I recently started dating someone which is great but since we only see each other once a week, I get quite lonely. At the beginning of the year I was told to join clubs and things like that to make friends. Why don’t people talk about what to do if you join clubs but still don’t make friends? I can’t be the only one where that happened.
Thanks for reading lol.
Gotta go regularly and make an effort to get to know the people in the club, but not only at club meetings. The book club I’m in has been guilty of that, so we’re having dinner before meetings now and trying to have game nights and stuff like that so people can feel connected and want to come back.
During Orientation, go to as many activities as you can. Ask people in your hall way if they are going. Introduce yourself…they are looking for friends too. “Hey, I am Pat…what are you majoring in?”
Go to the Activities Fair and sign up for a bunch of clubs that are of interest. They may not all pan out, but don’t eliminate anything yet. If you are into music/D&D/running/church/whatever, you can find other people who are interested too. Service clubs are great because you spend time working together.
Talk to the people on your floor…Get some cookies and offer them “Hey I have cookies, anyone want some?” and then strike up a conversation about where they are from, what they are majoring in, etc. People like to talk about themselves…let them. Don’t make it too long…move on to others.
At dinner time, ask your roommate/people on your hall if they are going to dining hall. Go with them. See if people in your dorm generally sit in the same area… Join them.
Go to any dorm activities your RA has set up. If you are still having issues, talk to your RA. See if they have ideas. If not suggest that they have one. Maybe a movie and pizza?
Join your dorm’s intramural (or any intramural) team.
Talk to others in your classes…exchange numbers so that if either of you miss you can exchange notes… Ask what someone got on a homework question (that you did too)…once you get to know them, ask if they want to form a study group.
If this isn’t working, go to the Counseling Center…they are ready to help freshman this time of year. Don’t think you are a loser because you have to go…this is something you pay for! Get the benefit! You may need to learn some new social skills. They may also have group talks on Homesickness or fitting in.
Go to ongoing campus activities…concerts/movies/lectures/parties. Invite someone/group of people or just sign up and meet people for activities that might be off campus.
See if your dorm/floor has a GroupMe Group set up…otherwise suggest to someone who is extraverted that it might be a good idea. Then people can send a group text that they are showing a movie in the lounge or are baking cupcakes in the kitchen.
Look into Greek Life
You may notice that all of these things take some action…they are not passive. You have to take initiative. But the risk is small…if someone says no, then just say “Maybe another time”.
It takes more than joining clubs. If you join a club, attend meetings, and just sit quietly in the corner that won’t help you to make friends. You have to put yourself out there and become fully engaged in the activity and with the people you meet. The idea of joining a club it that it should be for something you are truly interested in and hopefully it will give you the opportunity to come in contact with like minded people and becoming engaged in a project together which can provide an impetus to form friendships.
Do you talk to people? Ask them questions and engage them in conversation? Invite them to join you for a Coke/coffee? Look at the most social and active people and watch how they interact. Imitate them.
Social sills are still SKILLS. People study them, and practice them. They’re as much a part of success (academic/career or social) as mastering trig, organic chemistry or an upper level finance class.
I will offer my two cents here. If you don’t feel comfortable at that club then maybe it isn’t for you. You might have to mix and match clubs until you find the one or two where you feel comfortable being apart of. Granted, it’s summer vacation now but take that into consideration for next year.