Street Savvy- how can you not be?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>I don’t get it, how can a young adult grow up being not street savvy or have some common sense</p>

<p>I have been reading posts by parents afraid of city schools, or the like, because their student is not “savvy” “doesn’t pay attention to their surroundngs” , etc</p>

<p>Do they look when they cross the street, double check that they have all their stuff when they leave a store, watch their bags at the airport?</p>

<p>I grew up in rural areas, big cities, suburbs, and I was taught to always be aware of my surroundings, be safe, be smart, what to do if chased, etc</p>

<p>Are boys not taught this stuff?</p>

<p>and do you think it is okay to NOT be street smart?</p>

2

<p>Many kids do not pay attention to their surroundings, remember to watch their bags, pick up their belongings etc. Some of it is nurture, some is nature.
Some kids (especially boys) believe they are invincible and there is no real need to be “street smart”. Others grew up in very protective environments and didn’t have to worry about very much.</p>

3

<p>The thing is, you ARE that way, but many many people aren’t. I ran into a woman in the school carline the other day who said her husband “wouldn’t let” her go on a trip to NYC because she wasn’t savvy enough, that someone would steal her purse! Having lived there for 15 years as a single woman, alone, I was appalled. I come from a different world. I’m sure she’s not teaching her son street smarts. She doesn’t have them herself. She’s probably not that unusual in the big scheme of things.</p>

4

<p>My kids transferred to a private school in junior high, and the very first thing that struck them was that everyone just left their stuff laying out on the sidewalk during lunch or class breaks…and NO ONE touched it! On top of that, every single backback contained, minimally, a $150 math calculator. </p>

<p>I guess it just depends on the culture you’ve grown up with. At the school my kids transferred from, you couldn’t leave a pencil out without it getting stolen.</p>

<p>Everything is relative, though, whether you’re a city kid or a country kid. My oldest has a friend whose family are all ranchers- he’s as at home on a horse as behind the wheel- tough as nails- out in the middle of the night rousting cows out of wetlands- I’m a city girl so I can’t give anymore examples but the kids is definitely someone who I’d count on for survival. However…he got his wallet stolen in the boy’s locker room because of his “naivete”. It all just depends on where you’re from.</p>

<p>I know this…I sure did rely on that river guide in West Virginia to get me down those rapids alive a couple summers ago. Don’t know how he’d do in New York City, though.</p>

5

<p>I guess my point is that fear holds people back </p>

<p>Sure I am afraid of some things, but I wouldn’t be afraid of a whole American City</p>

6

<p>It often works the other way around. We know several “street-smart” people who moved here NYC, Brooklyn, etc, who still get the heebie jeebies because they feel it’s too quiet at night and they’re uncomfortable feeling alone and isolated in their houses (and this is in the SUBURBS)! It’s whatever you’re used to-</p>

7

<p>Gotta jump to the defense of some ‘quirky’ and other personality type kids. They just aren’t wired that way. Some of them really are oblivious to their surroundings.</p>

<p>Congratulations or raising street savvy kids. We’re still working on it…</p>

8

<p>some people have ADD
they are smart but have trouble placing priorities on what to pay attention to.
Not just when they are out and about, but during their regular day</p>

<p>I agree with doubleplay- a lot depends on the culture that you learned to live in.
My D attended a private high school- they didn’t even bother to open their lockers- they just dumped stuff on the floor at times.
Her high school was very urban however & the buildings were blocks apart.
I assume they learned to cross the street ;)</p>

<p>Her college also private- kids left laptops on library tables all the time- kids left their dorm rooms unlocked etc.</p>

<p>The only thing I ever heard of was someone peed on a laptop in the dorm, and another student was really bent out of shape when he “abandoned” his laptop in the libary while he went to get something to eat and when he came back it had been taken to community services ( lost and found- he was ****ed that they shut it down without saving his work- poor thing)</p>

<p>But some things just happen- like when a couple weeks into the school year when D#2 was a sophmore- I left my car in the school parking lot for 5 minutes ( seriously)- ran up to the counseling office- slid something under the door and ran back out-.
However someone had been watching my car- and although you had to stand just right to see that there was a purse between the seats- in the 5 minutes I was gone- someone busted a window and took my purse.
In the next hour- they used my bank card to get 3 full tanks of gas at two different gas stations and used my cellphone to call overseas.</p>

<p>So should I have acted like it was a “bad” neighborhood- and have never left anything in my car at all?- I don’t think it has to do with being “street”, I think it has to do with not being paranoid.</p>

<p>Or when my daughter was studying at a coffee shop in a fairly “nice” neighborhood in Seattle. Her coat was on the chair and her ipod was in the pocket. She spilled her tea & when she returned from getting napkins, someone had stolen her ipod.</p>

<p>Actually I am surprised that she realized that her tea spilled!
Some of us pay more attention to details than others ;)</p>

<p>She is however independent enough to have booked a trip earlier this year to visit friends in Chicaco, Pittsburgh & NYC & spent 3 weeks traveling by herself between cities.( however she did this in the winter- & she brought lots of socks but no long underwear)</p>

9

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<p>How “street smart” you are may depend a lot on what sort of street you grew up on. Not every kid has the advantage of growing up in so many different environments as you. Some kid who grew up in the back country of the Rockies and rode the bus 20 miles each day to attend his tiny small-town high school will probably be real “street savvy” about which snakes are venomous and which ones aren’t, where bears like to hang out, and what poison ivy looks like, but he may be relatively clueless about street gangs and dope dealers. And it will be the other way around for the kid who spent his whole life in an urban slum.</p>

10

<p>Part of my point is this unwarranted fear people have, and thus avoid certain schools, cities, states, etc because they don’t think their young adult is savvy enough…</p>

<p>I went to Rome, and was told beware of this beware of that, I was with my Ds, just the three of us, of course I was careful, money belt, double checking I didn’t forget stuff being dinging, but I didn’t not go on the trip</p>

<p>TO not allow someone to go to NYC for fear her purse might get stolen is living in paronia</p>

<p>If I went hiking in the woods, I would ask questions, learn something, read up, but I wouldn’t avoid nature because I was told there MIGHT be a bear in the woods</p>

<p>And yes, I have been in bear country</p>

<p>I guess I wonder about the people that won’t allow or really discourage exploration, travel, living in a new place out of preconcieved notions of what MIGHT happen, without first doing some research, and talking to people</p>

<p>And exploring that different doesn’t have to be bad dangerous or scarey necessarily</p>

<p>Are these kids ever taken to the big city? Mine have been camping, been exploring, taken first aid, and done some self defense, because I wanted them to know both nature, the outdoors and citylife</p>

<p>My point about growing up in various environments was that even though young, I learned how to take care, and sometimes, bad stuff happens, but to not learn about the world because something bad might just happen, is kind of sad to me</p>

11

<p>Just for the sake of discussion, it can also go the other way: too street-savvy.</p>

<p>My family hosted a wedding in rural New England, with cottages and B&B rooms all reserved for guests. Some guests were city folks.</p>

<p>One had a terrible problem because the door had a flimsy lock that would never do in NYC. She refused to stay in her cottage. It was kind of a nuisance, really, but I saw that she really was scared and couldn’t sleep in a country setting. I felt sorry for her. </p>

<p>Just a role-reversal, and to say that it’s hard to adjust to new surroundings.</p>

12

<p>I’m not really sure what you are referring to when you say people have unwarranted fears of certain places and won’t send their kids to certain colleges because of them. I haven’t been aware of this being a widespread issue. Maybe I’m on the wrong threads, but I can’t recall this being a common problem among CC parents. I guess there may be an occassional person out there who has big city phobia, but there are people out there with all kinds of phobias.</p>

13

<p>paying3tuitions,
My Sis in law does the same thing. When she comes to visit my mother (we live in a coastal community), there will be all kinds of children outside riding bikes and scooters, playing ball in the street, etc. And we’ll have 15 people, including children and teens, going in and out of the house (fishing, throwing a ball, so on), and she insists on locking and bolting the door in between every coming and going- even in the middle of the day. She’s like a freakin’ security guard. It’s SO annoying. Constant doorbell ringing. You go out to your car to get something, and 5 seconds later you’re on the outside of the house knocking on the door to be let in again. Meanwhile the carnival of neighborhood children outside playing in the sidewalk and street lends a truly ludicrous twist to the whole scenario. She’s convinced someone is out there lurking in the bushes, waiting to come into a house full of people in the middle of the day and reap havoc.</p>

14

<p>CGM, when my daughter was 12 she was waitlisted for School of America Ballet. She wanted to audition, but we didn’t think she was ready and I told her I was concerned she wasn’t “street smart”. She was very insulted and told me she knew to wait for the proper signals when crossing the street, LOL. A couple of years later, I forced her to ride the subway to summer classes at the MFA in Boston. She is now in her junior year at college in NYC living in Brooklyn and very at ease in her surroundings.</p>

15

<p>That’s a riot, doubleplay. I have neighbors like that. Both grew up in Newark, NJ & the wife’s dad was a Newark cop, so he had a wild ride. But in our neighborhood, nobody locks doors. We have stay-at-home moms, tons of kids playing, a few retired couples. Even the working professionals are home at times during the day — doctor on Wed., chiropractor on Thrus., etc. Yet this family’s ditsy girls are constantly being locked out, loosing their keys… it’s annoying. I had the mom give me a few keys so I could hold them in safekeeping for the girls, but they lost them, too!</p>

<p>Karen, I have one of those kids who isn’t wired for keen observation. He can be distracted by anything and get completely thrown off track. If a car rides by at highway speed, he knows the make, model, year because he recognized the grill, or shape of the headlight. But if he had to take a train independently, he’d probably wind up in the wrong state. We are hoping for some street-smarts to develop before the college years roll around. 16 year old D, however, could probably function quite independently in any setting.</p>

16

<p>You can be observant, and yet still be oblivious because you don’t know how to interpret what you observe. That takes time and practice. A native New Yorker can sit on the subway reading the paper and listening to an iPod and still know everything going on around her - watching the other passengers for clues that something may not be right. A visitor most likely cannot. And if you make it obvious that you’re being observant - that’s a dead giveaway that you’re new in town.</p>

<p>Movements from others around you that may signal danger to someone may not mean anything or even register to another person who’s never been in that situation. There are a few things you can easily teach, like don’t walk next to buildings from which someone could easily jump out, or particularly in NY, walk like you’re going somewhere and don’t stare up at the skyscrapers too long, but other things are “learned instinct” that the non-street wise may not know.</p>

<p>Just as I wouldn’t know how to interpret a bear track or other indication in the woods, and although being observant, am not “woods smart”, some people are not “street smart.” No, I wouldn’t let it stop me from going into the woods, but I’d prefer to have an experienced person to help me. That doesn’t make me stupid or unobservant, just inexperienced.</p>

17

<p>What I’ve found is that some people are just very content with their small town way of life and can’t understand why their kids would want something different. Also, if you are used to paying a low cost of living one cannot understand paying alot more - they don’t see the value of living in a crowded, noisy, polluted area. Crime might just be a small part of the equation. I’m not saying that is my point of view but I understand it. </p>

<p>Responding to your original question CGM, for me it’s how one must me ever-vigilant and aware of all times. Frankly, I think one has to be vigilant in my small town, but there are just not as many possibilities for bad things to happen. I think I’ve been good about giving my kids wings (my daughter is living in a foreign city of over 8 million people) but in my heart, I’m hoping that they end up in a small town similar to my own.</p>

18

<p>I met a guy who had the chance to work in Amsterdam for a year but his wife didn’t want him to take it. She felt that she’d never be able to leave their apartment because of all the legal drugs and prostitution. I think she honestly believed that people were going to drag her in off the street and make her smoke while watching sex. What a pity that irrational fears can keep someone from a great adventure!</p>

19

<p>I don’t think that the fear/wariness/ caution, that keeps us from jumping feet first into the unknown is a bad thing-
its what keeps us around long enough to continue the species :wink:
But stubbornness & determination not to educate ourselves so that we can decide if it is a calculated risk- or just a * risk*, does hold us back.</p>

<p>Some people are so cautious that they never leave their house- only associate with people who agree with them, never do anything without having 12 backup plans.</p>

<p>Then again, there are those who are very intelligent but dumb.
Dare I say that testosterone seems to be involved?
Grizzly Man, is a documentary by Werner Herzog about a environmentalist and bear enthusiast who was so confident in his own ability that he recklessly brought about his death.
Into the Wild, which is being released soon is the story of a Emory College grad, who gave away $24,000 of his savings, abandoned his car, burned his wallet and went to live in the Alaskan wilderness without even decent hiking boots or adaquate food & ammunition.</p>

<p>We can be so street savvy that we are constantly on edge, aware of every variable, never being able to relax totally, or we can be C’est la vie, and barely plan for anything " rolling" with the flow.</p>

<p>I expect we are all some of both depending on our environment.
But I am also thinking of time I spent in a neighborhood that I only found out was really “rough” after wards.
I had a day long meeting and spent lunch just casually walking around the neighborhood. When I returned my coworkers were aghast. Im rather glad I didn’t know- because then I probably wouldn’t have even ventured out, but just “common” common sense was enough. ( common sense- is also translated as experience in living- remember when Bill Gates was at Burgermaster without his wallet? he doesn’t usually have to pay cash apparently, so he just wasnt in the habit- )</p>

20

<p>There are some people who have no business walking around in NYC. In the last two weeks I’ve seen some incredibly stupid things. Like the woman strolling across Sixth Avenue at 42nd Street with her daughter who was about 3. Strolling slowly as the light was about to change, the kid lost her flip-flip in the middle of the street and she and mom bent down in the middle of Sixth Avenue to slowly put the shoe back on. I wanted to kick the mother because the traffic is one-way and moves very, very fast. People were yelling at her and gesturing, so they didn’t get hit, but boy was it close and she never realized. My personal favorites are the tourists who put their strollers into the street first, as if traffic is going to stop; then the ones that take photographs in the middle of the street so they can get a good view, the ones that whip out wads of cash wherever they happen to be. If you can’t give some thought to being safe and considerate in a crowded city, please stay home.</p>