<p>My son and his 3 roommates live off campus. One of his roommates needed to sublet his room for the summer. So, the boys interviewed people off of Craigslist and found a subletter. He seemed nice enough and had a great internship. Now, he is showing signs real paranoid schizophrenia. No joke. </p>
<p>He has not paid June’s rent yet. The boys want him out. They do not really have any family contacts for him. </p>
<p>What can/should they do? They are truly worried about their safety.</p>
<p>I feel that any set of roommates should have the way to contact each other’s family in event of emergencies. Aside from this boy’s mental health situation, include this among the lessons you want your own son to take forward.</p>
<p>Can they contact the landlord to find out if that info was provided to the landlord?</p>
<p>A phone call of concern to the family might shed light on what the boy is doing now. If it’s a helpful family, the situation and behavior might be something that could be helped and made satisfactory if, for example, the student has run low on his own medicine. </p>
<p>I’ve seen young people take each others’ cellphones and look at the Contact list for “Mom.” If he no longer has a relationship with his own family, I don’t know how to advise, although if any behaviors are causing fear of a crime, perhaps it’s a matter to alert the police.</p>
<p>In some communities, there are crisis service centers (emergency phone hotlines). They’ll speak to the person in crisis OR the household, and might offer immediate household management suggestions or names of community resources for the roommate to pursue himself. Some centers also have outreach or advocacy programs that actually visit to assess and advise.</p>
<p>But I’m guessing the behaviors aren’t terrifying; rather this group of roommates isn’t accustomed to his behavior patterns. Is he making them uncomfortable by what he says and does…or frightening them by being ill… or threatening bodily harm to himself or them? Big differences. </p>
<p>If he’s not hurting himself or others, but people are frightened… maybe they can work on the medicine piece, then actually learn to work around and with his issues for the summer. </p>
<p>It’s hard to see these things from long-distance; I feel for you as a parent. It’s understandable that a group of boys’ first and only wish would be to eject him from their house, but I’m looking here for some gray area where they might actually be able to make the situation workable for the summer. (One year, our son’s household had a roommate with serious mental health issues, and figured him out enough to work with him and protect him from his worst triggers. They rallied around him and ended up with a roommate helpful in other ways. But they also knew of his personality before they all roomed together.)</p>
<p>Having a mentally ill person arrested isn’t pretty, either. Before that were to happen, I’m wracking my brain here for alternatives.</p>
<p>They really have no contact with the boy’s family and grabbing his cell phone will really set him off.</p>
<p>Calling a crisis service center may be a good idea. We will check into it.</p>
<p>The boy needs real help. It does not seem like there is a way the boys can live with him for the summer.</p>
<p>I wasn’t suggesting grabbing his cellphone - I was envisioning sneaking it from him while he slept. Or, make something up like: ask if they might have an emergency contact as they are all collecting them as a group… SUBTLETY. </p>
<p>Anyway, you responded positively about contacting a crisis service center. That’s something your son can do confidentially. I hope it helps.</p>
<p>Not clear exactly what is making them feel unsafe. Direct threats, words, dangerous behaviors not directed at them, but potentially harmful to all, watching him respond to command hallucinations, etc.? There is a difference between being uncomfortable around unusual behaviors and feeling threatened. The nature of their concerns will inform what should happen next and what options are available. Getting phone contacts as a group will help and lots of landlords do that routinely for this tenant cohort.</p>
<p>Are you nearby? If I was, I might want to have a visit and see for myself. Few are the college students who could successfully guide an unknown, paranoid peer to appropriate help and this might be too high a goal. Response to said help could take time and determining how workable this is for the others is important. Perhaps a crisis center could ask them basic questions to assess how serious the situation is, but that is only information, not a way of dealing with the situation or needs directly over time. </p>
<p>On rare occasions, a person would simply seek another place to live if they were told that a current household member had a friend, cousin, etc. who needed a place to live. That would skirt the issue completely, especially if there were “life-style” differences that could be highlighted. Like “you like to smoke and play music all night and I have asthma and have to be out the door at 6 am”. Normal room-mate trouble.</p>
<p>Good luck with this.</p>
<p>Wow, this sure brings back memories. In the 70s I found myself in the same situation. The summer subletter we had actually tried to commit suicide. I found empty bottles of pills in her room and remember calling a pharmacist, reading off the labels, and ending up bringing her to the ER. We also didn’t have any family contact info and I’m guessing the hospital contacted her family. She ended up being committed and we found out that this wasn’t her first suicide attempt and that she had been committed before. It was very scary.</p>
<p>I agree that calling a crisis hotline might be a good place to start.</p>
<p>Update: My son was able to get a hold of the sub-letter’s phone. He contacted the boy’s father. The father was quite concerned when he learned about his son, so he came and took the boy home to get some help. </p>
<p>I think there is a lesson to be learned from all of this.</p>
<p>Sounds like the best possible way for this to move forward on all fronts. Kudos to your son for stepping up to address this.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for that update.
What a relief. You had felt the boy needed help.
Bravo to your son, who communicated with a stranger’s parent effectively (not easy).
I’m grateful that the roommate;s dad listened (not always the case).</p>
<p>So relieved. This boy’s parents can be there for their son. </p>
<p>I have so much respect for young men who go out of their ways when worried about a classmate. Far better to err on side of caution than not.</p>
<p>Wow. Kudos to your son for reaching out to the boy’s family. I’m relieved that worked out. And I hope and pray that the young man will find the help he needs.</p>
<p>Wow–pretty scary. Sorta makes me glad our kids didn’t sublet–none of us need the extra stress and drama, even if it helps reduce costs. Glad your S was able to resolve this–props to him & it will help him have more confidence in handling future situations as they may arise.</p>
<p>I once read an account of the experience of rooming with Sylvia Plath during the summer that she described in The Bell Jar. It was VERY different from the other person’s POV. At least it can be hoped that this guy will not write a novel describing your S and his friends as the villains of the affair…</p>
<p>Good for them for stepping in in a diplomatic and effective way.</p>
<p>^^ what is that article called? I want to read it</p>
<p>I will just point out that schizophrenia and bipolar disorder are commonly first diagnosed in the late-teens and early-twenties. It is more than possible that the young man was showing symptoms for the first time.</p>
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<p>Or that he’s just different then the other boys who were already good friends. Maybe he’s an introvert and being quiet weirds them out. Maybe he’s really sad because he just broke up with a girl friend. If he’s talking to invisible people . . . well okay . . . but I’m quite uncomfortable with this thread, the innuendo but lack of actual observations offered to explain the OP’s and her son" certainty the young man is so ill. </p>
<p>Most parents getting a call like that would immediately want to get their kid away from kids who obviously disliked him to such a degree. Means very little, imo, that the parent came to get him out of there.</p>
<p>What exactly did the boy do that was so reprehensible? Just curious.</p>