<p>The boys committed a heinous crime. Those that filmed and distributed the act committed a heinous crime. The adults who served alcohol to minors committed a crime. Anyone who may have turned a blind eye to the rape, or worse–covered up the rape, committed a heinous crime. Absentee and negligent parents committed a moral crime. Passive, silent bystanders committed a moral crime. A community which wrongly idolized football players and allowed them to do whatever they pleased with immunity commited a moral cime too. There were lots of crimes and we need to examine every layer of this situation in order to effect change.</p>
<p>One layer is that teens need to respect themselves and make good choices. And I stand by my statements that it was well known in my high school what went on at the after-game parties with football players. Where do you think the sl**ty cheerleader stereotype came from? Both my older kids had the exact same perception of these parties at their high school in the 2000’s. In fact, there was a local high school football player who, once he was recruited to play for the big university, had girls throwing themselves at him nonstop. It was considered very cool to party with him, and a major coup to get him to sleep with them. This sick culture that idolizes football players as heroes is part of the problem.</p>
<p>You couldn’t be more on the spot regarding the “nerds” or any other non-athletic school team. I appreciate your quote by Hannah Arendt as well.
As for “team or school spirit”, I consider it a mini-form of dangerous, fascist, nationalism (for lack of a better term, maybe “localism”?). As an example, there are so many people who feel they must ally themselves worshipfully to a local and sometimes national sports team. What’s even more pathetic are people who didn’t even attend a particular university that they viciously route for. Or parents who still wear their letter jackets to their HS alma mater football games, with the same cliques, though they may not even have a child who attends that school (anymore). Our society is so dumbed down by sports fervor. To be fair, at least we haven’t had any mass riots and tragic crowd serves such as soccer tournaments abroad.</p>
<p>Until we admit we have nationally enabled a rape culture just as prevalent as in countries that we look down our noses at, we wont change it.
We have a purity/rape culture from coast to coast.
Women are expected to cover up, keep their legs together and only have wanted pregnancies within marriage.</p>
<p>Do you not see a difference between a girl who enthusiastically consents to having sex and one who has been raped? I don’t care if some other girl has sex with the whole football team, what does that have to do with a girl who was raped? Are you excusing the boys on the premise they can’t seem to determine how consent works? Here’s a clue, if the girl is unconscious, she didn’t give consent. That should be the ultimate take-away you give your kids.</p>
<p>Are you saying that the “sl**ty cheerleaders” went to these parties expecting to be raped while unconscious? Or are you saying that they went to these parties expecting or hoping to have sex with the quarterback? Because those are two very very different things. A girl who goes to the party hoping to have even casual sex with the quarterback is not asking to be raped, is not to be blamed for being raped. Because a girl comes to a party looking for casual, consensual sex should NOT be considered an invitation to rape. The only person who would view it that way and act accordingly is, well, a rapist.</p>
<p>RVM, if you have a daughter and she was raped, what would your conversation with her be, and what questions would you have regarding her dress/behavior/alcohol consumption? Would her answers determine what degree of culpability she had?</p>
<p>Yes, I AM saying that it was known that girls got RAPED–sometimes by one guy after the other–while drunk at those after-game parties. I know you don’t want to hear that, because we want to believe that young victims are innocent and blameless. Some certainly are, but some aren’t. I obviously don’t know the girl in question, but plenty of girls do take sexual risks in exchange for hanging with the “cool” kids.</p>
<p>This concept of “asking for it” because of the way she dressed/acted/ drank /looked /spoke/ existed, taken to its extreme, leads to Taliban societies where women who don’t cover themselves head to toe with burkahs are whores who asked for anything that happens to them.</p>
<p>Rape is no more sexual an act than murder. It has nothing to DO with sex.</p>
<p>Perhaps if the women in Darfur had only been sober? Or perhaps that woman on the train in India?</p>
<p>Gang rape is gang rape and men who gang rape are criminals. If the gang happens to be a football team? Then, the football team belongs in prison.</p>
<p>The definition of rape is “sexual penetration without consent”. Doesn’t matter what they wore, or even if they wore nothing. Doesn’t matter if they had sex a thousand times before. Doesn’t matter if they consented to the first 59 football players that evening. If she didn’t give consent to the 60th, she was raped. And the person who did it is a RAPIST.</p>
<p>Do you all really mean to say that your teenagers have NO CLUE at all which parties might be trouble? That they have no idea whatsoever about which of their peers drink to excess, which parents supply alcohol for parties at their house, who does drugs in the back hallway of the school, which kids belong to gangs, who’s a responsible kid and who isn’t, which boys are respectful and which aren’t, none of that? You are going too far to the other extreme of zero responsibility to suggest that this is akin to an unexpected car accident or sudden natural disaster, or the result of an evil political system. </p>
<p>My kids would tell me that practically every Monday morning there’d be some girl crying at her locker that some boy sent around a nude/scantily clothed cell phone picture of her, taken while she was drunk at a party over the weekend. After a while, you’d have to be an idiot not to know what you risked if you drank too much with the wrong people. And this generation has received education in health class about date rape and date rape drugs, which we didn’t. You can’t make the argument there’s a rape culture, and at the same time say no one could have known what would happen. Clearly the girl’s friends understood the risk.</p>
<p>Ahh, now I get it. Rape is the fault of anyone who ever enjoyed a high school or college football game, went to a pep rally or enjoys filling out their brackets for March madness. Everyone who enjoys watching sports is stupid and pathetic compared to the oh-so-superior anti-sports types.</p>
<p>I knew eventually someone would go there. Congratulations.</p>
<p>GFG, my high school had 6300 kids. No. I have no idea which were the bad parties and all the other things you listed. I didn’t go to parties but I could easily see going in to a party with NO CLUE what type of people would be there.</p>
<p>There is no such thing as “date rape”. Either it’s rape, or it isn’t.</p>
<p>It is true that CRIMINALS will often prey on drunken people, as well as on the elderly, the mentally challenged, or whomever else they see as easy prey.</p>
<p>Even if you had a clue, would attending a party mean you were “asking for it”? (I have typed more than one response and deleted it. I guess I am speechless.)</p>