<p>It’s sadly true, sally. </p>
<p>I hope this poor girl can get somewhere safe. There are programs for survivors like her but not nearly well enough funding to make necessary changes (which might be moving somewhere else). Sad but true.</p>
<p>Also, I second Donna. No one, not even a rapist, deserves rape.</p>
<p>In an ideal world the woman and her family would at best be able to relocate and begin again. Not optimal but better than being in a hostile place like the neighborhood is likely to get. Sad to say the least.</p>
<p>Sadly much of the money to relocate would likely have to come from a successful civil lawsuit that could drag on for many long years.</p>
<p>I wonder if there’s a program similar to the witness protection program that could help her. </p>
<p>I work in DV and SA and I haven’t heard of one but maybe. Or maybe someone will quietly step up and offer her and her family a way to start a new life. I’m an idealist though :/</p>
<p>Sorry, I deleted my comment because I decided it was kind of jerky.</p>
<p>I’ve decided that any young man ought to be damned offended by the idea that they don’t know the difference between a consensual sexual encounter and dragging a drunk girl around town and penetrating her after she is passed out, taking off her clothes and ejaculating on her. I think most guys know the difference between this and consensual sex, and it’s pretty offensive to suggest that they do not.</p>
<p>I agree. A lot of rape apologists seem to have a remarkably low opinion of men.</p>
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<p>It’s already been stated that the alcohol and the rape are two completely separate incidents. That’s on her. And I still think we need tougher penalties for underage drinking. Who honestly thinks any of this happens without alcohol that night?</p>
<p>What happened that night is inexcusable and needs to be dealt with. The rape is being handled criminally as allowed by the court system. Harsh or too soft; it is fair. </p>
<p>Now let’s examine what leads up to these incidents… any takers?</p>
<p>So, will the high school girls of Steubenville and environs continue to make themselves available to these guys? Will the so-called adults of Steubenville continue to enable them in all kinds of misbehavior and derive some misbegotten “pride” from association with a bunch of teenagers playing with a ball?</p>
<p>Is it too much to hope for that the young women, at least, will demonstrate their self-respect by withdrawing from association with these punks? They aren’t the only available males in Steubenville, one assumes.</p>
<p>Has anyone here ever read The Gate to Women’s Country, by Sherri Tepper? Not suggesting that women literally set up their own towns, but they CAN choose the people with whom they associate.</p>
<p>Was the girl prosecuted for underage drinking?</p>
<p>“The scariest piece of this is that they didn’t seem to recognize the inhumanity of it. Afterwards, they continue to hear from peers, parents, supposed mentors that the girl deserved it and that they were only doing what any red-blooded boy would do.”</p>
<p>I agree. It’s not at all clear that they recognize the gravity of what they did.</p>
<p>Far be it from me to defend the news media, but as a matter of law, a conviction is about the defendants, not the victim, so that’s where coverage ought to focus. The court’s job is to determine culpability without regard to the effect the decision may have on the victim.</p>
<p>poetgrl - in theory - I agree with you completely. So why does this keep happening? Why are there so many incidents of date rape? I can’t imagine any boys that I know doing such a thing. But the families of Trent Mays and Ma’lik Richmond seemed pretty shocked as well.</p>
<p>Incidentally, the defense attorneys have already announced they will appeal.</p>
<p>It’s called acquaintance rape, not date rape.</p>
<p>Well, in a recent study, they find that many of the offenders on college campuses are actually repeat offenders. So, it may well be a matter of a few animals doing a tremendous amount of damage.</p>
<p>I don’t think this is ‘normal’ male behavior. I’ve known too many really great guys to believe that it is. However, it is shocking how many damaging acts can be committed by serial acquaintance rapists. This is my personal opinion.</p>
<p>Also, I believe, personally, that the cover up caused by adults who “don’t want to ruin the lives of the boys” is really to blame for a lot of the problem we see with rape culture. It’s good the women are starting to come forward and not to be silenced. I think the sentencing in these cases and the consequences, too, will help to change the Lord of Flies thing. Or so I hope.</p>
<p>I have a very high opinion of the young men in my daughters’ lives, as both friends and boyfriends. I don’t think this kind of thing has to continue to go on.</p>
<p>"Was the girl prosecuted for underage drinking? "</p>
<p>I am sure she is getting help… what an insensitive comment. NOTHING, nothing excuses what those boys did. Her girlfriends or other guys should have taken her home.
In my town HS kids can get “coded” for being at a party( affecting EC eligibility) whether they are drinking or not… but the cops here dont prosecute.</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone was prosecuted for underage drinking. Were the parents held criminally liable for allowing underage drinking in their home? Did anybody go find out who bought or sold the liquor and close the store? Put them in jail?</p>
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<p>I was simply asking a question of fact. I did not know whether or not she had been prosecuted and was hoping someone else knew. Your presumption is insensitive and annoying.</p>
<p>I agree, this is not normal “male” behavior. I for one am a little confused with the thinking that we need to educate our sons that this is wrong? I agree with Jonri, they know it’s wrong, in fact I think most preschoolers would easily know this is wrong. That you don’t touch another’s private parts, and you don’t let your bodily fluids touch another person. This is not a cognitive lesson. This behavior is most likely bad (aggressive) behavior that has never been addressed and has escalated to assault and rape. These young men have likely been getting away with bad behavior, for years as some have mentioned repeatedly. </p>
<p>This violence against women is fueled by our culture, but these young men who have no idea that this is wrong, have not been disciplined and punished for lesser behaviors, and they continue to push the envelope. They are entitled and indulged and reinforced for their aggression on the field and likely have been bullies as well. A lesson will not do this. Holding our children accountable for their aggressive behavior from the time they are preschoolers is necessary. Teaching compassion and empathy from the time they are babies, by demonstrating it TO them is critical.</p>
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<p>Nobody is trying to excuse them.</p>
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<p>And this is part of the problem.</p>
<p>We’ve had similar conversations on CC before and I find that, sometimes, the parents of boys fear that somehow their sons will be lured in or taken advantage of by drunk girls, letting them have their way. They speak as if the boys were the victims of entrapment. That is how the supporters in Stuebenville sound. The mothers of girls tend to have a completely different view. I have no idea how this breaks down here, but it has certainly been a factor in other discussions.</p>
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<p>Oh I definitely wouldn’t say that.</p>
<p>@cartera: Well, a lot of us have sons AND daughters. But many of us are also certain our sons would never find themselves in this kind of situation, because they have been brought up to respect their sisters, moms, and female friends. </p>
<p>Remember too that, as I mentioned several pages back, this culture is prevalent at certain colleges, too–Amherst, Dartmouth and Miami of Ohio come to mind. I am sure there are others. It’s not just the decaying Rust Belt towns that live and breathe high school football where such attitudes prevail.</p>
<p>I have two sons and one daughter. They are all equally disgusted by this situation. This is not a woman’s issue. </p>
<p>the boys will be boys mentality and fearing consequences will harm the boys is sickening. my d attended a youth group dance years ago, and a group of boys dropped their pants publicly. The girls (13/14) were offended and a little scared by the behavior. I only learned of it once my d arrived home after the supervised youth group weekend. I called the director to ask how this was handled to insure it wouldn’t happen again. I was told the boys weren’t disciplined because they didn’t want to embarrass them. I was incensed and voiced it, indicating that if it were my sons, (who honestly would never do this) I would hope the adults in charge would see it as their duty to discipline such inappropriate behavior that has the potential to escalate. I would have sent those boys home and have them miss the dance/party. instead the girls were left feeling unprotected, and confused. This is where we all, mothers and fathers, young men and women have to call out bad behavior and show our girls they matter.</p>