OMG, rosered55, what a horrible way to learn the keep-it-in-perspective lesson! What you guys must have gone through!
(And the reality is, your nephew still has all sorts of opportunities in front of him, even with the prospect of going to a college that’s not his first choice. If he still wants to, he can try the transfer route. Or shoot for a first-rate grad program. Our very, very imperfect higher education system is flexible and forgiving and doesn’t turn its back on kids who mature later than others.)