<p>A wine-tasting buddy of mine just found out that her daughter will not return to her university this Fall. The girl has completed her first year, quite successfully, but had some issues which escalated, and now she refuses to go back. She apparently has a decent GPA so far, but waited too long to let her parents know of these issues. (Apparently related to a vicious falling out with next year’s roomies, and a lot worse than she will admit to.)</p>
<p>Both, mother and daughter are distraught, and now wringing heir hands. Too late to transfer into ANY school for the Fall, obviously. But that is the plan for Spring.</p>
<p>She is looking for a decent interim plan for the Fall. I looked up various study abroad programs, but heck, its Aug.1.</p>
<p>Any suggestions of things she could do that would not make her transfer application look odd in October?</p>
<p>Look into semesters by Nols or Where there be Dragons. It is late in the game but they might have a last minute spot. The girl would need recommendations.
Work on a political campaign</p>
<p>Ooh, dragons looks pretty good. I will pass that on to her. From the little that was revealed, she really needs to go away for a short while. She was looking at some Arabic language programs too.</p>
<p>Can’t help with “gap term” ideas. But wasn’t sure if you/she were aware that many schools don’t accept Spring transfers. Many do, of course. But I wouldn’t want her to be blindsided if she has particular schools in mind which don’t have such.</p>
<p>Since the D decided not to go back to school, it should be up to the D to do the hard work of finding an alternative. My own house rules are that offspring who are adults can’t live at home unless they are working fulltime and paying rent or they are fulltime college students. In either situation, they have to follow the house rules including helping with chores.</p>
<p>Your friend shouldn’t be the one stressing about her D’s situation: The D needs to be doing that. She’s an adult. She made the decision to leave school. Now, she has to figure out what to do with her life – which may mean getting a fulltime job and moving out of the family home.</p>
<p>The parents need to make it clear to the D that she can’t just sit around being supported by her parents. The D made an adult decision and now needs to act like an adult.</p>
<p>Maybe I’m missing something, but why doesn’t she make different living arrangements for this coming year, and return to campus as planned? Running away from every situation in which one has interpersonal conflicts is not a workable or mature strategy.</p>
<p>I really don’t know the answers. It is partly due to being a very small school, and apparently something rippled through the campus and she does not want to return. Actually she seems to be a really good kid, and quite independent in H.S. from what my own kids tell me.
I don’t want to judge from the little I know.</p>
<p>Kids take time off for all kinds of reasons. If it were my kid, I’d recommend getting a job for the semester - or maybe the whole year. Then I’d have her take another look at colleges from her new, more mature perspective and try again.<br>
There’s nothing wrong with making a few mistakes at this age. She will have learned something. Who knows- she may even decide to reapply to the same college.
My DH dropped out of college after his freshman year with poor grades. (the Vietnam war protests, meeting me and wanting to be together all the time, etc…) He worked for a couple of years and then went back and finished the last 3 years in a year and a half at the top of his class and earned a graduate spot at Princeton. He was kind of immature at 17. He turned out more than ok- just needed to grow up a little.</p>
<p>I wish your friend’s daughter luck, chocoholic, and hope that her parents can help her find an acceptable alternative while she gets her confidence back.</p>
<p>Tell your friends daughter to check into a few colleges she’d be interested in, they may still have openings. Many colleges allow students to take classes without matriculating and live in the dorms. The credits cost a little more, but once you achieve a certain GPA, you can matriculate and take advantage of the lower costs. My brother failed made a decision to move and start at another college the day before classes started. He was able to sign up and begin with everyone else. Good luck.</p>
<p>Also, would it be possible for her just to take a leave of absence from the school, maybe just for a semester, or even a year? Social things have a way of flaring up and then disappearing and it all becomes a hazy memory in a few months. That way she wouldn’t have to go through all the problems inherent in transferring to a different school. People do take time off for many reasons. Getting a job for a while and then going back in the Spring or Fall 09 could work.</p>
<p>I know someone who did what busymom4 suggested. He marches to a “different beat” and he refused to take the SATs. This was at a time prior to all of the test optional schools. He went to a college without applying, and he registered for one or two classes. He also worked PT and rented a room. He did well in classes and then applied to the college. He was accepted without having taken SATs.</p>
<p>How about taking a leave of absence from her current college (so she doesn’t burn her bridges) and going to community college in another town, staying with a favorite out-of-town aunt or grandmother for a while?</p>
<p>or, here’s a thought:
Youth For Understanding offers an “open to any high school grad aged 18-22” ten-week college program in Denmark. Unfortunately, the fall semester starts in August - probably too late to go for this fall, but she could inquire.
<p>The girl doesn’t want to live at home. Does she expect her parents to pay for an apartment? Does she expect her parents to finance a semester’s long vacation? Does she expect her parents to support her? Ridiculous. </p>
<p>She should get a job. If she’s planning on transferring to another college, she should also take a few community college classes (gen. ed. requirements).</p>
<p>The girl just left my house, and was very appreciative of all the ideas that i passed on to her from the wonderful CC members. Thank you.</p>
<p>She appears shaken from whatever happened at her school.</p>
<p>And, she is not “expecting” a semester’s vacation paid for by her parents. In fact she tells me that she held 2 jobs all summer and has saved most of it. </p>
<p>She actually has a transfer option (so she has been working on this on her own) but to a school that she would want to transfer out of next year. I could not properly advise her on whether it is a good idea to transfer twice in 4 years, or how it would be looked upon.</p>
<p>I went through a number of colleges in my quest for an undergraduate degree. - 1 4 year and 3 JCs. All that anyone cared about were the last two years - e.g. the upper division courses. It was only a hassle when it came time for graduate school because I had to round up transcripts from so many places.</p>
<p>A guy that works for me has 4 colleges on his undergraduate degree - a JC and 3 4 year schools. He was a baseball player in college and that was the way things worked out. Far as I can tell, no one ever cared.</p>
<p>Note that both of us went on to get MBAs - but prior to that both worked for phone companies and then high tech companies (computer hardware and software).</p>