<p>Bil is doing this for the new wife. Makes him look like a hero and he can then blame the mother of his children and make her look like the bad person, who he probably bad mouths about to the new wife.</p>
<p>Its probably all just a show.</p>
<p>Sometimes life is so sad.</p>
<p>OP, whatever you do, PLEASE try to continue to be there as a constant and encouraging presence for these two young people. They can only benefit from your relationship with them and it sounds like they have tough lives to date and ahead of them. It’s great that they visit often and get yourself OUT of the middle by whichever of the suggestions above appeals to you.</p>