Strongly considering dropping my Ph.D at ABD status and months from slated graduation due to lack of skill development

Hey everyone,

I know there was a regulation for no more Ph.D program posts, but I felt like I had to make this one given my recent conversations and debating this mentally for months now. I also feel like this may help others who are in a similar position as me.

I’m strongly considering dropping from my Ph.D. Although I’m confident I can make it to the end, I don’t exactly have anything going for me from this Ph.D progam that I didn’t have with my Master’s. Only one manuscript where I’m a final author, bad teaching experiences, dropped by first Ph.D advisor alongside other projects, and so much more that could’ve gone wrong went wrong.

My thought process is that having a Ph.D without any new skills to accompany it is going to look extremely bad when I go on the job market. Especially since I didn’t do well on the research end of things and didn’t build a “portfolio” nor relevant research projects other than the “milestone stuff” that’s expected in this case (thesis, qualifier project, and now dissertation).

I think that if I conferred my Ph.D, I would wind up pigeonholing myself big time with skills I’m expected to bring that I won’t be able to deliver at all. I’m going to talk to my support network about this further when I get the chance, but I feel like I need to play this differently than others.

I haven’t really followed your other threads (only skimmed a bit)… is there a reason to make a new different thread?

Here are my 2 cents: Having known people who have done both things (either finally finish the PhD that they were struggling with, or decide not to finish the PhD), I think it’s likely to be better for your mind and soul if you can manage to finish the darn thing and THEN move on with life. “ABD” isn’t really a thing, although lots of people do stop at that point.

I think it is pretty common among grad students at this stage to have these feelings and thoughts. Our minds can be really good at rationalizing why it’s a good idea to avoid things or give up.

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I am really a broken record with you.

Talk to your mental health team! I’m suspecting that this is not the first time you’ve contemplated dropping something when you are in the bottom of the 9th inning. It’s an avoidance technique and likely one that your therapist has seen many, many times.

Finish, don’t finish; you need the help of an experienced medical team more than you need advice from strangers on the internet, as much as everyone who is following your saga is trying to help with as much compassion as we can.

If you are not working in academia, then explaining 'I was almost done but then decided not to finish" is going to plague you. Nobody cares what you did or did not publish- your future employers just want to hire someone who can bring a project to completion. And that project right now is your dissertation and finishing up your teaching duties. If you decide to pursue an academic career- I think you’ve posted five different threads and gotten a lot of feedback that this is likely not a good plan for your mental health.

It doesn’t matter whether you think that putting “PhD” on your resume means something or not. If you get a job in data analysis in a consumer products company’s market research department, it just means you start at a marginally higher salary than someone with just a Master’s and that you can do a regression analysis. That’s all it means. They don’t care about your publications.

Talk to your therapist about your itch to quit-- now- when you are working to get a job and leave your bad baggage behind you.

Hugs. I know you are struggling, but don’t make a decision like this by yourself. You don’t seem to be in the right frame of mind to be handling this right now.

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Do whatever you would prefer to do. You are overthinking this. Either choice is valid. It is just what you want to do more.

I’ll admit I’m not sure how I’m overthinking this since the main thing is whether its worth finishing my Ph.D or not at this point even though I’m not far off from finishing it due to how disjointed the whole graduate school process has truly been for me.

Because it’s really quite simple when you boil it down to its essence. Do you want to finish your PhD? If yes, then finish your PhD. If no, then don’t. Really, it is that simple. Everything else at this point is just noise.

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I think your reasons for not finishing are foolish.

If you want to finish, then do so.

If you don’t finish, you might always regret it later in life. You won’t be able to get it back.

I don’t see how it’s going to lessen your job chances - that’s making up a fantasy in your mind.

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I would suggest you finish.

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If you don’t finish your PhD I imagine it will just add one more thing to your long list of regrets.

I’d strongly recommend you get off of CC and work with professionals who can help you move forward.

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Waited for more replies to come on in but to answer @blossom, this isn’t the first time I’ve wanted to quit towards the end. I had something similar nearly happen to me in undergrad. I distinctly remember crying to my life coach at the end of every semester in undergrad about grades and wanting to drop out. My parents made me continue undergrad even after my first year GPA was really bad and I improved my second year, but I had to appeal to keep my scholarship again (thankfully, I did and got my overall GPA above a 3.0 to keep those scholarships after the one and only time I made the Dean’s List with a 3.7 semester GPA). I still wish to this day that I took a break from undergrad so I could go back into things with the perspective of what work life would be like without college (the answer is not good, but I know that now after my brief retail stints).

Putting on my “big picture thinking cap” though, it sounds like finishing looks good to future employers in this case since it shows I can complete something. I see the value in that for sure.

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If you can possibly finish the PhD, do so. Stop trying to rationalize quitting, and get done!

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There are many PhDs who work in industry, government, and other places.

One isn’t eliminated from the private sector because they have a PhD.

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the whole disjointed narrative is in your head. To the outside world-- i.e. an employer, not in academia, you’re someone who has a BA- check. You have a Master’s degree- check. You have a PhD- check. You have experience in research and analysis- check. Done and done.

I’ve worked for companies (all large, global corporations) who hire PhD’s. Sometimes it’s required for the job (PhD in engineering for a role that requires specific technical skills and knowledge) but more often, it’s just that the competencies we need happen to land with a candidate who has a PhD. I have colleagues who NEVER ask about the dissertation topic in these cases- it’s not relevant. I always ask- I come from an academic family (I’m the only one without a PhD so I’m always interested in hearing about people’s dissertation experience) but if a doctorate isn’t required, it’s more conversational than anything else.

And the questions are largely going to be personality type questions, not content questions - “how did you handle negative feedback from your advisor?” or “tell me about a time you were frustrated with your research- how did you pivot?” The questions will be focused on “Is this a person with tenacity, emotional intelligence, able to see the big picture”.

If you are worried about having to get into the weeds (i.e. your “disjointed” concern) once you are out of academia, nobody will care. It’s the lessons learned- frustration, grit, completing something complicated and hard, making sense of very large pools of data and summarizing your findings-- that an employer will care about.

I hired someone for a statistical analyst job a while back who impressed EVERYONE who interviewed him because he told us that his “secret sauce” in his doctoral program was that he was the only one in the department who was able to explain his dissertation topic to a non-technical audience. Periodically the university put together roundtables for the student body, staff (non-professors, etc.) to show “This is what our PhD students are working on”. The other PhD candidates hated doing these-- their work was too technical and they couldn’t be bothered figuring out how to explain it to librarians, administrators, undergrads, etc.

Our guy (who we hired and was a phenomenal employee) LOVED doing these. He took great joy from making the esoteric understandable. Which was exactly what we needed- someone who could break down complicated statistical findings and explain them to product managers, financial analysts, sales teams, etc.

You’ll find your secret sauce… maybe it’s that despite long odds, you understand how to push and push and push even when you are tired. There will be an employer out there who finds that very compelling!!!

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This is good to hear. I’ll admit that I’m not so much worried about getting into the weeds as I am about the major setbacks I’ve had throughout the process that fall outside the norm. I know you’ve seen a lot of my posts so I won’t elaborate too much, but graduating a semester later with my Master’s, low productivity in graduate school (e.g., I was the only one in my cohort who didn’t take on another 10 hour assistantship to go up to 20 hours in my Master’s program), and more are all my main concerns. When I’ve shared this information with those who have an academic background, they all go, “Wait, what? You’re the only one I know who…” Even the most recent feedback I got from academic circles told me that I’m doing horribly. All of this was an attempt to minimize sensory overload from my own stress (a neurodivergent thing I may have mentioned before). It got me through for sure, but it was with the bare minimum. The comparison I still use is that its like finishing an undergrad nowadays without an internship and that can make it hard for folks to find jobs. Even now, I’ve applied for three federal internships that would extend my graduation (I’d still defend my dissertation this summer ideally) so I can get my foot in the door somewhere else easily.

Maybe I do need to find out my “secret sauce,” but I clearly realize now that I did the worst thing for myself by going further into academia despite everyone telling me I had high potential for this sort of thing when I was younger.

You were the only one in your masters cohort who didn’t take more hours of assistantship - yet here you are about to finish your PhD.

I don’t get it. You write. You hear. You go away - and march forward.

Until a week later - when you come back - with the next reason you stink.

Yet you don’t stink. You are on track to complete a PhD - do you know how few the # of people are that are able to complete this?

You have so many positive attributes - yet you continue to look backward, not forward.

Look forward!!

Capitalize on your strengths - and yes, you have them.

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Months away from finishing? Finish. An unfinished Ph.D. is nothing but an MA plus a lot of wasted work and lost income. A finished Ph.D. is a step toward new opportunities.

So just buckle down and do it.

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I was in a similar position re: finishing a master’s degree. I really didn’t want to take the time and effort to finish it, but in the end, I realized that I was so close that it made much more sense to finish my thesis and complete what I started than to quit when all I had was a few months away from completion. I am very glad that I did.

I encourage you to find the time and the resources to finish your PhD. Once you walk away, I don’t think you can go back. If you finish it, it will always be something that you completed – and most of the world outside of academia isn’t going to know or care about the details of your dissertation and any flaws, real or imagined, that are part of it. They will just see that you are one of the few people who has a PhD.

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Your reasons for quitting now are downright nonsensical. It’s time to stop the endless introspection and second guessing, put your eyes on the prize, put your head down, and get it done.

signed, former struggling PhD student who had many similar problems but persevered, and am very glad I did.

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Very rarely in life will you be faced with a the best or nothing type decision. This is pretty black and white. Make the best of it!!

You have put in the time and effort. See it through to the end and don’t doubt yourself. Get support along the way if needed but don’t give up, you have earned it.

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I see. I’ll continue then.

I also know you all aren’t mental health professionals (other than the one who was commenting on my previous thread), but felt I’d share this tidbit from therapy today from a DSW with multiple therapy licenses that got the gears turning in my head. He told me that I’m likely procrastinating because I kept telling myself I wasn’t ready to move on or graduate at all. He also brought up me turning 30 in a few weeks and I just have to accept that I’m ready.

I never read nor watched the adaptations but he hit me with some quote from Catcher in the Rye where one of the characters says he wishes he could stop kids from growing up into adults. I don’t remember how the quote ends but it was helpful.

He also mentioned that me graduating was something for my immediate family and friends too and signifying the effort they put into it.

That’s not everything but those were the key points.

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