Vent whenever you need! Your feelings are so valid and I’m sorry that your son doesn’t get this part of your grief.
@GRITS80 -I’m sorry. I lost my H in May and it’s very hard. The triggers that set off grief, the things that are unexpectedly painful and difficult, and even close family members who don’t understand.
Your feelings are your feelings and they are valid no matter what they are.
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We lost my fil this month.
I know that for my husband, he calls his mom, she talks about the small painful things. My husband isn’t sure how to respond so I wonder if it looks like he’s not
But he is and he cries after all the phone calls.
It’s a hard time of the year.
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My mother died three years ago. My father died (suicide) in 1966. I just finished the UVM end of life doula class and it included a lot of sharing about loss and grief. There is a follow-up course on grief and bereavement. Just wanted to let folks know about this when the time comes. It was healing in so many ways.
Holidays are so hard and with recent losses even harder. Best wishes to all.
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I thought this was beautiful
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Wow, that’s very touching.
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I’m not crying, you’re crying.
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My mom died in May. I haven’t had time to just sit and grieve because I headed right back in to health problems with H. Multiple hospital stays and long rehab - still there. And more to come. So another year of holidays with drama and really missing Mom.
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So sorry for your loss and the added burden of dealing with your H’s health problems. That sounds really hard. I hope you are able to find an opportunity for some peaceful, happy times soon.
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I’m so sorry, that would be overwhelming and exhausting. As for grieving, please don’t feel like you missed some optimal window – your loss is real no matter when you have time to feel it. Society wants us to hurry and “get over it” but everyone here understands that is nonsense.
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From guiding our HS students through the college process, to helping our kids launch into jobs or grad school, to our kids marrying and/or setting up their lives far from us, to dealing with our own health issues, to dealing with our partners’ health issues, to enjoying our grandkids, to seeing our partners decline and die – we’ve been here a long time, haven’t we. I find this forum to be very helpful – both in terms of practical advice and emotional support.
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The parent’s cafe has morphed into something very special
I thank the owner and moderators for their support for letting us become a community all these years
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So sorry for your loss and how tough it much be to have to do things that seem to further erase his life. Sending hugs and comfort.
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I’m having a really hard day, probably the worst since losing my husband to cancer 6 weeks ago. Unfortunately in those 6 weeks we also lost DH’s mother and my father. Then today I get a text from DH’s oldest, dearest friend telling me he has stage 4 pancreatic cancer with very little hope. I just don’t know how much more I can deal with at one time.
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I’m so so sorry. That is a hard day. Sending you lots of positive thoughts because there’s nothing else to say that feels adequate
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I’m so sorry @GRITS80. That’s a lot of loss and grief to deal with in a short time. Please take care of yourself and post here when you feel up to it. We care about you.
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Oh my that’s so much in such a short period of time. I’m sending good thoughts and energy your way.
So, so sorry. Such a lot.
Take good care; we are here for you.
Wow—give yourself a lot of grace and time. There’s no strict timeline for grief. You have to take as long as you need. Some find in person bereavement support groups invaluable (a friend in FL did when her H died)—others find therapist (my BIL preferred zoom therapist when his spouse and later his son died) or other means.
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My favorite quote for hard times, from Winston Churchill:
“When you are going through hell, keep going”
I am so sorry, that is a mountain of grief. Please come here for support. 
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