Yep. In our family, whoever cares the most wins. But that doesn’t mean that everyone else has to go on the trip with them. Good luck, sis!
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I have to wonder if your sister is going through some anger/emotional overload herself right now. I understand she has always been a bit of a pistol in our life but man, it seems she is harboring some angst right now.
I hope you’re trying to return to some of your typical daily routines of home life and can put these problems away for short periods of time. Save space for YOU!
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Just so you know–scooters are one of those things that are REALLY hard to return. Most medical equipment is. They require usually to be returned between 15-30 days, original packaging and unused. Even used one time pretty well prevents return. And then can require paperwork, and you get to deal with the company and return shipping costs plus restocking fees. As unreasonable as one may see this it’s just the way it works. She’d be much better off trying to sell it and IMO just donating as you have already suggested (turn it into something good to remember mom).
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I told her today that we are in the anger stage of grief right now.
I do think it’s interesting how weird she seems to be about money. I’m not worried at all but she seems to be wanting to account for every penny.
I thought we could pay for my daughter’s flight since a) I told my sister and niece that I didn’t want D to come because she has a lot going on b) my daughter told me that my niece was grieving also c) my niece told my daughter needed to come d) just because
I might offer to pay for D’s flight out of our account. But I won’t ask for my mom’s estate to.
I did however tell my sister that she needs to reimburse herself for her flight from Florida where she was snowbirding and that she was welcome to pay for my aunt’s flight.
To me, it’s a small thing and I’m good. My mom didn’t have much to give us.
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Are these maybe related? It seems like a response in protecting mom. I can see that happening in other dealings I’ve had.
I’m not sure what it’s about. Seems out of character
No idea whether this is the case, but sometimes people try to exercise control as a way to gain equilibrium. And fixating on the money is one thing she feels she can control. If you don’t really care, I’ve give her this “win,” but, yeah, I’m not that motivated by money either.
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Today is the panic attack portion of grief. So worried about some administrative duties and a mistake I might have made in mom’s last days. I’m sure it will turn out ok but today my worry hat is on.
In good news, it’s so amazing how organized my mom was! I’m able to find all the stuff (insurance policy for one) I was worried about finding.
Mom was goals for being organized. And for Swedish death cleaning! It was easy to clean out her apartment because she was organized and did not like clutter.
My kids should be so lucky. Not sure that they will be!
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Well, thank goodness for small favors. I hope to do the same for my kids.
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There is no training in being an executor as a family member. I think we all have some stumbles along the way - I sure did! I don’t hesitate to say to whoever I was dealing with that I was not the most informed on the processes so please talk to me like I’m a first grader trying to understand 
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I remember those panic moments well. It was the first time I had ever had to do settle an estate and really had no idea what I was doing. Thankfully the attorney walked me through most things but there were definitely some missteps. Just remember that everything is correctable and it will be OK!
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Preferred sibling was really focused on personally handling the sale of any items he thought were valuable or important. Despite the fact that my mother does not need the money, at all, and it was slowing us down cleaning out the house because he had to be consulted on so many things. He was perpetually saying “oh, I will take care of that” and it was really irritating me since I just wanted to make some progress and he wanted everything on EBay. I did eventually make a certain peace with “that’s what he needs to get through this” but never did understand it. In contrast, Local Sibling could not be cajoled into coming to the house to get anything (DH and I were tasked with a lot of the sorting and piling). I had big moving boxes, one for each of us, and would chuck stuff I thought they should have into the right box for later pickup. But Local just kept not coming out, and one day I actually looked at them and realized that despite how unconcerned they were, it was all grief. So I brought the box to them. I took our father’s camera out, handed it to them, and we had a nice cry over that.
It’s just hard, and comes in waves, and whatever gets you through the day that is legal is fair game 
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Today I’m calmer.
The thing I was worried about, I made a phone call and got it fixed. Also I think nothing is going to have to go to probate so that’s wonderful
I checked, my dad passed away in 2012. Mom was very organized and complete in changing things when dad died. It’s a marvel how well she handled all the paperwork. I know she was sure she wouldn’t live very long after dad so I suppose she wanted to have everything in order.
Mom lived in an apartment, sold her car earlier this year. No utilities, all were part of her IL. She somehow put beneficiaries on all of her accounts that I can find.
What I am finding out is that as mom got older, she didn’t have the organizational skills that she had in 2012. For instance, she never changed her address for her Medicare supplement. She also spelled her name wrong on her Medicare card and supplement. So odd, I wonder why. I’m sure she wouldn’t have been able to recall what happened either.
I guess these are the things we find out after our parents are gone.
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Each paper you find/read is like a little window into their day/life. 
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Maybe it was not her mistake. My name was spelled wrong on my SS card! And believe me, I know how to spell my name. This was a data entry error. The wrong spelling happened when I got married. It was my first name that was spelled wrong.
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Yep- Mine was misspelled too!! I got it fixed. but sheesh!
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That is so interesting
It was mom’s first name. Thankfully I found her social security card because the funeral director says that if the spelling is wrong it can be an issue for them to notify SS
My name spelling was easily corrected. If you have other documents with the correct spelling, maybe reach out to Medicare to find out how to change it all…if that is even necessary.
I called Humana today to ask about canceling her supplement. They said the misspelling wasn’t a problem as long as the birthdate was correct. And that social security cancels Medicare and the supplement.
They added a letter to mom’s first name.
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Perfect! That was easy!!