<p>I’m probably not going to quit my day job to solve this case. If this is really murder/suicide, which is looking very likely, everyone’s spin on this girl is a bunch of cr*p.<br>
I come from a law department that was sure OJ would be convicted and that Clarence Thomas would not be confirmed. Oh well.</p>
<p>^I would never serve on a jury if I had already formed an opinion. I’m just curious as to why you think I’m not entitled to an opinion of my own when I’m not on the jury. I hope you give everyone the benefit of the doubt that you are giving McNair (including all “wandering” politicians, etc.).</p>
<p>It’s not a matter of benefit of the doubt. It’s a matter of not having all the facts. I am NOT judgmental of the politicians, either. I just think the latest one needed to shut his mouth a lot sooner. I spend almost no time in the political forums here. It’s not why I read and post on CC.
My problem with your opinions is that you assume facts that are not yet proven. Maybe it’s my legal training, but that just bothers me. I believe what has been reported about the character of the girl is not accurate- at first I believed what I was hearing. I am willing to admit when what is reported might be wrong. You certainly can have an opinion. I would just caution you to wait for facts- and we might never get them.</p>
<p>I have never been one who hesitates to admit when I’m wrong. Or to apologize if an apology is appropriate. Many people on this site cannot say the same.</p>
<p>Someone’s “character” consists partially of his actions. For every person that is vouched by someone to have a great “character,” there is probably someone who has seen a different side of the person. Sometimes, the evidence mounts such that the character of the person has to be re-evaluated. And some “good people” do “bad things.” But some things are damaging on an entirely different level and leave a family in shambles (and fatherless children who will have to live with his revised legacy).</p>
<p>Why do these Michael Jackson words keep running thru my head as I hear about this story: “Mother always told me, be careful who you love, don’t go ‘round breaking young girls’ hearts…”</p>
<p>I don’t think he planned on being murdered. What do you know about his marriage? What do ANY of us know?
So, Steve McNair had character flaws. He was a high profile person and he messed up. How unique!
.</p>
<p>His Realtor has now gone on record that the couple was NOT separated, and the Nashville home was on the market because they were looking for an house of equal or greater value “on a lake.”
I grew up in poor home. I did have a two parent household. My mother stayed home with a houseful of kids. There were 3 in my small bedroom. I recall bunkbeds with one trundled underneath We all shared one small bathroom in a very small home. My dad worked two jobs. We all put ourselves through college, and some of us through professional school. It was not easy. One sibling flunked out before finally completing college. My dad eventually went back to school, and got his degree. My mother did as well when she was in her 60’s. I knew what it was to be working at 16. I knew exactly what elbow grease was. We were not a perfect family. But we new what it was like to have month left at the end of the money. And once the kids began to get education and jobs, get student loans paid off, and buy a new car that was brand new, we also tried to give back and do what we could. </p>
<p>To have come from where he came, to have accomplished what he did, to have given back the way he did, and to then have it all end the way it ended…shocked some of us who came from similar meager surroundings. No stones being thrown. Just utter amazement and shock that a family man could throw it all away over a 20 yo waitress he met at a restaurant he frequented with said family. He was such a role model. I just don’t get the whole “living by his own rules.” I just don’t.</p>
<p>^^ Perhaps true, but the realtor has “gone on record” with a celebrity gossip site.</p>
<p>sunnyflorida posted:
“No stones being thrown. Just utter amazement and shock that a family man could throw it all away over a 20 yo waitress he met at a restaurant he frequented with said family. He was such a role model. I just don’t get the whole “living by his own rules.” I just don’t.”</p>
<p>Again, I agree. This man appeared to have everything, but it looks like he may not have been very selective when it came to “living by his own rules.” He didn’t even know this young waitress well enough to realize how unstable she was (DUI, buying a gun illegally) before he decided to co-own an expensive car with her and entertain her in a condo of his. Not very prudent. And now, it looks like he was still married and shopping for a new house with his wife while involved in all of this other stuff.</p>
<p>Our 10pm llocal news just ran the piece about the Realtor’s comment. They then ran a clip of Steve’s brother discussing the loss. There is more to it than just a note on a gossip site. I typed my note about it just after it ran.</p>
<p>[Steve</a> McNair’s murder proves athlete’s image not always reality - Don Banks - SI.com](<a href=“http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/don_banks/07/06/mcnair/index.html]Steve”>http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/don_banks/07/06/mcnair/index.html)</p>
<p>This article sums up what a lot of folks are feeling, folks like me.</p>
<p>The only place the information about the realtor appears online is on a celebrity gossip site. Again, I would want a little more than that. Local news is not particularly reliable. I recently had a local news station in another city confuse a company’s construction product recall with the Eddie Bauer crib recall- complete with the wrong 800 number.
It may turn out to be true, but there has to be more.</p>
<p>I have read that he bought the car for her as a birthday present - so she was 19 when he started dating her. She must have been only a few years older than his oldest son. If she were my daughter, they’d probably be dusting me for prints right now. All the details are so sordid. I think any 36 year old “man” who dates a teenager is really screwed up. His wife and kids must be feeling a bizarre mixture of sadness, anger and embarrassment for him. </p>
<p>I have a question for those who know more about him. I have read that his current wife was not the mother of all 4 boys - was he married before?</p>
<p>I agree with the sentiments in the SI column. It does caution against jumping to conclusions- right in the first sentence. McNair paid a huge price for his mistakes, and his family will continue to pay that price. He isn’t the first, and as the article points out, he won’t be the last.</p>
<p>Yes, I see the contradiction too. I read the "SI jumping to conclusions. Since he was a fine player, and a giver to the commuity many might “jump” and think he was a fine man. Now we see that wasn’t so. He lacked character. I don’t mind the part that the woman was 20. But that he was married while seeing her. If he’d been single, I’d have said enjoy dating every young single woman that catches your eye. Good luck. Have fun. But married? no. Whether a church wedding or just a civil ceremony, isn’t it understood that both parties are not permitted to date others afterward? And that is true even if one is rich? Or beautiful? or unhappy? The circumstances don’t change the promise. That’s what character is. Doing the right thing even when it’s hard. (no entendre intended)Also, let’s don’t confuse contributing to charities with good character. Good works is not the same as good character. There is an expression that if integrity was easy, we’d all have it.
I go along with Sunny’s post 35 too.</p>
<p>This article gives some clarification into McNair’s relationship with Kazemi’s relationship. </p>
<p>[Woman’s</a> gun ID’d in Steve McNair death, but questions linger - USATODAY.com](<a href=“http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/nfl/2009-07-07-mcnair-mainbar_N.htm]Woman’s”>http://www.usatoday.com/sports/football/nfl/2009-07-07-mcnair-mainbar_N.htm)</p>
<p>I think this a very appropriate quote for this situation.
“People forget that there were two lives lost here, that two families are affected,” Walker said. “It’s not time to demonize anyone.”</p>
<p>Regardless of your opinions on McNair’s morality or Kazemi’s character, the bottom line is that two people who were loved by many family members and friends are now gone forever.</p>
<p>I think one can display good character in some ways and not in others. He did a whole lot more than “give to charities”. Perhaps you might want to listen to Jeff Fisher’s remarks, which as Tom Crean tweeted “Watching Jeff Fisher’s press conference makes me think that is one of the gretest displays of leadership I have watched.”</p>
<p>I still have a lot of questions but unlike the morally righteous among us here, I don’t feel as though I know enough to wholly condemn this man.</p>
<p>I think that we should separate the 2 Steve McNairs, the public and the private. He may have had an affair with a very young woman and led her onto believe that he was leaving his wife, he may not have, we don’t know what he said and if Mechelle was aware of this relationship. IMHO he had a mid-life crisis, but it doesn’t make him a bad person, it makes him a human being that made a bad decision. Having the affair hurt those that personally knew him and loved him. The philanthropic organizations helped the public and we should also be thankful that he was as generous as he was with his time and money. He made a positive difference for them.</p>
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<p>No different than Michael Jackson then. He was known to give to charities, set up foundations, visit terminally ill children in hospitals, etc. The point is that neither MJ or McNair should be looked upon as a role model.</p>
<p>If you really want some insight into the culture of professional football, I really recommend the book “Boys Will Be Boys” by Jeff Pearlman. It is about the Dallas Cowboys in the glory years. It’s pretty tough to stomach, but pulls absolutely no punches. It is a book I could not put down, and I am NOT a Cowboys fan at all. (WildChild loved it and gave it to H for Christmas.) It is practically mandatory reading, in my opinion, for anyone who thinks they know what goes on in the world of professional sports. Let’s just say Steve McNair is an angel. And it isn’t just a FEW that are living disgusting lives, it is the majority.<br>
Read the book.</p>