@FallGirl I’m not always on here that much, so I just saw your post about your husband’s passing. I’m so, so sorry. My husband died 10 years ago, but sometimes it still feels like yesterday. I understand how selling the car could bring such sadness. It’s the little and big things together that made up the life we had.
Sending belated hugs as you make your way through all the changes.
DH’s car was always parked in the garage, closer to the house door. It was sad to have that open space. I’ve since put a card table there, which fills the space some — and it is actually useful.
I did a big round of clothes donations early in the process. (35 pairs of pants!?) It’s now time for me to do another round. I kept several Ralph Lauren button down shirts to make teddy bears for grandkids.
When my Dad was failing he was cold all the time (as my husband had been during cancer treatment). I gave my Dad some of DH’s smart wool clothing — believe it or not, a couple of pieces have come back to me following my Dad’s passing.
FallGirl, I hope each day is getting a bit easier.
Thank you @Mom22039 and @buenavista .
I have been doing ok, but the car…I didn’t feel as sad when I gave away the clothes.
I did keep a few articles of clothing . And he had a ton ( over 40! ) of Green Bay Packer T shirts. My kids divided them up and I am going to have them made into quilts for each of them . When I suggested that, my kids loved the idea.
I went to a concert tonight at a park near my house. It was lovely but when I heard “I Dreamed A Dream “ from Les Miz I started crying, just could not stop it. That song.
Cry all you want.
Whenever I hear “something I’m made for” (aka the Barbie song), I cry. A lot. You aren’t the only one out there in public with tears.
That song makes me cry every time.
I had a quilt made of my daughter’s hockey jerseys and was really happy with the job done by Repat. they sew the shirts together and then add a fleece backing, the teal in the pic. It’s not quilted, just sewn around the edge. IIRC it was less than $100 for a twin size, but of course I had a coupon. They have coupons at most every holiday (like labor day).
I could have done it myself, but this was really easier. And one big piece of thinner fleece for the backing instead of having to piece it.
I’ve done this for both kids with their favorite school/camp t-shirts. Project Repat is what I used and yes, they often have coupons. Came out great!
Yesterday I was talking about where we are with Christmas present ideas, and said well, we have your mom, my mom, and you have ideas for your dad, and my da—
I haven’t done that in a long time, reflexively forgotten that he’s gone. And I’ve been sad all week. I’m reading a book that includes this passage where a character’s partner has passed away after a very long illness
“She had existed and now she did not. Not at all, as if not ever. And people hurried around as if this outrageous fact could be overcome by making sensible arrangements. ..And before long he found himself outside, pretending that he had as ordinary and good a reason as anybody to put one foot ahead of the other” Alice Munro, Dear Life (short stories)
That’s a good quote. I was looking for a Shutterfly photo today. After my mom passed, I managed to figure out her password and retrieve her account. So I was looking through her years and years of photos, of all the overseas trips and visits to grandkids. It was so hard to see her smiling and happy, and now she is just GONE. So hard. 
My mother died three years ago. I am doing an end of life doula certificate program through UVM. I don’t have an intention to practice necessarily. It is just really helpful dealing with losses and my own health.
There was a thread about stories about the now-discontinued penny that spurred thoughts about my mom who died almost 3 years ago.
While going through her things (as her executor) I found a tall tin decorative can that encased a liquor bottle (holiday edition type of thing) that she had hacked a slot into the top, and turned it into a bank that she FILLED with wheat pennies. She thought they would have value, which they did not (only a very few wheat pennies have decent value).
After a cursory examination of them, I sold them to a coin dealer who bought them by weight. He said that many folks of that generation saved wheat pennies thinking their copper content would make them a nest egg.
I kept that commemorative tin–it gives me a smile everytime I see it.
My h used to save wheat pennies too - wonder if he still has them!
A sweet little idea your mom had. 
My great Aunt did that with dimes, and my mother kept the bucket. And now I have it. That great Aunt lived through inflation in Europe (Germany?) after WWI, and would talk about seeing people with wheelbarrows of money.
My dad saved steel nickels and steel pennies. At least coins don’t take up much space 
I have a very good friend who trained to be a death doula in retirement. She started as a hospice volunteer, and then decided to do the death doula. She was a medical professional, and she likes that it’s still “in that world” but not, if that makes any sense.
The news that Anthony Geary, who played Luke on the soap opera General Hospital, died hit me hard. I wasn’t sure why, and now I think I’ve got it. My mom and I watched General Hospital from the time I was a child too young to be watching that show (and All My Children and One Life to Live). I think Luke dying and all the memories I have with that show feels like another piece of her gone. Sigh.
Oh, no, I didn’t know that! Oh, that is sad. Part of my college experience, scheduling classes so that I could be back at the dorm to watch “General Hospital.”
I watched soap operas with my mom when I was too young. I remember “The Edge of Night” in particular because I asked her what “edge” meant. So she pantomimed a spider falling off the edge of the table. That’s how young I was, ha.
I lost my husband a couple weeks ago after a 10 year battle with cancer and I just need to vent a little. I didn’t expect today to affect me so badly but it did. We decided to donate his car to the Hospice group who helped so much in the final months and they came to pick it up this morning. That led to a long wait at DMV to turn in his tags and calls to Sirius to cancel his car radio and the toll authority to disable his transponder and another call to insurance to change our coverage. It feels like I’m deleting little parts of his life every day and it feels really crappy. My son has been incredible help during the past 6 months when things got really bad, but he doesn’t understand how I feel. He considers this streamlining and consolidating which is comforting to him, but it doesn’t feel very comforting to me.
Oh I am so sorry, for your loss and for the work that follows. Be gentle with yourself and come here often.
Is your son close by? Is there other family to lean on?
Your feelings are justified… vent away. Everybody grieves differently, and hopefully your son will learn to understand your viewpoints.
