Student on Student Lacrosse Murder at UVa

Parent Cafe
421

<p>I’m wondering if the reason she was home that night while her room mates were out was to avoid him. He was probably still celebrating the win from Saturday night. </p>

<p>There would have been a much greater chance of Yeardley reporting the violence had he not been a lacrosse player. In fact, Huguely probably would have been arrested for murdering the guy who hurt her. I’d be surprised if there are not other girls who know about his violence. If they are fellow lacrosse players, we will probably never hear about it. If they are undergrads, and not seniors at UVA, we may never hear about it. </p>

<p>I also think there is a good chance other team mates were with him at W&L. </p>

<p>If you want to look into criminal records in Virginia, go here. </p>

<p>[Case</a> Status and Information](<a href=“http://www.courts.state.va.us/caseinfo/home.html]Case”>Case Status and Information)</p>

<p>You have to know the jurisdiction to do a search so unless someone knows he was arrested in Rockbridge Co. they cannot find it. </p>

<p>In Maryland, go here</p>

<p>[Maryland</a> Judiciary Case Search](<a href=“http://casesearch.courts.state.md.us/inquiry/inquiry-index.jsp]Maryland”>http://casesearch.courts.state.md.us/inquiry/inquiry-index.jsp)</p>

<p>and you can do a name search. That is where I got the divorce info and you can read about all the other Huguely family lawsuits.</p>

422

<p>From a current UVA student, and active member on the UVA board:</p>

<p>Please respect our school, our student body, and everyone who calls themselves a Hoo. There apparently has been some blatant disrespect for our school here, and while I’m not going to go through here and find examples, we had another respected UVA board member say that this is going on. The Virginia community is built on trust and despite common belief right now, when one Hoo feels that they are in trouble or something wrong is going on, another Hoo will stand up and say something. </p>

<p>This kind of act could have happened at any school, UVa is not the only school with top-notch sports teams, a pressure cooker atmosphere, and binge drinking. It’s college, no one is immune. Being 18-22 in this current world is overwhelmingly difficult and many upcoming graduates are scared out of their wits about what the future holds for them. I feel that this young man felt the same way, but snapped in a terrible way.</p>

<p>Thus, I ask everyone on this board to be mature about this and focus less on UVa and what goes on here. Instead, focus on a solution for the problem of our young adults today: the silent fears, anger, depression, and pains we endure, but no one seems to notice until it’s too late. A solution needs to be found for all young adults, not just UVa. </p>

<p>The way we govern our student body and how various infractions are handled are the responsibility of the students. If the media turns the spotlight to focusing on the problems with these laws and incriminates all UVa students as binge-drinkers who go nuts, the student population is going to be severely hurt. Let us deal with these incidents ourselves. UVa graduates many, many top members of society. Many of us went through college with no altercations with the law and will become very successful, fulfilling, positive members of society. Let us all focus on those, as many are about to graduate in two and a half weeks. For those of us who are fourth years, this is an extremely difficult time. But, we all feel that graduating and moving on with our bright futures is the way to honor Yeardley. </p>

<p>The UVa community thanks you all, in advance, for keeping this discussion a positive one so that the graduating class can move forward in life and demonstrate the true nature of our beloved UVa. This is not a problem or evidence of a problem at UVa. This is evidence of a growing problem within today’s college society. It’s a shame that this beautiful, well-loved young woman had to fall away from the successful graduating class. UVa will award her a posthumous degree, as she deserves everything life could, and would, have given her.</p>

<p>Wahoo-wah,
A proud UVa Graduating Class of 2010 member</p>

423

<p>Agree completely with Jonri. Few schools do anything about the rowdiness of the lacrosse teams. They hold a special place at UVA, Duke, UNC, etc. etc. </p>

<p>Had Duke exercised some authority over their hooligan team, they may have avoided that mess. The administrations of the schools turn a blind eye and, in some cases, the coaches come close to being complicit.</p>

<p>Edited to add - to shoebox</p>

<p>Stop with the hooey. There is nothing positive about this situation. That is exactly the attitude that causes problems. You hoos are no better and no worse than any other school. If you can’t take the heat, get out of the forum.</p>

424

<p>

</p>

<p>It is rare that we do hear of all violent events (unless we are intimately involved with the situation, and even then, it’s not certain). I wouldn’t be surprised if, after all is said and done, other ex-girlfriends don’t step forward and share their experiences of being his girlfriend. I guess what I’m trying to say is, there are always situations where the criminal got away with something before they were actually caught.</p>

<p>I guess it’s the equivalent of not buying the line that our kids sometimes try to feed us that it was their first time doing ________. We all know that it’s usually the first time they’ve been caught. </p>

<p>Anyone else read about Lawrence Taylor’s arrest today? For rape of a 15-year old?</p>

425

<p>I agree with Cardinal Fang. Dean of Students Alan Grove is a fruitcake. It’s the guys who should be taught about preventing sexual violence. I recall the comments of Golda Meir, the late prime minister of Israel. When trying to deal with a series of assaults on women, one Israeli politician suggested to PM Golda Meir that women should not be allowed on the streets after dark. Golda Meir’s response was: “Men are attacking the women, not the other way around. If there is going to be a curfew, let the men be locked up, not the women.”</p>

426

<p>

</p>

<p>It’s never been about lacrosse per se.</p>

427

<p>I saw that Teriwtt and my knees went weak. I just have no words.</p>

428

<p>The LT story is horrible. Just horrible. A homeless 15 yo runaway provided by a pimp. She was punched in the face along the way.</p>

429

<p>

</p>

<p>When D1 was in her first semester freshman year at Syracuse, she was invited to a couple of lacrosse parties via new friends who knew some team members. I think she maybe went to two before she told me she’d never go to one again, that they’re a bunch of animals (which in hindsight now, is kind of funny, given the reputation of some of Syracuse’s basketball players). Not ever being involved in the lacrosse culture and not being aware of their reputation, I guess I can be extremely thankful that D1 recognized a very unhealthy atmosphere/culture and decided not to remain in it.</p>

430

<p>

Exactly. And I’m perfectly fine with some of that lesson being learned by looking into the eyes of a date’s father and knowing he will disembowel you if you ever raise a hand to his daughter. Fear is a great motivator.</p>

431

<p>

</p>

<p>I don’t see anyone, myself included, arguing that the parents knew or didn’t know about his previous arrests. They may have. My point with the parents was that they are not to blame for his poor behavior. They could have done everything right and still had a child who did some bad things. </p>

<p>His friends may have been with him when he was arrested. My point was that due to being friends and teammates, they likely do not turn one another in.</p>

432

<p>shoebox, I have nothing against UVA. I think all of you students who are about to graduate should be proud of yourselves. The actions of one young man do not represent the student body.</p>

433

<p>My blood boils when I read shoebox’s post. Close ranks if you will. That is perhaps what led us here. This happened at UVA and UVA had darn well better step up and at least look like they are addressing the problems. Idiotic comments are already coming from the administration. If more time were left in the school year, I would like the see the lady “hoos” protest the attitude. </p>

<p>

</p>

<p>What!! I guess you agree with grand daddy that as long as you have the degree, you have it all.</p>

434

<p>

</p>

<p>They didn’t, though, did they? According to reports, Love was at a party with male lacrosse players, she was attacked by Huguely, and some players from UNC separated them. Where were his own teammates? Did they stand up and say something? Sounds like instead of protecting Love, they were protecting her attacker. The other time, when Huguely was arrested for being drunk, belligerent, abusive and violent, did his teammates stand up, or did they protect him?</p>

<p>Judging from the reports, these male lacrosse players were complicit in a culture of abuse and violence. They are not guilty of her murder, but they should take a good hard look at what kind of behavior they are tolerating and protecting.</p>

435

<p>Chill out people. This isn’t about a particular college. It’s not about a particular sport and all these comments are really misguided and childish as if you’d been pants in junior high by a UVa lacrosse player. To top it off you “dis” a student which is simply outrageous.</p>

436

<p>I spent 4 years at UVa doing a surgical based residency and I have no problems posting here or discussing this, Shoebox, I am a Hoo, and closing ranks is not the answer. In response to your post, we are likely to see more folks coming out and expressing their opinions, not less. This could have happened anywhere, but it HAPPENED AT UVA. </p>

<p>I hope that Dean J and the President and the Board ARE reading what is written here and understand how this is being perceived from the outside as well as from alumni and parents. Might be a good idea to Cliff note the days posts here and email them to those in the know. The more we are asked to keep secrets and close ranks, the worse it is.</p>

<p>This needs to be discussed, students and parents and friends and administration need to learn from this and be educated on the warning signs, teams and coaches need to see how rich, privileged athletes and their behaviors are looked upon. UVa needs to learn from this, and then be the active force in helping other campuses to understand what lead up to this. The parents bear some responsibility, as does the school, the coach, the team, the fraternity brothers and the sorority sisters, and anyone who witnessed behavior by this boy toward this girl and who now feel uncomfortable about what they remember. </p>

<p>THIS IS A TEACHING MOMENT, as uncomfortable as it may be.</p>

437

<p>sunnyflorida - agree completely. No one was “dissing” (do grownups really use that word?) UVA, except for the completely ridiculous comment made by the Dean of Students. </p>

<p>We can’t turn a blind eye to a particular culture that can nurture bad behavior. There are overlapping cultures here - the lacrosse culture, the culture of wealth and privilege, and now we see, in shoebox’s post, the “hoo” culture. UVA can do something about 2 of the 3.</p>

<p>I’ll add that I have great respect for UVA. I was born and raised in Virginia and have relatives there now. I believe they will appropriately address the issue, even though they haven’t yet.</p>

438

<p>I don’t think this has anything to do with one school or one sport.</p>

<p>However, I do think that there CAN be a problem with some athletes (and non-athletes, too) who have been given such star treatment, special privileges, and sometimes family adoration, that it alters their perspective.</p>

<p>Every year a big deal is made out of which colleges recruited the best high school athletes. But, a good coach will tell you that getting the top star athletes is not the secret. The secret is to get top athletes that are humble enough to be coached and obedient enough to follow their rules…not some male-diva-athletes that aren’t going to follow a new set of rules, restrictions, and strategies,and will also cost the team in penalties because of out-of-control temper and impulsiveness. </p>

<p>So, yes, even coaches are aware that this type of athlete exists. And the smart coaches avoid them like hot potatoes. The best coaches can take a lesser athlete that’s humble and coach-able and get better results.</p>

<p>And…that brings up another aspect…humility. When and where should that be taught?</p>

439

<p>

</p>

<p>That didn’t work out so well. That’s why Ms. Love is dead. </p>

<p>Shoebox, You sound just like the folks in South Hadley, Mass who are furious because the “media” made a big deal out of the fact a young girl was bullied until she committed suicide. They too keep telling everyone “it could have happened anywhere” and let us investigate ourselves–it’s perfectly acceptable to have the principal at the school where it happened conduct the investigation. Out of curiousity, did you think it was wrong for what happened in South Hadley to be made public by the press? </p>

<p>Nobody is saying that this couldn’t happen at another school. Angry young male college students have murdered young women who wanted to break up with them before. (People of my generation can remember the case in which a Yale student beat his Yale girlfriend to death in her parents’ home.) Unfortunately, it will almost certainly happen again. </p>

<p>But sometimes, people learn from those experiences. Sometimes policies are changed. Sometimes laws are changed. Sometimes, attitudes change. </p>

<p>So, maybe the next time it takes 3 guyes to pull off a guy who is physically attacking his ex at a party, somebody calls the cops. Or maybe at least ONE of the athletes at the party who saw it tells his coach and the coach does something about it. </p>

<p>I don’t know. I don’t purport to have the answers. But when it gets to the point that athletes won’t give their names to the press because they are afraid of “retribution” from their teammates if they talk about what happened, I think that’s just plain wrong.</p>

<p>Mr. Jefferson would NOT be proud.</p>

440

<p>It certainly is a teachable moment in many respects. Kids this age all have peer pressure and don’t want to tell on one another. It is a teachable moment that when you see something inappropriate, speak up. It is also a teachable moment to young women about signs to watch for in how a guy treats you and when to speak up to others for help.</p>