In middle school, I got straight A’s for all 3 years. Upon entering high school though, my grades shot down in every subject.
In the first semester, I was sick for 3 weeks and I needed to make up all the busy work in every class and take make-up tests that I didn’t even learn the material for. I ended with 2 A’s and 5 B’s, putting my GPA at a 3.2. Now in second semester, I don’t understand 70% of what they teach because everything just alludes to material we covered in the first semester and I’ve been sick again, for 2 weeks total due to stress-induced illnesses from pulling all-nighters for homework and learning the material. I have, again, 2 A’s and 5 B’s, with two of the B’s “supposedly” going to go to an A after the makeup work gets put in and the rest of the B’s are all borderline from an A. The only reason I have these B’s are because my teachers are cutting me a lot of slack…
I don’t know if I can even take the finals because I’m not going to know half of the material. I have no support, my parents were never really together and now they’re fighting each other and are planning a divorce, and they are harping on and on about me not trying at school and it pisses me off. They won’t listen to me explain what’s going wrong. I’m afraid to talk to my friends because I’m supposed to be the “smart guy”, the roll model, and boasting aside, the leader at my school. I’m not living up to expectations and I constantly dread waking up, just to bring another day of work. I just want a fresh start, what should I do?
Have you tried talking to one of your school guidance counselors? You would be really surprised how much help that can be. When my oldest daughter was a junior in high school, she had some problems balancing her difficult schedule of classes and being on the crew team, which practices 6 days a week all year long. She was a very good student, and she got to the point that she just fell apart. We did everything we could to help her. She later told me that she ended up talking with her school guidance counselor, and that it really helped her. She also had a teacher that was very understanding and tried to help, but it was mostly the guidance counselor who was the most help. She said that she was more help than the expensive therapist that she saw for over a year. I think that is what you should do. Do you have a friend that you can talk to? Or maybe a close relative, an aunt or uncle maybe, or cousin?
Listen, you have a lot on your plate right now, and I’m sorry that your parents are having problems. You really do need someone to talk to, and I would start with your school counselor, or if you try that and feel like that is not a good person to talk to, maybe she can suggest someone.
Your freshman year is hard. It is a big change from middle school. It’s really hard when you get sick and you miss even a few days, as you know. If you are sick and going to be missing a lot of school, I know in my children’s school anyway, they put you on some sort of plan…I can’t think of what they call it, but it’s basically a hardship plan or something like that, and then your teachers know that you are doing the best you can, and they give you some leeway to be able to turn in assignments later and make up tests etc. I just know that once you have that hardship plan noted, they cut you some slack and they don’t pressure you. One of my kids had mono once, and she was really sick and there were times that she would sleep late and miss her first two classes because she needed that sleep, and her guidance counselor put her on this hardship plan so that the attendance ladies wouldn’t hassle her for arriving late. Before that, she was getting in trouble for being tardy, which was rough for her because she could have taken the entire day off and not been in trouble, but being late frequently was getting her into trouble, until she was on the hardship plan, and then the attendance ladies didn’t even question her any longer. It was just a huge relief to her to have that, mostly for that reason, but her teachers were patient with her, and she eventually did catch up. It took her a while though, and she was very stressed out at the time.
You sound like a really smart kid, and I’m sure you are stressed enough having been sick so much and now your parents having problems, that is a lot for you to have on your plate right now. I would definitely see about talking to your school guidance counselor. Hang in there. It sounds like your teachers are understanding about your situation and I bet that your guidance counselor will be a big help too.
OK, deep breaths.
No excuses or explanations. It’s May and you need an action plan. It doesn’t matter that your absences were legitimate, that what appeared to be “busy work” appears now to have been laying a foundation for future material-- none of that matters. What matters is what happens for the next 4 or 5 weeks.
And we’re not going to worry about you being a straight A student or a roll model. This is about you and your education, not other’s perceptions of you.
You have all A’s and B’s. Of course you can take the finals. (And, for what it’s worth, no one is going to give you a bye on finals based on the fact that you’ve missed work. One of the freshmen in my school had brain surgery last Monday. (No, not kidding. ) He’s back in school and will be taking finals in early June.
Here’s what you’re going to do:
- Today, Sunday: you’re going to sit down someplace quiet. I want you to list every course you take, and what’s coming up in the next week or two. Any tests or quizzes, any papers or projects, any deadlines. You’re going to prioritize them by date and tackle them. If you have a math test on Thursday, I want you to go through your notes and list the topics you expect to see on that test.
- Also today, hit teacher websites, or the info you were given in September. I want you to list the times/dates when each of your teachers has extra help, and make plans to hit each major subject for extra help once this week. If somehow there's no such list, it becomes your first priority tomorrow.
- Also today, I want you to contact one friend in each class. If distance allows (and they have their notebooks at home) you borrow their notebook and hit the library with a big bucket of change. You get the notes that were given during those weeks you were absent.
OK, so now you have all the info you need.
-Tomorrow, you make an appointment to see each of your teachers. You explain the situation, and ask them for guidance. Let them know you have all the notes, ask them for an approach. Ask whether they have any old finals you can borrow as review sheets, or anything of that nature. You’re going to have to learn the material, and not merely recall it, so those sheets may end up taking you more time than they will your classmates. No big deal; it’s not a race. But you do want to learn the material, not merely get through the tests, if you hope to avoid issues next year with material you’re supposed to come in knowing.