<p>Our college senior is on his way back to school after Thanksgiving break. It was so comfortable and “normal” to have him here. I really like this guy, and I am bereft. Between school and internships, he has not lived at home since graduating from high school, so I should be used to this by now. I wonder if it ever gets better.</p>
<p>It’s so sad . . . . Both our boys left this afternoon, one out of college for two and a half years now, the other a college junior. I don’t know what “normal” is anymore. It’s certainly not having two boys (and various friends) under my roof. They’re both doing exactly what they should be doing at this stage of their lives. So why am I so sad? :(</p>
<p>You are right, VeryHappy. My heart is deciding what “normal” is. Our son is doing what is “right” for him, and I am glad. Except that I like it when he is home. It has always been this way: I never wanted it to be about me. But what is good for him and what is good for me are farther apart now!</p>
<p>This is the “new normal.” Try to enjoy this stage, when they still do come home for holidays. It’s another thing to adjust to the first time your child doesn’t come home for Christmas (last year for me) or Thanksgiving (this year for me).</p>
<p>You are all making me sad!!! :(</p>
<p>They go on to new lives, exciting “firsts,” wonderful careers. We stay behind and mourn. At least, at this stage in the 21st century, we also have different things to do – work, serious hobbies, other children to attend to. But nevertheless, something is lost.</p>
<p>Oh, but this is the first year DD did not come home for the holiday. It was bad enough when she left to go back, but this year she stayed at school because of so many tests and the Christmas break is in just 2 weeks. It was the first time all were gone. Really a change in our lives.</p>
<p>Ours is an only–no siblings. So we have to adjust quickly. :)</p>
<p>I remember one time I called my mom and was complaining about a 3 am feeding and she said, “Just enjoy it. I mean it. I’d give anything to be getting out of bed to talk to any of you guys at three am, right now.” Of course, nobody listens to thier mother. Not even when we become mothers. I’m sorry you are feeling so sad this evening. It really is so much less without them home. :(</p>
<p>I was just feeling blue, too, and when I logged on and found that I am not the only one, well, once again, CC to the rescue. It is so good to know that we are all in this together, even if we are only online words and made up names. Thanks, folks! I feel a bit better…</p>
<p>WildChild does not come home for Thanksgiving. He only has 2 days off (Th/Fri) and it just isn’t worth it, especially since we have family near his college where he can go for Thanksgiving dinner. He had a lot of reading for classes to catch up on, so he has barricaded himself in my sister’s Poconos house by himself all weekend. We missed him, but Christmas isn’t far away.</p>
<p>Ugh. Taking mine back Monday and that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach is already creeping in. We have had him for a glorious week. And my middle child heads off to college next year. Dreading that. Also glad to be able to share with all of you :)</p>
<p>Today felt like Sunday, and tomorrow two of my boys got back. It was a crazy week, with kids in-and-out, and my 92 yo mother trying to keep track with who-was-where. </p>
<p>I always have worries by this time: did my college freshman son get enough time to study for finals? did my HS senior son ever work on his college apps? did my oldest son (w/ Asperger’s) ever get out of his room? </p>
<p>Thanks to all of you for sharing and listening…I don’t even like limabeans, so why did I choose that name?</p>
<p>Taking our D to the airport tomorrow a.m. What makes it harder is that she really misses home but is trying to make the best of it. I just want to hug her close and keep her home but I know that’s not good for her.</p>
<p>We had a very nice family dinner tonight. Time to go to bed - DD departs on a morning flight. 
I’m already counting days until Christmas.</p>
<p>Had 14 here for Thanksgiving, and my older sister and my D just left this morning. All are gone now except my mom. My sister brought my Mom down from PA - Mom will stay till Christmas, when sis comes back to get her. Sister is taking D back to school on her way home. S1 left yesterday. S2 didn’t make it home - has a gig in Carnegie Hall this afternoon, and rehearsals all weekend. </p>
<p>After my sis and D left, Mom and I were having this same conversation, about having kids grow up and move away. My sis only lives a short distance from my Mom in PA, and she says she doesn’t know what she’d do if she wasn’t there. All 4 of us daughters stayed in state during college, so she didn’t have to cope quite as early as I did.</p>
<p>It makes me sad that none of my kids will ever be anything more than “visitors” again. Or if they are here longer, it won’t be considered a good thing! But like VeryHappy pointed out, it’s the way it’s supposed to be.</p>
<p>My mom told me once that she’d always considered airports exciting places - the point of departure for adventure and travel - until the first time she was left behind. And that’s a bit how I feel. My job now is to remain the point of reference.</p>
<p>
EXACTLY!! I am so sad that home is not my daughter’s present tense any more. But it certainly is the natural order of things, and I wouldn’t want it any different. In my head. In my heart, there’s a different story. I think I have to let my heart take its time realizing what my head already knows. It really hurts sometimes.</p>
<p>My daughter had a very early flight this morning. Just when I got accustomed to having her pretty face and happy sound around, she’s gone again.</p>
<p>Watching my daughter give long, heartfelt hugs goodbye to her younger siblings tugged especially hard at my heartstrings. The littlest, her beloved brother, unsuccessfully fought back tears, openly expressing what we all felt. </p>
<p>But she is happy and growing in ways she would not if she were closer to home. College provides what even the most loving family cannot. </p>
<p>As has already been said, the head knows one thing while the heart feels another. </p>
<p>My heart goes out to those of you whose children did not return this time. How that must have ached, particularly if this was the first holiday spent apart. </p>
<p>I wondered if I was the only one, feeling so sad and empty this morning. I am grateful there is a place like CC to collectively mourn a little. </p>
<p>Like many of you, I’m counting the days until our family is whole again.</p>
<p>I too logged on this morning to see if I was the only one feeling sad. I’ll drive DD back this afternoon. Our house just felt whole while she was here. It didn’t help that I felt cruddy yesterday and just wanted to sleep. I feel like I should have made more of the time she was here. I think she appreciated some downtime though. I know she needs to get back and has lots of work to do over the next 3 weeks. I know this is what she’s supposed to be doing, but it doesn’t make it easier to let her go again.</p>
<p>It’s not hard to see that being in this place is not the same anymore. They are more and more removed from it. Their life is somewhere else now, bittersweet. They are doing everything we ever dreamed for them and yet we are left with an unspoken yearning that can’t be named.</p>
<p>When sadness takes over,I remind myself how full and exciting life was at their ages. I married after soph. yr. in college moving to a new home with a new husband and a life that didn’t include a lot of time for Mom’s “home” anymore. My mother,a widow, was heartbroken but handled it with such grace that I was seldom aware of her sorrow. She let me grow away (and that is what they do) without feeling her lonliness and longing. I’m trying hard to let my kids go/grow in the same way. It’s not easy. Thanks for commiserating.
Last day of exams is Dec. 17, not that I’ll be counting days :)</p>