<p>Thanks, DonnaL. That is somewhat reassuring. There is definitely a peer-pressured herd mentality that can take hold tho, especially among teens which would inhibit anyone from speaking out against the “fun” when there is a quiet or passive (in this case unconscious) victim. Sean tried to speak out and may have succeeded in derailing events if he had gotten support.</p>
<p>The blogger has posted quite a string of tweets about the April rapes on the other victim. Hope it is brought to justice too.</p>
<p>I don’t know how I missed the earlier stories, but the alleged April rape victim has come forward. Apparently, when the story of the August rape broke, the girl, who was only 14, told her mom what happened for the first time. They then went to the police. </p>
<p>So much of the data I’ve been reading courtesy of you savvy posters, is making so much sense all of a sudden. I recall having a conversation with a young woman who I know fairly well.</p>
<p>“Betsy” (not her real name) - a 22 yo college student at a private U - and I were discussing her dating life. Betsy is a very beautiful, fit and extremely sweet and naive young woman. She’s soft spoken and gives the appearance of being passive and compliant – the perfect victim.
She was somewhat puzzled that potential relationships always seemed to end shortly after the 2nd or 3rd date. As we were chatting about it, she realized the turning point came after they discovered she was a black belt and that she routinely fought and beat men.</p>
<p>I must say that I’m horrified that one third of men would rape if they thought they could escape detection or punishment.</p>
<p>It could just be that for some reason she attracts insecure men.
I suggest she try asking someone out, instead of waiting to be asked.
The men that are confident enough to ask women out in their teens and early 20s, may have a more traditional/caveman idea of dating.
Ive always been much more satisfied with the relationships that I initiated.
;)</p>
<p>I don’t necessarily agree. My best and longest romantic relationships evolved from friendships. Most of the ones that started with one-way attraction sputtered when it was clear it wasn’t becoming a mutual attraction. </p>
<p>Our D hasn’t dated much but perhaps it’s just as well. She has a solid circle of friendships–some she’s known 10 years and others much shorter. She is NOT interested in casual friendships–too exhausting.</p>
<p>Our D is petite and lovely but very assertive and great at picking up nonverbal cues. I’m glad she mostly prefers to avoid drunken routs, as I can’t see much good coming from them. She mostly finds them disgusting.</p>
<p>You can still have a romance with someone that has been a friend. It still takes someone to make the first move.
My youngest is involved with someone who she knew as a friend for several years before they started dating,I have no idea how it came about though.</p>
<p>Oldest didn’t date much in college but for at least the past five years has been involved with someone( & they have been living together for a couple years)i am not sure how they met either, I think it was online.</p>
<p>Has anyone seen the PSA video by the UO student called “A Needed Response”? Bravo to her, short and to the point, and exactly what needs to be said.</p>
<p>I would link it if I knew how, but it will come up if you google it!</p>
<p>movemetoo- I just “highlighted” the URL address on the youtube page, clicked “copy”, and then clicked “paste” in the message box here. The URL address was frightfully long so I wasn’t sure it would translate into a nice,short link, but it did!</p>
<p>The good news is that very few men are involved in actual rapes. I think that is the really good news we can take from the recent research. According to the recent research, rape is not a “normal male response” to an inebriated woman. In fact, it is a very abnormal response.</p>
<p>In fact, most young men, over 90%, never even mistake a drunken woman’s nonresponsiveness for consent, and only 4-6% are rapists, apparently repeat offenders.</p>
<p>The bad news is we still need to figure out how to get the criminals off campus and into prison where they belong.</p>
<p>Given the number of women (including those on this thread) who do not report assaults, exactly how do you think colleges can get rid of unknown problem people.</p>
<p>Well, as most of us have asserted throughout the thread, the most important thing is for women to report to the local police. Also, if you read some of the links, you will see there is a culture of administrative negligance if not outright hostility towards the women reporting to the school.</p>
<p>Schools can certainly encourage young women to report to local police rather than discouraging. They can also take a much less hostile and belittling attitude towards the young women who do report.</p>
<p>Given the repeat nature of the criminals in this case, it would be in the best interest of everyone to stop saying, “there’s no evidence, don’t report.” If somebody is raping more than once, hopefully they will be reported more than once, if the environment is not hostile to the victims who do report.</p>
<p>Interesting story on Brian Banks on 60 minutes tonight who was falsely accused of rape and went to prison under a ten year sentence. The girl lied about being raped and kidnapped.</p>