<p>Was the self-esteem movement a little out of control in the eighties and nineties? Sure. Did baby boomers make mistakes raising their children? Sure (but not the same ones their parents made; we made our own, unique errors!). I am glad I raised my kids, particularly my daughter, to have high self-esteem. Both are much more confident than I was at their ages. Thanks to a wonderful preschool that provided parent education, we were also able to model/teach our kids empathy, and that has made all the difference.</p>
<p>Digital technology is soon going to be able to offer “Me” magazine. You’ll be able to download it weekly and it’ll tell all about you, what you’ve done the past week–after all, it’ll know about your on-line purchases, theater reservations, dating services, etc., all supplemented by whatever it can pick up from GPS data in your vehicle and cell phone, the calls you’ve made/received with your phone, your bank deposits, and withdrawals…</p>
<p>Okay…so the idea is a spoof stolen from National Lampoon back in those halcyon days when it was still funny. Technology is just catching up to the possibility of a “Me” magazine, geared to each individual buyer.</p>
<p>If today’s generation of college students are self-centered, I shudder to think what will happen when today’s first graders enter adulthood. Here are some responses to various concerns I have discussed with parents during parent teacher conferences:
not doing homework–“Johnny just refuses to do it. He’s too tired.”
hitting another student–“He/she is a good kid and would never do that unless it was warrranted.”
about incessant talking/not doing any work–“He/she has a bubbly personality. You can’t change that.”<br>
about a child who will not stay seated for any reasonable length of time: I don’t see why that’s a problem. Maybe you are too rigid in your expectations
And, my personal favorite about a child who has temper tantrums when asked to do something (such as “time to clean up–snack is over”) “Well he gets angry very easily, so I don’t think you should make him clean up if he isn’t ready.”
I’m generalizing here, but today’s little ones are the product of “no limits”–and schools are having trouble dealing with parents who refuse to see this as a problem.
Many children are being raised to believe that they don’t have to do things they don’t want to. It seems to me that lots of parents are afraid to set limits because they feel they will harm their child in some way.</p>
<p>Taking a sampling of college students does not represent the generation; it represents only a select portion. Most people will not graduate from college, thus it seems illogical to describe our generation as overly ambitious. Perhaps we are a generation of extremes of laziness and over ambitiousness.
I agree with those who said parents are afraid of teaching their kids limits, or offending their children. I got a little cousin who cries whenever he doesn’t get his way, and it’s rather annoying. Just let the kid cry so he learns that crying will not get him what he desires. I hope this type attitude does not manifest it self throughout his life in different forms.</p>
<p>I don’t think students are particularly narcissistic (and I go to the “University of Spoiled Children”, 
)</p>
<p>Some of the questions they ask sound way too broad, to the extent that I would think someone who picked the non-“narcissistic” responses probably has low self-esteem. </p>
<p>I think part of the thing is that people tend nowadays to be less complacent and more willing to demand what they want/need. </p>
<p>In some sense I think that can actually be considered a positive improvement. Case in point: my friend who attends a different university. His situation is as follows:
- He needs to take a particular major requirement next quarter
- He could not take it earlier than next quarter due to prerequisites
- Taking it later than next quarter would delay graduation, or he would have to do summers
- He can’t take it next quarter because the class is already full</p>
<p>Personally I think that he’s being treated majorly unfair. He’s a very laid back, not egotistical guy at all, a really well-centered guy. But he needs to get really “narcissistic” and whiny now because otherwise he’s just going to get walked all over.</p>
<p>But I am special. Stupid fat people must have written this article.</p>
<p>It would be interesting to see the geographic results of this study and if there is a marked difference in the level of narcissistic behavior between the kids in the in the Blue States and the Red States, or education levels of the parents, or level of religiosity.</p>
<p>Interesting thoughts, BigGreen. I have my own theories on the results of some of those you proposed; would be interesting to see if they were correct or not.</p>
<p>Chocolate: why on earth would a first grader have homework? What do you hope to gain with the assignment? And has it occurred to you that perhaps the parent who says the child is tired is actually the one who’s tired? After all, in first grade, no child is doing homework independently. </p>
<p>Approximately 14 years ago I told the principal of my son’s school that my son was a good kid and that the kid he hit deserved it. My son had complained to the recess teacher every day for three weeks with no result. As soon as my son hit the bully, bullying ended. My son’s behavior certainly was warranted. Did he deserve the consequences (no recess for a month)? Yes. Did he think it was worth it? Yes.</p>
<p>You might want to be a little less quick to judge.</p>
<p>^^Seriously? Of course 1st grader’s get homework. I don’t know that I would say that no 1st grader is doing independent homework, either. I agree that chocolate’s examples didn’t convince me that today’s children are more narcissistic (people seem to forget that kids have been imperfect for a long time…“The good old days” are rarely, if ever, better than today), but I don’t particularly have issues with the examples given. More likely than not, “The kid deserved to get hit” is <em>not</em> a legitimate response.</p>
<p>Advantageous: first, you immediately lose credibility when your screen name is a misspelling. Second, perhaps we should agree to define homework. I define homework as independent work that does not require parental participation and which reinforces learning, and I can’t imagine why a first grader would need to have homework. My kids didn’t (beyond a vague recommendation to read a book) and they seem to have turned out okay. (They’ll be graduating from college in a few months.)</p>
<p>First of all, I laughed when I read the first line of your post, because I kept wondering when someone was going to point out that my name is spelled incorrectly. I do know that…it’s a username that I have had for a long time, and the misspelling has become so ingrained that if I don’t use the misspelling as my name, I’ll forget what my log-in is. Dumb? Yes, absolutely, but it’s something of a joke for me and I’m attached to it. That said, that came across as pretty rude, especially for a person who ended their previous post with an admonition not to be too quick to judge. I realize that I haven’t been around here as long as you have, but I think that you could browse through my posts and realize that I’m not an idiot/blowhard. (Also, spelling is really not a marker of intelligence–usually, you either can (I can pretty well, but not perfectly, obviously!) or you just can’t). I apologize if my previous post came across as rude to you–I didn’t mean for it to be, although I <em>did</em> disagree with you. </p>
<p>Back on topic, that’s similar to what I think of when I think about homework for a 1st grader. I would think that small assignments, like spelling lists (:)), stories/books, appropriate math, etc., are not unwarrented for a 1st grader and wouldn’t REQUIRE parental participation, and I <em>would</em> assign and expect such homework to be completed, were I a teacher. Admittedly, I am more in favor of the use/importance of homework than not, which is a contentious opinion anyway. To me, though, this is squabbling over a topic that is really next to the issue, anyway. With respect to the true topic of the thread, narcissism, I reacted to chocolate’s post like this: I thought that those parents sounded annoying and frustruating to deal with, and didn’t particularly have a problem with the examples used. However, I don’t think that this is indicative of sliding parenting/more narcissistic children–I think that there always have been, and always will be, poor parents and nasty, spoiled children.</p>
<p>Well, I’ve just lost 15 minutes of my life trying to find some research, any research, that indicates that homework in first grade might be a good idea. Couldn’t find any. Found some stuff that indicates it’s a bad idea, but that “researcher” appears to have an axe to grind.</p>
<p>Still off track but with respect to the “homework for first grader issue” - back when my college freshman son was in school they had homework folders that had be turned in weekly; homework assignments often involved practicing and applying the math and reading skills they were being taught by using materials from home that students were familiar with or family-related activities. This hands-on approach reinforced what was being covered in class and gave them opportunities to practice and develop the basic rote skills that are taught at this age and can only be mastered by LOTS of practice both in class AND outside of class. Obviously, parental assistance was required. At that age, homework was more like an extension of what we as parents had been doing for the past couple of years when we started teaching our kids their numbers and letters and colors and shapes during their pre-school years. But it was definitely still “homework” - just appropriate for that age. (what 5- or 6-year old can work independently when they cannot even read yet?) </p>
<p>However, if you have a parent making excuses for their child not doing homework due to their own inability or lack of concern to involve themselves in their child’s schoolwork at young ages this might be a good indicator of their own self-centeredness; in which case why would we expect that the children they are raising will turn out any different? (studies do show that one indicator of success in school is the parent’s involvement)</p>
<p>I’ll chime in here, as a former 1st grade teacher. </p>
<p>This is a fairly challenging grade to teach (but my favorite!) because there is such a wide range of school readiness when they come to 1st grade. Some kids are definitely not ready to sit still very long. Developmentally, they’re just beginning to see the world from other than their own perspective. Part of the teacher’s job is to help them with that transition, but gently and lovingly, not critically and punitively.</p>
<p>In my first grade classroom, I’d start homework about a month into the year.It consisted of taking a 1 page worksheet home that I knew they could all complete. It might have 3 problems on it. It might be a drawing. It didn’t matter really - it was just the act of taking it home and bringing it back that I was after. After I got to know the kids better, I’d give them more challenging assignments. By the middle of the year, there were several groups at different levels of expectation.
I would never send something home that I expected the parent to “help” with. That would put many kids at a disadvantage, as not all parents have equal time or inclination to do homework. I told my parents that the best thing they could do with their kids was read to them. Every night if possible, but if not, whenever they could. The paper pencil stuff could be handled at school.</p>
<p>First graders are learning so many things - but reading is the most important thing going on that year. I wanted them to want to read. After that, it’s not that hard to help them along.</p>
<p>I can’t speak for chocolate or comment on his/her teaching style - she/he could be very accurate in her assessment, or she could be too rigid. I don’t know. I do know that this age group is about the most diverse in ability that you will come across - in that some are reading at the fourth grade level and can sit for hours, and others can barely sit still for 5 minutes. By the end of the year, though , the growth is enormous all around. That’s why “patience” is the teacher’s greatest virtue. :)</p>
<p>This is actually a timely argument for me, because my Physics teacher has just decided to stop grading homework for points and has just given us a packet of research in support of this AND has just said basically the same thing as you, dmd77–that there isn’t any info in support of homework. Personally, I found the packet very preachy, but this seems like a “line in the sand” type of issue–neither side is likely to back down. I was thinking of age-appropriate homework for a 1st grader, like the previous posters have described, and within that definition, I would expect the homework to be completed at a regular basis.</p>
<p>dmd77: here is an article for you called, “The motivational benefits of homework: a social-cognitive perspective” </p>
<p>“…homework plays a critical, long-term role in the development of children’s achievement motivation. More specifically, homework assignments provide children with the time and experience they need to develop beliefs about achievement and study habits that are helpful for learning, including the value of effort and the ability to cope with mistakes and difficulty. Skills such as these develop neither overnight, nor in a vacuum. Rather, they are fostered over years through daily interactions with parents and teachers, whose own beliefs and attitudes about learning and education have a profound influence on children’s developing beliefs about their intellectual abilities”</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0NQM/is_3_43/ai_n6361599/pg_1[/url]”>http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0NQM/is_3_43/ai_n6361599/pg_1</a></p>
<p>scansmom -I agree with that article, but it doesn’t say anything about homework for 6 year olds. </p>
<p>What’s important is age-appropriateness, and in my opinion, the promotion of independence and love of learning. The right kind of homework, at this age, can foster these goals; the wrong kind can actually thwart them.</p>
<p>Sounds good, advantagious -
The important thing is to be clear on what it is you’re trying to achieve with the homework, and that it’s a realistic and important goal for their development. If you make that clear to your students and your parents, it’s not that much of an issue. Most 1st graders LOVE the responsibility of homework. Makes them feel grown-up! That’s why they should be able to complete it on their own, without too much trouble. Work into the challenge, and don’t overwhelm. And remind them to read!</p>
<p>Yeah, I sound preachy! :)</p>
<p>Good…I’m glad I’m not totally out in left field about this homework thing. (Clarification: I’m a student, not a teacher, so I’m not the one assigning HW to 6 y.o.'s–just adding my opinion about it). Admittedly, I’m speaking pretty hypothetically here, because I can’t remember the kind of HW that I did in the first grade, but in general, I am in support of age-appropriate levels and amounts of homework. I AM concerned about the amount and type of HW that people (there was an article in Time last fall) have started to assign even to 1st graders in desperation over standardized testing pressure–it seems like that is the sort of stuff that burns kids out younger and younger. But “normal” HW–it’s definitely a good thing, to me. Plus parental/family involvement with HW can help keep the kid’s education on track. Case in Point: my younger brother often asks me for help with his math HW, and I have discovered that they have changed the curriculum (for the worst, IMO) and that he would have issues later on, IMO, if I weren’t giving him advice right NOW with his HW. Similarly, even for a 6 year old, it seems to me that HW is a good way to make sure that a child is getting the proper foundation that they need to build on later (reading/spelling/writing/math at the proper level). Sure, you can look at a grade, but you might never know what “A” (or “Excellent”, for K-2 in my district) really means. JMO.</p>