<p>My D is driving me crazy this summer. She is literally trying to start fights with me for nearly no reason at all. We’ve slowly given her more freedom through her senior year so that she can start to get a feel for things. But all she seems to be able to do is come up with reason why I’m so awful and terrible to her and everyone else, yet she is the one completely out of control. I know that this can be normal, but I feel like I’m helpless to her. Everything I say or do seems to upset her. Any help or advice will be greatly appreciated.</p>
<p>We have all been there unfortunately. Search “fouling the nest” and you’ll see many posts. Once she gets to school and gets settled she should be back to normal. In the meantime, carefully pick your battles. Be available to take advantage of the good moods. This too shall pass.</p>
<p>You are right to see this as college anxiety, and she’s just taking it out in the safest place. I would not be too shy to say, very occasionally, that she is hurting your feelings, and would appreciate an occasional truce. I am still apologizing for being a complete pain to my mom, and that’s 30+ years gone now!</p>
<p>Practical ideas would be exercise – walking, hiking, canoeing,whatever — if you could do it together once in a while, that would be bond-y and less stressful. The harder it is, the better. Bet her something wonderful – a spa day, or something with her friends – if she can complete some herculean task (50 miles of biking, or whatever) . Redirect the anxious energy. YOU also need to get out, alone, to recharge and reaffirm that you are not the bad guy. </p>
<p>Weekend road trips are nice to cure summer cabin anxiety, too. But accept that she’s just gonna reject all attempts to be nice to her, and then in September you will become her best friend and she’ll reminisce about the great summer you had. Deega is right, this too shall pass.</p>