<p>She said an increasingly frantic Mr. Mays repeatedly sent her text messages the next day, pleading with her not to press charges and saying that he feared his football career would be hurt.</p>
<p>“He was just, like, freaking out,” the girl testified Saturday. “He kept asking, ‘Are you going to tell the police?’ He was trying to get me not to tell anyone.”</p>
<p>In one text message, she said, Mr. Mays admitted taking the picture of her naked in the basement but said that he did not know how the photograph had been circulated. He said the picture showed his semen on top of her, the result of what he said had been a consensual sexual act.</p>
<p>At one point, Mr. Mays, who maintained that he had taken care of the girl while she was drunk, appeared to grow increasingly frustrated that she refused to reassure him. He told her in a text message, “I’ll just never do anything nice for you again.”</p>
<p>the manipulative and narcissistic behavior of these young men appears to exist in the absence of alcohol. While alcohol will lower inhibitions, it does not turn a typical young man into a rapist. I contend these young men behaved this way because they believed they could do whatever they wanted without consequence. and when caught, they are shocked that they may be held accountable.</p>
<p>Gee, do you think they thought it was wrong to make a $3.00 bet on who would urinate on her first? Wonder away…</p>
<p>"Cole didn’t have a good explanation of why he not only declined to stop Mays, but instead decided to film his friend digitally penetrating a girl who just moments before was sprawled out in the middle of a street, in just shorts and a bra, puking, while the group of boys offered each other three bucks to whomever would urinate on her first. [None did, which is about the only humiliation the girl avoided.] "</p>
<p>Doesn’t sound like this was out of the ordinary in any way for those who were involved. They just seem surprised that they were apprehended for it and even more shocked at being convicted. WOW. Pretty scary culture our society has created on campuses and many other places. Liquor has a role but seems to be no moral compass for most of them. Until they were convicted and sentenced I think they and their families believed they did nothing wrong–which is why they’ll appeal. ICK.</p>
<p>OhioMom - thank you for posting that link. That was the most graphic and disturbing article I have read yet. I just don’t know how to comprehend this. The quotes and reactions from the other boys are equally sick and shocking. Why didn’t any of them see how wrong this was? I am also saddened by the plans to appeal. If the boys are apologetic for their actions, they have to acknowledge they did something very, very wrong. But if they are appealing, they are basically saying they are innocent of the charges, which would seem to negate their apologies.</p>
<p>Somehow it only seems they are sorry and sad that they are being punished. It truly doesn’t appear there is ANY remorse, which is what is so scary.</p>
<p>At our kids’ U, the sports (especially football teams) can get away with a lot which is one reason our kids steer clear. In any case this behavior is incredibly awful any way you look at it.</p>
Agree, DonnaL. I was just wondering what the response would be if someone suggested that a woman who had committed a sexual offense should be raped in jail as “karma”? I’m hoping that type of thing is less common in Juvenile Detention than it is in regular adult prisons :(.</p>
<p>One of the many tragedies is that there are so few effective programs to really rehab violent sex offenders especially when they don’t feel they did anything wrong. If they are exposed to more violence (as often occurs to prisoners) it just makes them more violent and likely to reoffend.</p>
<p>Hops_Scout’s and Rockvillemom’s points keep getting brushed aside re: underage drinking. No one here has defended the rapists actions in any way but it seems clear to me that with all the many horrible reports of similar incidents, underage drinking is featured in every one of them. There is a reason (actually many reasons) that it is illegal for people under 21 to drink alcohol and sadly too many people dismiss this common factor.</p>
<p>I do agree that there needs to be a lot more attention to the rape culture and the tragic bad judgement and parental dereliction of duty when it comes to teaching their sons how to respect women and girls, regardless of their sobriety or lack thereof.
Still, does anyone think that this horrible event could have occurred if these kids had not had access to alcohol?</p>
<p>“Have to say, I wish it was possible to mete out some sort of justice to the other teens that witnessed and videoed these events. They really are quite culpable and are getting away scott free in my opinion.”</p>
<p>A good lawyer, I think, should be able to bankrupt all of their families.</p>
<p>None of us will ever know what did or could have happened without alcohol–if she was drugged, she could have had drugs put into anything she was given. Alcohol surely lowers inhibitions but any normal feeling person would see the behavior as wrong and outrageous. They were not too drunk to go from party to party or brag of their exploits or text about them with photos and videos. </p>
<p>There is much blame to go around and like Mini, I hope this young woman and her family have an excellent attorney and goes after many of them.</p>
<p>Somehow from the reactions of the witnesses, this doesn’t seem like it was particularly unusual. In fact the Ohio State player seemed to find it extremely funny.</p>
<p>Seem to recall reading that all weekend drunken parties with the boys often sleeping with a girl were common in this area. Thankfully that is not the norm for my kids.</p>
<p>I work on a crisis line for domestic violence and sexual assault survivors. </p>
<p>Not only do I THINK that this could have happened without alcohol, I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that it could have happened without alcohol. </p>
<p>But again, let’s blame the alcohol rather than those doing the act. Much easier for us to cope with the reality that the alcohol is at fault than the idea that these two boys willfully did this to her.</p>
<p>I generally chose not to respond to questions about the alcohol involved because I refuse to place the blame anywhere other than squarely in the hands of the boys who violated her and took the pictures.</p>
<p>My older d. almost went to a college (my alma mater) where 4.4% of all female students reported that they had been raped (not sexually assaulted - that number is five times as high) in the previous year. Multiply that out over four years. Five criminals (uh, I mean “students”) were expelled in related matters in one year.</p>
<p>On college campuses, I think I know what to do. Have it made clear to every student that every case of sexual assault and rape should be reported to non-campus law enforcement authorities before anything is reported to any member of the college administration - from RA to Dean. Students have no leverage at the college level, regardless how “friendly” the administration claims or seems to be, without the police on the case. </p>
<p>I think the best possible rape prevention on college campuses is getting rid of the college criminal element. Education is a good second step, but first the criminals have to be removed. </p>
<p>I could pontificate on how rape and sexual assault, as crimes of “power”, could be a reaction to youth feeling powerless over their lives in the dayjails (but I won’t. ;))</p>
<p>Whether you loved it or not is beside the point. You were incarcerated there, in compulsory fashion, for the simple crime of being young. Did those who commit other crimes love it there? Or did they love it there because it seemed to give them permission - as in this case - to commit other crimes? Was it reaction to their powerlessness, or was it empowering, in the worst sort of way? Or merely a backdrop?</p>
<p>(And having worked with prisoners, I know quite a few who liked it there, and committed crimes for the sole purpose of getting back in.)</p>
<p>I deleted my post because it was irrelevant. </p>
<p>I very much dislike the terminology of “day jail”. Unlike jail, you do have a choice of whether or not you attend school. Like you point out so many times with homeschooling. </p>
<p>I also vehemently reject a connection between rape and schooling.</p>
<p>School was my ticket out of poverty, like it is for women around the world. I am grateful to live in a country where I get the chance to go to school, free of charge, to improve my life. This is not the case everywhere. Yes, our system is imperfect. I will not argue otherwise, but I refuse to see it as a “jail”.</p>
<p>While I agree that schools unfortunately don’t serve all equally well, it is offensive and provocative to liken them to jails. It’s also getting off topic IMHO.</p>
<p>ESPN story says there are allegations that members of the Steubenville HS team also raped a 14 year old. The horrible drunken 12 minute rant seems to refer to that rape as well. </p>
<p>Pretty upsetting. Wonder how young one has to be before it is statutory rape in Ohio. The number of coaches – 27 is amazingly high. Wish some of them had good morals to impart. Hope the other victims come forward and get justice. Sounds like others didn’t find this upsetting or offensive and no stood up to stop this. . </p>
<p>Actually I think the prosecutor was inaccurate characterizing their treatment of the victim as a toy–they likely treat their toys far better. They treated the victim like a DISPOSIBLE object worthy of scorn and wholly without feelings. Seems psychotic.</p>
<p>^^I don’t have symapthy for the mother crying because the police came to pick up her son in the early hours of the morning. Another investigation. This will not be put behind them yet. I think the kids who would stand up to this type of behavior, and there are many, are simply not at these parties. And HImom, you are correct. They would not think of urinating on their toys.</p>
<p>I think this is quite likely. Both of my kids have always avoided such events–they just don’t find them appealing. Also, kids who would get suspended/kicked off their sports teams for violations of the athletic codes of honor wouldn’t go–at least at our school. My son’s XC coach made it very clear at the start of each season that just BEING at a party where there was alcohol or other bad behavior could result in punishment for a kid, whether he indulged or not. Clearly, the football-dominated Steubenville culture holds a different view of what is acceptable behavior for student athletes.</p>