeling. For example, your mom makes a pie that is, without a doubt, truly horrible. You then tell your mother that it was the best pie you ever had and your mom becomes so happy. What would happen, then, when someone else tries the pie and claims that it was the worst? Your mom’s feeling would be hurt. It won’t hurt your mom if you told her that pie needs a little more work. She would late improve in pie-making and produce some of the best pies you ever had. If we tell the truth, society would benefit more than receiving a bunch of lies that would make them not improve, as seen from the example.</p>

<p>Deception can lead to mistrust among others. It is considered human to trust other people when it comes down to certain things. How can one trust another if we are lying? How can a teenager view life if their parents tell them that they’re doing good with a D average? How can the world become a peaceful word if countries cannot be trusted? By being honest, one would know that he/she can trust that person whether in an opinion or in a situation.</p>

<p>Those that believe that deception is justified will probably go into a world of uncertainty. The world needs to stop lying for the benefits of others. Deception can never be considered justified.</p>

52

<p>Hi King818,</p>

<p>I began writing my first SAT essays through typing as well. I don’t believe it makes a huge difference; however, as the test draws closer you should practice more handwritten essays. I would score this essay a 9, with more details below:</p>

<p>Strengths:
+Very good job of narrowing your thesis down. The topic, like all SAT prompts, asks a very vague question with a very vague term: the “past.” You narrowed this area down to strongly negative experiences and said that hardships in particular were difficult to leave behind.</p>

<p>+Good use of the semicolon throughout the essay, especially in the introduction where it emphasizes a contrast. </p>

<p>+Examples fit your thesis well. They both were clear examples of hardships that were extremely difficult to let go of.</p>

<p>Weaknesses:
-Be careful of tense usage. Remember that convention dictates present tense when dealing with literature and past tense when dealing with history. In the Chief Jihang paragraph, you said that “Chief Jihag’s struggles with redeeming himself” but then switch to past tense for the remainder of the paragraph. This is highly confusing for a reader, so be conscious. </p>

<p>-Watch repetitive language use. “Ultimately” is used twice in the same sentence; “human nature” was overused. </p>

<p>-Try to balance the development of your examples. The first example I felt was a bit underdeveloped and could have used more detail, while the second example had some unnecessary phrases that could have been cut out.</p>

<p>Overall, it seems like you have a good grasp of how to write a strong SAT essay. You put forth a powerful thesis and chose two good examples to support your point. With refinement and polishing of the language use and overall organization, your score will easily improve. I hope my advice helped you! Let me know if you have any other questions.</p>

<p>Richard</p>

53

<p>Hi cristina,</p>

<p>I enjoyed reading your story very much. I would score this essay a strong 9, but you should know: the conventional “formula” for writing SAT essays is to have an introduction with a thesis, 2-3 examples, and then a conclusion. I’m not sure if you used a different format intentionally, but SAT Readers are very random in their grading of essays that do not follow this format. A reader could potentially grade this essay anywhere from a 3 to a 6.</p>

<p>Strengths:
+I found the story of two separate paths eventually intertwining to be very interesting. It was a powerful illustration of the idea you put forth in your introduction, and it connected well to the prompt’s original idea of “negative consequences” whichever choice you made.</p>

<p>+The highly unconventional format—with numerous, short paragraphs and one long, personal example—is both a wonderful thing and a bad thing. Like I said above, it introduces a large element of randomness into the equation. </p>

<p>Weaknesses:
-I know that you are an international student, but strive to eliminate grammar/idiomatic mistakes if possible. For example “none of them” in the last sentences of the last two paragraphs should be “neither of them” since there are only two items; “enroll to” should be “enroll in.” If this is difficult, don’t worry too much about it; it’s not critically important.</p>

<p>-This is critically important: try to stick with the prompt as much as possible. This sentence: “None of them seemed right or wrong anymore” breaks out of what the prompt asks about. The prompt asks if both of them will have “negative consequences.” While you did describe the consequences associated with each choice, try to connect it more explicitly back to the prompt. </p>

<p>Overall, this essay is difficult to evaluate properly because of its unique nature. However, the main aspect to work on would be to fully understand the prompt, and consistently respond to all parts of the prompt throughout your essay. </p>

<p>I hope this helped you! If you have any questions, or were wondering about conventional SAT essay structure, feel free to post here or PM me.</p>

<p>Richard</p>

54

<p>Hi basketballbabe,</p>

<p>Of course I would be happy to give my thoughts on your essay! I would score this essay an 8-9, explained below…</p>

<p>Strengths:
+You seem like a very strong writer with powerful language use. I noticed several examples of good vocabulary use (clandestine, secluded, negligent, etc.) and your sentence structure was varied throughout. Your style was straightforward and easy to read.</p>

<p>+Your transitions and connections stood out to me. You included a transitory sentence between the paragraphs that improves the flow of your essay, and each body paragraph is explicitly connected back to the original idea. </p>

<p>Weaknesses:
-Try, if possible, to include historical and literary (preferably classical literature, the kind you read in school) examples or examples from current events if possible. SAT essay graders have a strong bias toward examples from these sources because they demonstrate important academic knowledge.</p>

<p>-Try to incorporate a stronger introduction into your essays. Your introduction introduces the topic, but your thesis could be more specific and stated in a more sophisticated manner. I would recommend trying out the CABE structure for introductions. Look on the first page of this topic in my response to Quix’s essay; I go into full detail on how to easily write a strong introduction there.</p>

<p>-Don’t introduce new ideas in your conclusion. Your last paragraph is “It is common for human beings to have issues when it comes to self identity. However, if we seek understanding of ourselves through others, it is likely that we will be rid of these dilemmas.” This does not connect with the rest of your essay at all; I would recommend completely leaving it out.</p>

<p>Overall, your writing stylistically is very strong. Your efforts should be focused on gaining a deeper knowledge about how the SAT essay is written—with a narrow, specific thesis, knowledge-based examples to support it, and the whole essay unified by the one point. With a little bit of work, you can easily write essays scoring 10+.</p>

<p>Hope this helped! Let me know if you have any questions or concerns.</p>

<p>Richard</p>

55

<p>Hi socalsoccerdude,</p>

<p>Don’t worry about a score right now. It seems like you’re still early in the stages of preparing for the SAT writing exam, but I will try to provide as much advice as possible to help you on your way.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>To start out, you want to work on writing a strong introduction and choosing good examples. To write strong introductions, I would recommend following a simple formula: the CABE formula.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Here’s a very simple example for this prompt. Some believe that selective dishonesty can avoid negative emotions (CONTRADICTION). However, the power of honesty takes precedence over hurt feelings (ASSERTION). Deception can lead to mistrust among others and cause fractures in society. (BECAUSE) This is evidenced by…(EXAMPLES, historical and literary)</p>

<p>To get a better idea of how to write the essay, look through the example essays in the Collegeboard books and think carefully about how they are organized and structured. And PRACTICE. Without practice and knowledge, you won’t get anywhere. With practice and knowledge, you can get anywhere.</p>

<p>If you have any other questions, please feel free to PM me. I hope this helped you.</p>

<p>Richard</p>

56

<p>@Sriacha:
While I wouldn’t recommend that course of action to everyone, I believe it could potentially be effective. If it makes you feel more comfortable with the SAT essay, then by all means prepare like that. However, I must caution you to be very, VERY careful that all your points are directly connected to the prompt and that your thesis is consistent throughout. </p>

<p>@Uttaresh:
I didn’t consider the cultural implications of that prompt. Thanks for enlightening me. :slight_smile: As for your question, it really depends on the relative strengths of the examples, but writing a personal example is perfectly fine if a literary example isn’t viable. If you wish to write a literary example, I’d recommend reading some plot summaries of classic novels on wikipedia (I personally don’t believe a deep reading of the book is necessary for the SAT essay). Many of those could be adapted to a huge variety of prompts.</p>

<p>Hopefully this helped you guys. Let me know if you’d like to discuss any further.</p>

57

<p>Everyone:</p>

<p>I’m taking tomorrow off from this thread, as I’ll be busy with various activities. If you have any other essays to post, however, go ahead and post them and I’ll read them on Sunday. Have a good weekend!</p>

58

<p>How can anyone find their response among all the others? o_0</p>

59

<p>Thanks so much for your reply Richard. I usually follow the essay ‘formula’, but for this prompt it just naturally came to me. I will make time this weekend to write a ‘standard’ essay and show it to you.</p>

<p>However, I have been reading Collegeboard’s 12 essays from the blue book and the online models for blue book owners and none of them seemed to follow that formula. I remember 3 of them just talked about an extended personal example as I did.</p>

<p>Speaking of ‘none of them’, I learned in English classes that you can only use ‘neither of two’ or ‘none of them’, but not ‘neither of them’ as you mentioned; and also that it is all right to use ‘none of them’ for 2 objects. Who should I believe? a native English speaker or my English teacher? We learn British English though so you may be right for American English.</p>

60

<p>Please grade my essay and give me some comments. </p>

<p>Thanks,</p>

<p>Essay Prompt:</p>

<p>Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.</p>

<p>“The people we call heroes do not usually start out as unusual. Often they are ordinary people subject to ordinary human weaknesses—fear, doubt, and self-interest. In fact, they live ordinary lives until they distinguish themselves by having to deal with an injustice or a difficult situation. Only then, when they must respond in thought and in action to an extraordinary challenge, do people begin to know their strengths and weaknesses.”</p>

<p>Do people learn who they are only when they are forced into action? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>My essay:</p>

<p>I am sitting here stuck with a boring essay topic that I cannot come up with any idea. The fact that my time for this essay is shrinking really scares me now. The time limit is only twenty-five minutes and it’s like ten minutes have passed. Think!!! Why can’t I think of any idea??? I don’t know what to write about the given topic; I can’t even think of a word to begin the essay. Now, I am being forced to do something that is really hard for me. </p>

<p>About five more minutes have gone, and I still don’t have anything on this paper. I am telling to myself that this section will soon be over; all I need to do is to write down some words to get some score. I will try harder with the other sections. However, I am still stuck. The more I think, the worse the situation becomes. The clock is tinkling . Time is passing really fast as if a minute only lasts about one second. How can my situation be worse?</p>

<p>The other test-takers are writing really fast. What is happening to me? How can I still at the start while they are nearly at the finish line? I need to do something. Praying for luck? No! That action will lead me to nowhere, and afterall my total score will suffer. Boom!!! The idea I am longing for has finally come. What if I write down on this paper about my situation I am going through. Will it suit the topic essay? Will it get my some score? I am not so sure, but there is no time for filling my brain with some stupid questions. I need to write, write as fast as possible unless I want to receive a score of zero right at the beginning of my test. I am now forcing my self to scratch the papers with my pencil as I am being forced to finish my essay in just about ten minutes.</p>

<p>Time has nearly flown to the end as I have nearly finished my essay. This is the one which matters. So great that I have saved my own test with a sudden, crazy thought, but that was really a good one I think. How happy I am now! Since I have to do this job in a very small amount of time, I have come up with a strange idea just to save myself. Now I know that I can do anything as long as I am still fighting for it. Thanks to the stupid essay topic. It has completely awaken my inner me. I have totally discovered who I really am. Far from a geek that can memorize six hundred new words a day, but a man that can cope with any problem.</p>