<p>My D, who is a first-year college student, has her heart set on a two-month-long summer study abroad program. It is a language-intensive study program–Mandarin Chinese in Harbin, China. She has traveled some, including some internationally, but not ever this far and not ever as independently as she would be with this program. Academically I think she will be fine but emotionally I am concerned. She likes the idea of adventure more than she likes actual adventure, I am afraid–but perhaps she is indeed up to this. But how to know?</p>
<p>^you don’t, but two months isn’t that long. My freshman son just got back from a winter break research trip to Pakistan and India. He had to arrange for travel, hotels, passports and set up interviews with strangers. For a kid who had never gone further than NYC on his own except the train to Boston I was nervous. But he figured it all out. He did come back with a new appreciation for the US though.</p>
<p>Gotta agree with mathmom - two months is not a lot. And if it’s a language intensive, my bet is her time will be filled with schoolwork.</p>
<p>Even if all agree that she will go, and there’s much excitement leading up to the trip, then the day before the trip she begins to question her decision, don’t let her off of the hook. If she gets there, gives it a good shot and after a couple of weeks is absolutely miserable, then you can discuss options (if her coming home is even an option). </p>
<p>Most kids that participate in some sort of study abroad program find a Facebook group or similar online forum for kids that have either already done the program, or are about to go. Perhaps she can find this, and read up on what other kids’ experiences have been.</p>
<p>Amesie: My D is spending her sr. yr. of HS on exchange in SoAmerica. She is fairly mature and had traveled as well, but not independently, and was totally convinced she was ready for it. I think she also liked the idea of the “adventure.” She’s now five months into her 10 1/2 month stay. All has not gone well, mostly due to the host situation she has been placed in, and at times she has questioned whether she wanted to stay. But she’s sticking it out and I’m proud of her for doing so. </p>
<p>Your daughter is looking at a much shorter program which would ease my mind considerably. Learning the language is intense; sometimes they just drop off to sleep due to brain exhaustion! Mandarin Chinese-Wow! And there will be misunderstandings due to the language barrier. Is there any training or preparation for her so she knows what to expect? My daughter had a number of such meetings through her exchange organization before leaving that were very helpful. </p>
<p>So, to address your question: we didn’t know if she was ready, she thought she was ready, she has found out maybe she wasn’t so ready, and she’s growing up.
I can’t answer for your D but letting her go is how you’ll find out. :)</p>
<p>We knew our kid was “ready” for a study abroad because HE handled the applications and everything it took to be accepted.</p>
<p>It’s hard, I know my daughter is very much wanting to do a program at her school, which mainly are one year, and hasn’t traveled much, not at all Internationally, but many have done study abroad and haven’t. As her teacher told her, study abroad for most students is a first time adventure, many haven’t left the USA or maybe neighboring states. A lot has to do with the program, their maturity and common sense. That I’m not afraid of, she doesn’t drink, makes good decisions, but I do worry about unexpected things.
Her sister wants to go to more exotic locations and that I worry about, she’s a little more “scattered” at times but if she was with a group, I wouldn’t worry as much. One she has her eye on is language based, another not.</p>
<p>I wish I could have afforded a 1 month London program she wanted to do, but aid didn’t transfer to that, it would have been a good “break-in” abroad experience for her.
I don’t think it’s how far they traveled, but do they know how to approach situations that aren’t all mapped out for them?</p>
<p>
I agree, but (at least to enjoy the experience) it helps to have a certain flexibility of mind. Cultures really are different. Sometimes it’s actually more disorienting when you are expecting more similarities such as in Western Europe.</p>
<p>Having spent a gap year in France at 17, a summer in Germany at 18, and later several years in Germany I am a big fan of immersion experiences.</p>
<p>Totally agree with Thumper!
If she makes all of the arrangements and figures everything out, she is ready.
However, in her developmental stage of invincibility, she may not make arrangements to get immunized. Do not let this one go. Here are recommendations for various destinations:
[Travelers</a>’ Health | CDC](<a href=“http://wwwnc.cdc.gov/travel/]Travelers”>Travelers' Health | CDC)</p>
<p>My D is doing a 1 month program this summer, similar to one that Dbruns mentioned (it’s a 4 week program in England; all profs are from her university as well as all the students.) She’s a young Freshman and plans on doing a full semester abroad later in her academic career. </p>
<p>My DH wasn’t fully on board but we prefaced it by saying it was like a study abroad with training wheels as well as the fact that the two classes she’ll be taking are directly tied to her academic interests.</p>
<p>I have been very impressed by how proactive she’s been with working with the study abroad office, student receivables and the scholarship offices. She’s been seeking out scholarships as well. She’s seemed very mature through the whole process so I’m pretty comfortable with her going.</p>
<p>I agree RobD, my D got deferred from the England program recently (I think because of aid) but has next year and beyond to try again. Unlike some programs, they stay together in an apartment like setting and have the evenings free. The trips and classes and plays they would be seeing would take up a large part of the day. It seemed like fun, rigorous study and as safe as could be under those circumstances.
Unlike my friends son who went to Equador, not knowing anyone really, stayed with a host family (a little uncomfortable for various reasons but got better) got sick at one point, suffered from jet lag and high altittude side effects but still at the end of his 2 months, said, “It was a great experience!”.
Resilience, a good attitude and maturity, can take you a long way. : )</p>
<p>My D decided she wanted to go abroad to study Arabic the summer after her freshman year, preferably to Morocco. We researched programs together over the internet, and I was glad I participated in that, because we were looking for something inexpensive but many of the least expensive programs looked very sketchy (like they would arrange for you to go over there and set you up with a tutor and you would also live with the tutor and there was no group at all!!). We found a 4 week program where she would live with a family but attend classes at a school with other students beginning Arabic study, she applied and was accepted, and off she went. Like some above have said, she handled all the arrangements - I’d say that’s one of the indicators of readiness. She had a great experience. She’s now a junior and just spent the fall semester in Paris. She found the program (and I reviewed and approved), and handled every last bit of the arrangements. The longer time frame made certain things harder - there were times she was unhappy - but all in all it was another really good experience. She is now happy to be back at college.</p>
<p>By the way - I needed to ask not only, “Is she ready?” but also “Am I ready for her to go?” I learned that the answer to the second question was “No” - and then I was more able to see that the answer to the first question was “Yes.” So I had to get over it.</p>
<p>Have to agree with mathmom - a lot of their success has to do with how well they can acclimate to cultures different than their own and how open they are to trying new things. A student who has had little exposure to cultures other than their own hasn’t really been tested.</p>
<p>Study Abroad question: How did you know your student was ready?</p>
<p>Oh she was ready- she took a year off before college to earn money for her airfare.
( which was the largest expense of flying from Seattle, to Dubai, to Chennai- Mumbai, back to Chennai * after spending a month traveling “by herself” in Goa*, then to London before she headed back home)
She worked all summer albeit as a camp counselor- so not lots saved there, but then worked two retail jobs before getting enough money to cover almost 5 months of travel.</p>
<p>If she had had the money earlier, she would have been able to arrange a more direct flight, but it worked out, even if she had to go 48 hrs without sleeping since there wasn’t any place she could leave her baggage.
( & she had already mailed home a bit)
I wasn’t ready & H was a nervous wreck, but it was a “learning experience” for all of us.</p>
<p>I agree that students who can put the plans in place independently are usually ready to go. Hopefully, study abroad contacts at school can help them anticipate issues or challenges specific to their program. I have been happy when our students have approached college opportunities with a “what tools do I want in my toolbox” before I graduate attitude. This applies to everything including internships, research experiences, study abroad, independent arrangements of all types (apts., traveling to school/friends, etc.). Love the acquisition of life skills in the broadest sense of the word.</p>
<p>I had loved my college foreign study program and hoped that S1 would also do foreign study but he never took the initiative to do what needed not be done. He was either not interested or not ready and it doesn’t really matter. I agree with those that say if the kids take the initiative, do the research, work, etc. they are probably ready.</p>
<p>It is interesting how many people have said, if she can plan it, she is ready. I will have to think about why this does not strike me as applying to my D. I have no doubts that she can coordinate what she needs to coordinate but I am still not sure she has really thought about what it would be like to spend two months immersed in Chinese, in China.</p>
<p>Absolutely she should go! I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s China. It’s not the kind of place where a young woman can get into too much trouble. The government keeps a tight lid on things. I think my daughter is ready to go to Spain next fall because, as others mentioned, she did the whole application herself. I think there’s a lot more opportunity to get into trouble in Europe, but I would never try to hold her back.</p>
<p>Maybe ask yourself: what is the worst you think could happen? What does it mean (to you) when you say she’s not ready? </p>
<p>Even if it’s emotionally challenging, maybe not even fun, maybe stressful or she is miserable for two months…is that really so bad? Or are you thinking something worse? I think the best way to get ready for the ‘next thing’ (whatever that is) is to have challenging and difficult experiences. Sometimes the biggest growth comes from the most emotionally challenging. </p>
<p>My 15 yo was in Europe for a month last summer, went alone and met up with a group there from various parts of the world. I had a similar concern that she didn’t know what she was getting into. But she then said this which stuck with me:“but mom, even if it really really sucks, it will still be a memorable experience!”</p>
<p>Amesie- maybe think about what “readiness” means. To me, it can mean ready to try something new, unpredictable and challenging. Maybe, also ready to figure out things that don’t work for them. It is a way to stretch your vision of yourself. Maybe your student has struggled with new things in the past, and your parental intuition tells you this to will be hard or not what they anticipate. Can you talk this out together? My kids have done new things that “fit like a glove” and new things that taught them “never again” or “that was a bit too much of xyz…” If they are “safe”, willing to try it and possibilities are discussed prior, then I have felt that they need to know their own limits and preferences going forward. They can’t figure this all out in the abstract. It isn’t easy tolerate the possibilities of ambivalence or ambiguity. But both are a part of life. Best to each of you as you sort this out together.</p>