I have been thinking about this lately, not kids but people with mental illness and chronic pain. I am not suicidal but after this prolonged period of pain I have had I am starting to get it. If I wasn’t going to improve I can’t say I wouldn’t be tempted. Chronic and terminal illnesses are not for wimps like me.
Is life always worth preserving even if that person is suffering with no hope of recovery?
Unfortunately, short of committing someone who is intent on harming themselves is not easy, at all. If you don’t commit them, who is going to be their 24-hour guard? If someone is also intent on harming themselves, and is not in a residential treatment center or on a psychiatric floor of a hospital, they will find a way to do it - they will lie through their teeth to be alone long enough to succeed.
And also, unfortunately, for those who are willing to admit they are at that place in their lives, and need 24-hour monitoring/treatment, dealing with insurance companies to get them to cover such treatment, is often enough to send someone over the edge.
I have a friend who was going through an incredibly tough time and was on the verge of needing inpatient hospitalization, but the insurance company was being obtuse; they were suggesting just more weekly appointments with the therapist (2x/weekly) The rep called the friend’s therapist to find out exactly what could be done to expedite this person’s recovery, and the therapist had the balls to say, “Well, if you stopped denying the treatment she really needs and got off her back and allowed her to do what she needed, maybe she’d get better.” The rep then shut up at that point, and the friend did end up in the hospital, although, several times a week the insurance company was calling to see if the inpatient treatment was absolutely necessary… could my friend move to an intensive outpatient program. It really is barbaric how insurance companies are controlling mental health coverage these days and how programs for the mentally ill on public aid are being slashed. This needs to change.
It is also extremely difficult, legally, to keep a person hospitalized against their will. A friend struggled to keep her newly-diagnosed bi-polar D, who was in crisis, hospitalized, but she wanted out so they discharged her after a week. (She was 20.) A staff person at the hospital said to my friend, “You know this is really YOUR issue, not D’s” while this was going on. She was fighting for her D’s life. Withing a week of discharge, she committed suicide in the middle of the night. She needed to be in a hospital on 24-hr suicide watch.
Another factor, at least in my state, is that there are very few facilities, and there are really, really few resources for teens and young adults: not only hospital beds, but day programs. My friend was desperately trying to find some kind of day program for her D because eventually she was going to have to go back to work. There was nothing that wasn’t mostly 40+ year old males. Not exactly a good environment for a beautiful, brilliant 20 yr old girl.
@Consolation, I’m so sorry for you and your friend. I think your comments about the obstacles posed by the system are very accurate.
Yes, in HI as well as most states, people CANNOT be kept inpatient against their will except for a brief period of time when they are certified to be of IMMINENT danger of harm to themselves and/or others. They can discharge themselves against medical orders as young as age 16 and no attempt will be made to get them back for treatment.
There are also very few inpatient mental health facilities in HI and throughout the US. The ones that exist are over-burdened and often not ideal. It’s definitely a broken mental health system that we have in the US and insurers just make it more difficult.
As has been said, we have a mental health system in the US: it’s called jail.
Cook County Jail in Chicago has been designated as the largest mental hospital in the U.S. Something like 75%+ of its residents have a major mood disorder, such as bipolar. And their mental health staff is sorely lacking in numbers; there is absolutely no way every prisoner can receive adequate treatment given their budget.
Very sorry Maine Longhorn…just terrible. About 5 years ago, a recently graduated senior from our small high school killed himself. He was a popular athlete from a well-known local family and had been affected by mental illness for, I think, about a year previously. As some here know, one of my chidren - the opposite of popular - spent the last 18 months of high school thinking everybody would be just fine without him around and making some plans toward carrying it out. It has been a long, extremely stressful, and difficult slog to a better place, for him of course and for his family. I am thankful every day that we had the resources to obtain excellent care over a period of 2 years, and for the outstanding support from our high school administrators and staff. He is doing much, much better now and is even away at college, carving out a niche for himself. I still panic if I can’t reach him fairly easily.
@Snowdog, I feel for you and your fear and stress. I’m glad that you were able to obtain the help your S needed, and that he is doing so much better.
BTW, the girl I mentioned above was a graduate of the same HS as the boy MaineLonghorn attended.
Wow, @snowdog, so glad you were able to get your S the needed help and that he is in a much better place now.
Yes, but there are also people who are intent on harming themselves but who only feel that way for a week or a day or an hour. If they can be prevented from doing it during that short period of time, something very useful has been accomplished.
The disordered thinking is hard to understand from the outside. We screen people for suicidal ideation on admit to the hospital. One gentleman in poor health stated that he was considering suicide. As he was obviously close to his teenage sons, I asked why on earth he would want to consider condemning his sons to a lifetime of therapy and regret. He was shocked, and had never thought of it from that perspective, and had only thought about how they’d enjoy him going out “in a blaze of glory”.
My sister, in her twenties with multiple stresses was hospitalized with an overdose attempt. The mother of a young baby at the time, they scolded her in the ER for even considering not being there for that baby. She did not attempt or threaten again till her little girl was grown, which given the history is impressive. That this worked so well has given me a little more license to speak honestly to those who attempt, that their actions can cause immense pain to those left behind.
Mainelonghorn and Consolation, I am so sorry for the losses in your community.
Today is the 7th anniversary of my brother in laws death due to suicide/depression. H hasn’t said anything and I am working hard at making it a normal day, I never know what might put him into a tailspin. I will keep my mouth shut at home, though I did need a place to recognize my brother in law and that he was truly a great man, he lives on through his child and grandchild.
There is one area of suicide which I feel should be treated differently - terminal patients’ right to die. I fully supported Dr. Kevorkian’s position and if I end up in a situation where I have such a medical condition that I don’t want to continue, I certainly would want a system that’ll let me get euthanized.
A couple of years ago I received an urgent text message from my son to contact the police because a classmate had not come to school and the night before she had told two friends that she was thinking about suicide. The kids didn’t know what to do, so they did nothing except tell my son the next morning. The girl may have made some attempt, but she was fine.
I do think it is telling that my son contacted me for help rather than school officials. And I think that is part of the problem. Of course, does the duty of the school extend beyond the schoolyard?
Yet another MIT suicide, this time a grad student.
@Dadof3 , Would you extend that beyond terminal conditions, though? Say, if someone had a spinal cord injury or MS or lost a limb and wanted to die?