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<p>That is good to know. I was under the impression that the CB cancelled scores and it did not go further. Afterall, one does not need scores to be sent to one’s high school and not all high schools are designated testing centers, so students go to various places outside of their own hs to take the test. I don’t know how the student’s hs would even find out about cancelled scores if the hs was not listed to receive the scores.</p>
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Did the young man in this case play lacrosse? I didn’t see that mentioned anywhere.</p>
<p>Of course every murderer has different factors in his/her past that may have contributed to their heinous behavior.</p>
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<p>[FOXNews.com</a> - Report: Cop Says Lacrosse Murder Suspect Once Threatened to ‘Kill’ Her](<a href=“http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/05/05/lacrosse-murder-suspect-prior-run-law/]FOXNews.com”>Report: Cop Says Lacrosse Murder Suspect Once Threatened to 'Kill' Her | Fox News)</p>
<p>This goes to the question I raised earlier in this thread regarding IF Huguely had ever physically abused Ms. Love and/or threatened her and IF so, what intervention occurred, if any, by friends, family, school personnel, etc. I am truly wondering about this.</p>
<p>I admit that I haven’t talked to my D’s about not tolerating physical abuse, telling someone, getting help, etc. Given their ages (14 and 17) I think my efforts would be greeted with an eye roll, but the sensational nature of this story, together with the physical attractiveness of both parties, may provide a teachable moment.</p>
<p>missypie…and there’s the issue of breaking up with controlling angry men and their reactivity to that, as well as harassment and possible revenge.</p>
<p>The Stiehm article nailed the lacrosse culture as I know it. It is all important in the Baltimore area. It is more akin to a religion. The only thing that rivals it is the horse culture and that’s another can of worms.</p>
<p>Anyone who’s familiar with the many different private school cultures in the DC area will have an opinion about the school this man attended. I do, but I’m trying to remind myself that it’s just not relevant. As other posters are pointing out, an abusive, violent personality, fueled by alcohol, is at the core of this incident. Amy Bishop didn’t murder her colleagues because she didn’t get tenure. And this guy didn’t murder his girlfriend because he grew up privileged or played lacrosse or went to a school where cheating was rampant.</p>
<p>In Virginia, a USNA grad(I think) and former commanding officer of a major ship, just killed his wife and then himself over the weekend. They were going through a divorce. Scary stuff. I have 2 boys but think the cautionary tales need to go out to both girls and boys. I definitely speak with both sons about treating women well. No guarantee on any of this but at least we need to get these issues out there.</p>
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<p>But tell me…is there anything in the lacrosse culture - as opposed to the Texas football culture, or the baseball culture, or the cheer culture, or the NASCAR culture or any other activity about which a group is passionate - that would make a young woman more likely to be murdered or a young man more likely to commit murder?</p>
<p>In my opinion, this has more to do with this one boy’s personality, than all this other stuff about his parents, playing lacrosse, or attending a tony prep school.</p>
<p>Personality does not develop in a vaccuum.</p>
<p>Maybe there’s a little bit of truth in a young man being given extra breaks or passes for poor behavior if he is talented and wealthy and handsome. My guess is that an unattractive, slow-witted child would be more likely to be suspended from school for getting into a fight than an attractive star athlete. So maybe he was in a place he wouldn’t have been in but for a few breaks along the way. But I don’t think any of that made him more likley to actually murder someone.</p>
<p>If this happened often with lacrosse players … but it hasn’t so it isn’t a lacrosse issue.</p>
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<p>I don’t know anything about the lacrosse culture. So please regard my comments in a general sense and judge for yourself whether they apply to lacrosse. </p>
<p>When young people are treated like minor deities instead of mere human beings, when their offenses are forgiven or swept under the rug because of who they are . . . maybe they start believing they don’t have to follow the same rules as everyone else. That they matter more than other people. So while the message may not be an explicit, “Hey, it’s okay if you want to murder someone! Go for it!”, I can see how it could lead to that. “Who is SHE to break up with me? DOESN’T SHE KNOW WHO I AM?”, etc.</p>
<p>When I was in high school, Mike Tyson was in jail for raping a woman. As his release date drew nearer, some student put a “countdown” on a bulletin board–excitedly counting the days till Tyson would be released. The person who put it there didn’t care that he was a rapist; only that Tyson had talent. What did they care about some woman? She was just someone who had disrupted the great Mike Tyson’s career by “getting herself” raped. Similarly with Roman Polanski. </p>
<p>That is the attitude to guard against–that there’s one set of rules for the peons, another for the Greats. Maybe, like the Roman emperors, we need more people whispering, “Remember, you are only a man.”</p>
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<p>Of course it did. Unless the cycle is stopped, violence escalates. This young man was taught that his actions do not have the same consequences as other peoples. He’s special and his parents were willing to overlook several things we know of to keep him in his sport and his college.</p>
<p>Not every person raised in his circumstances murders someone, of course. But one of the fundamental problems is not knowing which privledged young man is going to take it to that extreme. Privledge can mean money, it can mean status in a family and culture, it can mean many different things but the end result is the same; far more women are murdered by their initimate partners than vise versa.</p>
<p>Have you ever read *I am Charlotte Simmons? * The lacrosse culture is pretty heavily skewered in the book. Now, obviously, it’s FICTION, but still. There’s probably a reason why Wolfe focused on lacrosse .</p>
<p>And, now, I’m engaging in pure speculation, but…why did her roommate–another UVA lacrosse player–tell 911 that Ms. Love was probably suffering from an alcohol overdose? At first, I thought that made perfectly sense. Now, I don’t. Ms. Love’s bedroom door had been forced open. She was lying in a pool of blood. One of her eyes was swollen shut. It makes NO sense that the roommate and the non-playing tennis player who was with her thought this was alcohol poisoning. </p>
<p>So, why did they say it? The only reason I can think of is that they thought that she might be alive, wanted to get her medical help, but were protecting Huguely. In their lacrosse culture, it was apparently a-okay to claim that someone had passed out drunk–no biggie–but saying that it look liked she’d been beaten might raise an inquiry as to who did it. The fact that the 911 call didn’t say a word about a burglary or robbery–even though the door was forced open and her computer was gone-- also suggests to me that as soon as they saw Ms. Love, they had a very good idea that Huguely was the likeliest suspect. They talked to the cops at 2:15. Huguely was under arrest by 6 am. They must have named him to the cops. </p>
<p>If Ms. Love had survived without permanent injury, would she have pressed charges? </p>
<p>One of the problems with any “culture” is that its members often think (1) anyone who belongs to it is a good guy/gal who might “blow off steam,” but would never really do what he threatens , (2) deserves a break if (s)he get into trouble and (3) we can deal with any problems without involving the authorities. It doesn’t matter if it’s lacrosse or the Catholic Church or a military platoon. </p>
<p>Usually, when a girl breaks up with a guy at a school as big as UVa she can avoid him. It’s obvious that just wasn’t possible here. The athletes at UVa all “hang out together.” The lacrosse teams were close knit and socialized with each other. Unless she stopped playing lacrosse and dropped her friends her senior year, she was going to run into this guy. Moreover, he lived in the next apartment building. It was very easy for him to keep tabs on her. </p>
<p>And if he did threaten her in a public place, as Fox is claiming, then I’d bet the witnesses were athletes and they assumed he wouldn’t really do anything because he was one of them. I honestly think that if she’d broken up with a guy who wasn’t an athlete and he’d hassled her, half the men’s lacrosse team would have had a “talk” with him and half the women’s lacrosse team would have encouraged her to call the cops. But he was one of their own, so they didn’t. Hey, maybe their friends even thought to themselves “Well, he’s a senior and if we report it, he might miss the chance to wrap up his college career with a NCAA championship.”</p>
<p>So, personally, I don’t think that the fact he played lacrosse made him more likely to murder someone. However, I do think that the fact he belonged to the same circle of friends as she did might have made it more likely that people just didn’t take his conduct seriously and didn’t report it. I also think it might have made it harder for her to avoid him and she probably thought that if she did report him to the cops, it would just make things worse.</p>
<p>In the article which CTTC gave the link, it seems at every step in the process the Lacrosse players were given deferential treatment not afforded the non Lacrosse players. The Lacrosse players were given a heads up by the son of the schools legal counsel, that the admin was aware of the cheating. They were allowed to meet with selective admin in the company of their parents. Each Lacrosse player was only questioned for 15 minutes or so. The son of the Lacrosse coach was one of the cheating 10, but the coach was allowed to lobby for no expulsion of his son and the other players. In contrast the 2 non Lacrosse players were pulled out of class and questioned for hours without their parents being notified until after the fact. </p>
<p>This is just one known case….how many other times have special treatment been afforded these boys. It’s not difficult to see why these kids see themselves as special and not subject to the rules that govern others.</p>
<p>Maybe in the context of this news story, someone will point to some research that shows whether people given repeated special treatment, breaks that no one else gets, are more inclined than others to commit acts of extreme violence. I agree that it definitely promotes *extremely jerky *behavior. Seems like a big step from “I can get drunk and pee on your lawn” and “I can cheat on a test” to “I can kill someone.” So interesting.</p>
<p>Jonri, re: post 276…
I think that is all quite plausible (doesn’t mean it is fact, but simply a reasonable scenario here). It isn’t about lacrosse. But they were in the same circle of friends. So, even if this boy was hassling her after the breakup, he was possibly afforded leeway as a friend of her friends too. They may not have reported his (possible) harassment. They may have tried to protect him, as well as her, or even could not fathom him doing wrong. </p>
<p>I’m wondering if he was harassing her either verbally, physically, emotionally, or in emails, if she shared that with friends. IF any of that was going on, it is a shame it wasn’t reported, but perhaps the culture of all belonging to the same circle of friends affected that. A sort of allegiance, if you may. Either that, or disbelief that this guy would do anything drastic.</p>
<p>I really think in cases like this, the violence is inborn. If it’s due to anything about the athletic culture, it’s that whole concept of, “if you’re pushed and stressed, you can do something extraordinary”. Extraordinarily violent.</p>