<p>I could use some advice. My daughter is a freshman at U-Penn. She is suffering from a stress-induced illness. Doctor is sending her for all kinds of tests but I think the bottom line is going to be stress management. Any ideas of how I can support her? What can I send her in the mail? Chamomile tea or something like that? I really don’t know how to help and she is getting depressed and homesick.</p>
<p>Is there a student counseling center on campus? My son’s college has one and he went there because he was having sleep issues. They did a biofeedback session with him and the counselor recommended mediating. My guess is a school like UPenn would have those resources and counseling would probably be her best bet. I’m sure they are use to dealing with freshman homesickness and depression. Going away to college is a difficult transition for many kids.</p>
<p>I’d keep an open mind as to whether it is stress-induced or something else. It is easy to blame stress, as most people have some level of stress and stress DOES worsen any conditions anyone may have. It’s great that the doc is checking to see if something else may also be playing a role. I’d urge you to get your D to use campus resources on stress management and counseling. One of the keys for homesickness is getting involved, especially helping someone who seems to need it more than you–is there ANY campus activity she likes? The cold & nasty weather makes a lot of folks “blue” especially this time of year. </p>
<p>Does she have SAD (seasonal affective disorder)? If so, perhaps full-spectrum lighting (even a full-spectrum lamp) might be helpful–it was a great mood elevator for me & other loved ones, especially after endless overcast days, weeks & months.</p>
<p>Sorry, I meant meditating…not mediating.</p>
<p>My D is a sophomore in college and works for her school TV station. One of her recent stories focused on the school’s counseling center, so I learned a lot about the services it offers. On their website they have information for parents that might be helpful:</p>
<p>[Stone</a> Center at Wellesley College](<a href=“http://www.wellesley.edu/Counseling/parents.html]Stone”>http://www.wellesley.edu/Counseling/parents.html)</p>
<p>In addition to counseling services, they do mention care packages. I send my D random care packages of items like tea, earrings, scarves, Girl Scout cookies, and lavender pillow spray (it’s suppose to be relaxing).</p>
<p>Vitamin B complex</p>
<p>Honestly, I would go there to see what was wrong, unless I was sure that it was one or two “bad days” (then I would send a care package and call). </p>
<p>Is it possible for you to go there and then have her spend a weekend with you? I read about a few cc posters doing this years ago and some ended up doing this a couple of times per year. They’d just stay in a hotel room together, hw was being done, some good parent/child time, some funny movies watched, and even some room service meals were enjoyed.</p>
<p>nemom: just had this conversation this morning with my senior daughter;
we will def be doing this next year (especially during the winter when, right now, it is 60 degrees in NC)…</p>
<p>to the OP: Philadelphia in winter is a formula for SAD(seasonal affective disorder) and this winter is particularly lacking in sunlight…I wouldn’t rule that out but I also wouldn’t rule out medical issues as well…good luck…</p>
<p>Make sure she gets a work up. We have a friend who four years ago at Christmas was concerned her daughter was looking tired, etc, due to stress at MIT (the D’s senior year…working on year end papers for double major, etc) Long story short, her dad is a doctor so he sent some meds just in case it was an infection, etc, and the tiredness came and went so finally FIVE months later, a week before graduation, right after paper turn in, she went to the doctor. Stage 4 cancer. She is in remission now, but it has been a really long road. ** ALWAYS rule out medical before you deal with mental. **</p>
<p>Thank you so much for your responses. Yes, she’s getting checked out by a specialist but it’s going to take a couple of weeks before he has a treatment plan. So far it looks like a stress induced condition. </p>
<p>I wish I could go and visit. I am on my way next week to New Hampshire to visit her sister who is also going through some difficulties. But a very kind person is paying for that trip or we wouldn’t be able to go there either. </p>
<p>I’ll definitely look into resources the school can provide. I was even thinking a boxing class or something like that could reduce stress. What do you think? But B vitamins and lavender pillow spray are now on my shopping list!</p>
<p>Also you might check to see if the campus rec center has yoga classes. Yoga has helped me a lot with the stress of three teenagers!</p>
<p>Is she sharing with you what is causing the stress? If so, that might help you determine what you can or should do. It is good she is under care.</p>
<p>When my D was a freshman at college, the few times I visited her, I could “sense” something wasn’t right, even though she told me everything was fine, that she was happy, but I always left her with a sinking feeling in my gut. The following year, she confided to me that she had some depression issues and had been going to the counseling center. I knew I should have trusted my gut. I felt so guilty for not intervening and trusting my intuition. She felt she had to handle this on her own.
My suggestion would to keep in touch with her closely, give her opportunities to talk to you. Be a comfort to her, not necessarily offering advice but an ear so she can open up. I didn’t realize the stresses she was under, new environment, no friends yet, time management, finding work. Send care packages, notes, cards, phone calls, text messages, anything to feel your love and support.</p>
<p>Thank you for all of your kind words. I do keep in touch with my daughter. I think her stress is just coming from schoolwork and living away from home for the first time. She has friends, she goes out and does things. We’re just waiting for her doctor to get back to her once the tests are completed and then hopefully he’ll have some treatment for her symtoms. I think her symptoms (heart-related) are also adding to her stress but he won’t prescribe anything until he knows what is going on. But in the meantime I will definitely try all of your suggestions and see if anything helps. I told her last night she should take a bath - but there are no bathtubs in her dorm. She wrote an essay about how the college should allow students to have cats as stress reducers. So she is definitely thinking about ways to reduce her stress.</p>
<p>DD was stressed her freshman year. And sick. She was told by her doctor here that she needed to relax and do yoga. She attended an Ivy League school and he decided she was an over-achiever who was putting too much stress on herself. Thanks to his inability to see past his own assumptions, she went almost another year before being properly diagnosed with a chronic illness and during that year she became progressively sicker. It was a different doctor who finally realized what was going on. I later heard from a friend whose child had the same disease that bright young women with this illness are often told they just need to relax by male doctors.</p>
<p>In terms of support, yes, care packages are appreciated. So are supportive e-mails, helping her find a good doctor on your plan (the best thing I did for my daughter was finding her a truly excellent physician who had gone to her University as an undergrad and who “got her” and liked her and whom she liked back which helped with compliance in regards to difficult procedures and medications) and giving her a message that she doesn’t have to be the highest achieving person at U Penn. Also, encouraging her to see someone at the mental health center might be wise.</p>