Suicide, depression and Asian-American college students

College Life
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<p>It’s a tragedy: suicides of Asian-American students at Cornell, MIT, UC Berkeley, Cal Tech, and other universities. </p>

<p>Last year, psychologists at UC Davis released research findings that family conflict is a major risk factor for suicide in Asian Americans. An August 19, 2008 Time Magazine article titled, “A Family Suicide Risk in U.S. Asians?” contained the following excerpt: </p>

<p>“Among students…the problem may have to do with family expectations. ‘Although we don’t have good statistics yet, we believe that many Asian American students are prone to feeling depressed over a lack of achievement,’ says [Stanley Sue, a professor of psychology and Asian American studies at UC Davis]. Getting Bs instead of As on a report card may not seem like a great sin to most students, Sue says. But in a culture and family structure where sacrifice by an older generation for the advancement—and education—of its children is a deep-seated tenet, feelings of shame for ‘failing’ can become unbearable, Sue says, noting that this pattern is most evident in families with immigrant parents and among foreign students sent to study at universities by their families.”</p>

<p>What are your opinions? Besides family problems, are there other reasons? Hear what students are saying and join our thoughtful discussion, “Depression and Suicide in Asian American Students,” going on in the High School Life forum at </p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/high-school-life/751065-depression-suicide-asian-american-students.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/high-school-life/751065-depression-suicide-asian-american-students.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>Yea its sad, but I really don’t think only Asians face this but first generation people in general, since their parents are the ones who suffer the most by leaving their country and having to make the most money to merely get out and have a good education.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the link. :)</p>

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<p>-_- I am Asian and I think it is ridiculous how the discussion is only catered toward asians. </p>

<p>People of all races face these issues.</p>

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<p>I definitely have seen it moreso with Asian students. It seems the bar is often set higher for them. Even in high school, I knew a girl who got a B on a Calculus test, and broke down crying, hoping her parents wouldn’t find out. THAT is ridiculous.</p>

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<p>They should definitely expand this “study” to first gen. students of all races.</p>

<p>I say this because, as a first gen. African-American, I know that African parents also put enormous pressure on their children. You’re also told repeatedly that the only way to make it in life is to pursue a career is medicine or engineering. If your parents are on the more “lenient” side (like mine), then you’ll be allowed to entertain the thought of studying law.</p>

<p>It can be tough, especially at this age. My parents and I argued for years, but lately they’ve really loosened up. But unfortunately not everyone has that luck; we know of a young man who recently committed suicide, due to the pressure he felt from his family. :[ It’s very sad.</p>

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<p>Lighten up people.</p>

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<p>Collegebound91, I’m sorry to hear about your friend. That’s truly tragic.</p>

<p>Chris2k5, I understand what you’re saying about how depression and suicide affect people of all races, not just Asians. </p>

<p>I chose to post about Asian Americans for two reasons. First, I’m Asian American and felt more qualified to write about this experience, as opposed to writing about the experiences of students of all races–something so broad that I can’t presume to understand it. Second, I believed that despite the many differences among the various Asian cultures, there would be some commonalities when it came to certain issues, such as achievement and family dynamics. As the high school thread bears out, lots of students felt that the post was spot on when it came to describing many Asian-American families. </p>

<p>Second, the issue of depression and suicide in Asian and Asian-American students has been on the radar at many colleges in recent years. Cornell actually started a task force to better understand the campus experiences of students of Asian descent. Why? Because they make up only 14 percent of the total student body, but between 1996 and 2004, Asian and Asian-American students accounted for 55% of Cornell’s suicides. Out of 20 suicides, 11 involved students of Asian descent. That’s a strikingly disproportionate number and Cornell felt it was important to address this problem. </p>

<p>Also, just this past year, Cal Tech had two suicides. One involved a male student from Hong Kong, the other, a biracial Asian-American student. </p>

<p>So in my opinion, it’s not enough to say that depression and suicide happen in all races. We need to understand the cultural reasons that contribute to the problem–in Asian Americans and other groups as well. That said, I’m open to comments about the experiences of students of all ethnicities when it comes to depression and suicide.</p>

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<p>This is the problem exist from the new generation.</p>

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<p>You think asian students in america study hard? Come to asia and see the students there. It is pure insanity. Kids don’t have lives, they goto school, stay at school for after school reviews until like 12 PM, everybody has tutors, and etc. This kid I knew told me he went to school at 6 am, studied until 1am, slept, and then it repeated for 4 years.</p>

<p>This is why I didn’t move back to asia when my parents were moving back… because I would’ve suffered. -_- I remember what happened when I got a B.</p>

<p>Then they gave up on me since I wanted to be an art major. LOL. My brother is an engineering major so he did all the studying. :D</p>

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<p>Yeah, asian kids in asia study like crazy…</p>

<p>But at least they don’t have to worry about college resumes as far as ECs, sports, leadership, community service…etc</p>

<p>Still, I’d hate to have my college career decided by ONE test given only ONCE per year… A guy I knew was nearly hospital-level sick when the time came for his year to take their test. Because he didn’t want to wait another year, he went ahead, toughed it out, and took the test. He did fine, but not as well as he would have had he been well. </p>

<p>Imagine what would happen if say, you had a death in the family right before the test, you got ill, etc!</p>

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<p>First generation parents from Asia are very crazy compared to most American parents. The culture clash is what eats up their kids.</p>

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<p>Three, actually. There was a Chinese grad student last week.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the update, RacinReaver. The news reports say that the graduate student, Long Phan, was found dead in his apartment about a week ago. The Cal Tech president is now calling for a mental health task force. </p>

<p>This is alarming. Why is this happening and how it can be prevented?</p>

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<p>I went to a talk about Phan’s death and they said there’s a known phenomenon where once one student commits suicide the odds of another performing it increase drastically. It makes the concept seem a lot more real/possible to people that have been contemplating it, so incidents tend to happen one after another. The staff person talking with us said he’s been at Caltech for over 15 years, and this is only the seventh suicide during that time.</p>

<p>I’ve heard stories that the recent grad student’s advisor is known to be very harsh and not friendly towards their students, so that might have had something to do with it (people said the guy was a bit emotional).</p>

<p>During that session it was also mentioned that he had left a note, and in it he said he had faked feeling better so his friends wouldn’t try to stop him. Apparently this had been something he had planned on doing for a while, and, sadly, the services offered by the counseling center weren’t enough.</p>

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<p>only time i have really seen someone cry over grades was in middle school in band class, we all got up to play our instrument and after the girl played, the teacher says something like 89 out of 100, right about then she cried her way back to her seat…“next student!”</p>

<p>but then again, im pretty damn bummed about getting a 89 avg in stats</p>

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<p>Thanks for the insights, RacinReaver. My condolences to you and the Cal Tech community on the loss of your fellow students. </p>

<p>I wonder if Cal Tech will address the fact that two of the students were internationals. When Cornell’s Asian-American task force released its report in 2004, it talked about how students from Asia often felt under great pressure to succeed, not only because of parents, but because many were on government scholarships that were conditional on “stringent academic performance standards.” They had a great fear of failure, and when they ran into difficulties–whether with advisers, coursework, or social problems–they often felt trapped because they felt they had fewer options to turn to for help. </p>

<p>While there’s a stereotype that Asian internationals are strong students, some struggle academically because of problems with English. Furthermore, the report said many internationals felt homesick, isolated or discriminated against. If they spent long hours in the lab or library, they didn’t have a lot of time to make friends and adjust to the U.S. </p>

<p>Interestingly, Cornell found that many students of Asian descent were reluctant to seek counseling and didn’t follow through on suggestions to go because of the stigma. Instead, professors or staff were helping them with their problems. Not sure that solves everything, but maybe that felt more culturally acceptable?</p>

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<p>Just writing this down is therapeutic for me, so here goes.</p>

<p>I am a 5th year Ph.D. student in History at the University of Pittsburgh, and over the last couple of years my productivity has dropped to extremely low. As a result I’m two years behind where I should be. I stopped handing in papers on time, then I stopped handing in papers altogether, I received a few incompletes and I took months to do what should have taken me one week or less. Recently my advisor quit on me. I have been lucky in that I received a Fulbright this year which kept me from being kicked out of the program, and it will pay for my research abroad next year. I found another supervisor and my professors have given me second, third, fourth, umpteen chances at redemption. Still I find myself procrastinating for hours on end, and staying up all night before giving up on a paper, completely exhausted, feeling disenchanted. Last winter I fell into depression, I spent a few months alone in my apartment with my computer (trying to do homework but rarely succeeding) and I can feel a repeat this winter. My social life in this town has gone down the drain… I’ve gone from a Don Juan to a loner.</p>

<p>Basically I am burnt out. I am 28 years old, and I feel like I’ve given all of my 20s away. Luckily a couple of years ago I joined a music band and we tour Europe often; its been the most exhilarating, wonderful thing I’ve ever done and while it has pulled me away from my graduate school work, it has also kept me happy, sane and positive. I know deep inside that I should quit the Ph.D. and work on my music full-time. Except: I can’t. One reason is financial stability. But I think the main reason is that I’m Asian-American, and my father has a Ph.D and as a result my parents have been pushing me my whole life to get a Ph.D. I wish I could remove this source of my depression, but I can’t find it inside me to quit. I know I’m a big boy; I’ve lived on my own for 10 years, and I don’t fit the stereotype of a mama’s boy, I’ve traveled the world, and I’m independent. Its just that its been drained in my head that I must finish the Ph.D., and therefore even if my parents don’t say anything anymore, I push myself even if I am making no progress, and I just end up a physical, mental and emotional wreck. Even though I feel that I can’t succeed in this Ph.D., I wont let myself fail, so I pull myself through this situation week after week, kicking and screaming.</p>

<p>Is this the curse of being Asian-American? I am almost sure that if my father was not so adamant about my finishing the Ph.D., I would have quit already. But he doesn’t have to say anything anymore - its already ingrained in me. But I worry now that its doing more harm than good.</p>

<p>Thanks for reading, and thanks for allowing me to post in this forum. I would love to hear your thoughts.</p>

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<p>@RubADub (funny name for a depressing post :)) - I definitely don’t think you should get a PhD just because your parents want you to, it’s obviously making you miserable. Becoming a historian is a rare career not many people want, and it’s one of those things you have to really like to do, because what are the perks of being a historian? It’s not like being a lawyer where some people simply put up with Law school because in 3 years they’ll graduate and make money…you’re obviously intelligent but pushing yourself into a career you don’t want is a bad move. </p>

<p>It’s not just an Asian thing either; i’m white, my family’s been in this country like 400 years, and basically all of us go into finance/law/politics, and they pretty much assumed I’d do that. i’m thinking of getting an md or phd, but I’m also worried about the social aspects, difficulty, and how time-consuming it is…but to be honest, i’d rather be working in a hospital helping patients or in a lab doing research in a field I like as opposed to a 9-5 job finance job I hate…but it’s still something I’d think long and hard about. Something that sucks up so much of your life should be something you’re really passionate about, you know?</p>

<p>Or you could finish up your PhD and then travel with your band, but I mean, if you really really don’t want it, then it seems like you’re making yourself miserable over nothing. Would you be happy working as a professor or historian afterwards?</p>

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<p>RubADub,</p>

<p>Sorry to hear about your dilemma. How far are you from completing your PhD? If you’re closer to the end than the beginning, it might be worthwhile to finish so that you can feel a sense of completion and have the degree, even if you don’t end up in the history field. But that all hinges on whether you can find the motivation to keep going–and that sounds like a big “if” for you. Would the Fulbright scholarship and research abroad be stimulating enough to spur you to the finish line?</p>

<p>If you absolutely can’t find any reason or motivation to stay in the program, it’s probably pointless to continue, especially if doing so only brings depression and isolation. Would it be helpful to go on the project abroad before you decide whether to continue?</p>

<p>There’s a bigger question in all of this. You’re only 28. If you really can’t see finishing the PhD, it’s not too late for you to change course. What would it take for you to have a passionate and authentic life? I’m asking this because I know a counselor who has seen many Asian-American men and women come to her in despair when they are in their forties and fifties. She says that some of the men have had extremely successful careers in the health or technical fields, but feel that they’ve made a huge mistake with their lives. They based their career choices on decisions that they made in their teens or twenties–often under parental pressure–and now they feel that they’ve led inauthentic lives and that it’s too late to do what they really wanted to do. The pain is deep. The counselor says that some of these men sit in her office weeping.</p>

<p>I hope that never happens to you. There’s nothing wrong with wanting financial stability. But being financially solid and having passion aren’t mutually exclusive. The answers may not come immediately, but I hope that you’ll take risks and find a way to embrace your music and discover a career path that genuinely excites you.</p>