Hoo boy. Yes, I read that Atlantic article too and it was quite upsetting. Really made me reflect on my own school experience, and the experience I’ve tried to create for my kids in response.
I actually went to one of the “test schools” in NYC back in the day (the 80’s, koff) and… I did not flourish in that environment. While it’s certainly nice to have peers and the opportunities for challenges, I’m not sure being among people who are positively marinating in pressure and expectations (I’m talking about students and parents both) is healthy.
For my daughters (the eldest is currently a HS junior), I’ve decided that my goal has to be to supervise but not over-meddle. I tell them that I’d rather have them be happy B students than miserable A students - but it’d better be an honest B, not a throwaway because they couldn’t be bothered to show up. I try to make sure they follow through on things they committed to, but I let them take the lead on what those commitments are. I think the idea that there’s some specific formula for achievement or life success that only routes a few ways though certain proscribed courses or institutions is a damaging myth, and I hope we start to see the pendulum start to swing the other way again.