Perspective helps: one of my nephews was not at all enthusiastic about applying for college. I think he thought he’d get in to all the places he applied; he is a URM; he is a he; he is very talented in the arts, including winning a national award; he had a 4.0; he attended high school in a city with a very low graduation rate for blacks, especially black boys. He took the slacker approach to applications. He got into one school and it probably wasn’t his top choice. So, things like lazy and lacking in ambition and so on went through our (family members’) heads. While all this was going on (college acceptances, decisions, the end of senior year), he injured himself. He went to the doctor. We were told there was nearly a 100% chance he had a particular form of cancer that would require grueling treatments. Almost the first thing the doctors said was, “Are you planning to go to college? Because if you are, change your plans. You’ll be hooked up to chemotherapy, instead.” (They were more diplomatic, but still…) It turned out that the initial diagnosis was wrong and he didn’t have the really terrible cancer; he had a benign tumor instead. But in that week or so before the correct diagnosis was issued, I and my sister (his mom) didn’t give a damn about colleges or work habits or ambition. And knowing what could have happened but didn’t, I continue to try to keep my priorities in proper order.