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<p>This actually happened to my mom. Forced her into an early retirement. Her ten-person practice kicked her out of her office “because she was part-time” (the kicker? my mom was a therapist, and these were her fellow therapists that fired her). They sent her a letter, to the hospital, in the most cowardly maneuver I’ve ever witnessed. She suffered an understandable setback and stayed in the hospital another month.</p>
<p>I wonder about human beings sometimes.</p>
<p>Another lurker/admirer here, LateToSchool. I am sure there are hundreds of us that return to this thread frequently without posting. I am coming out of the woodwork today to assure you that you have made a major contribution to caregiving by posting your story. I guarantee I will be much better in a support role if/when members of my family or extended group of friends need me having read your story. You have given me very valuable insights, for which I am grateful. My thoughts are often with you.</p>
<p>LTS, even though I do not post often on this thread, I keep you in my daily prayers. I’m amazed at your resilience. A person who is undergoing blood transfusions and chemo treatments and being able to do her work at the same time is a truly special one.</p>
<p>LTS,
your comment about being touched by a caregiver hit home with me…I have a brother -in -law who is a quad…injured at early age…married and has 2 kids…who has always been an inspiration to me…because he remains optimistic and always has a lot of plans and aspirations…and is so game for most anything…and I know that one of the few things that made him sad over the years was the lack of physical contact from friends… rarely do folks even make real eye contact with him…but, almost no one ever touches him. We encouraged/taught our boys to climb onto his lap or stand on the foot pedals and ride around on his wheelchair with him…because of his telling me about this lack of touch, I always hug him when I see him at the kids sports events or whatever…he is not “sick” but he also doesn’t ever get that touchy feely reinforcement that some take for granted… so I think it is an important part of life…to connect… </p>
<p>One of our co-workers had throat cancer several years ago (at the age of 37) and we all took turns going with him for his treatments… it helped everyone in the picture…the patient, ourselves, folks waiting for their treatments…as often it is the same group of folks cycling in and out on a routine… we provided a bit of comic relief, or just variety… </p>
<p>I know that it is not easy to make room for one more thing in our days… but if we do, it pays greater dividends than one can imagine… </p>
<p>wishing you 24 Hours of what YOU want…</p>
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<p>–Ovid<br>
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<p>and two more</p>
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<p>[Towson</a> Times](<a href=“http://news.mywebpal.com/news_tool_v2.cfm?show=localnews&pnpID=659&NewsID=905455&CategoryID=1840&on=1]Towson”>http://news.mywebpal.com/news_tool_v2.cfm?show=localnews&pnpID=659&NewsID=905455&CategoryID=1840&on=1)</p>
<p>Aibarr, thank you for sharing that - you start to see the problem. And I have matters like that show up on my desk every single day…it’s a very, very challenging problem. </p>
<p>But there’s another side to it. A microbusiness or small business is accountable to its clients and other employees; the directors/owners have a responsibility to meet the top and bottom lines, and, that means managing costs efficiently. It’s very expensive for a small business to provide decent health benefits, and, when a member of the group gets very sick, the insurance company sure isn’t going to lose, so, guess who gets hit with the premium increase? The employer has at least a tentative responsibility to other employees, who in turn have families to support, etc. At a minimum there is a responsibility to serve the existing clients, and that means keeping the business financially viable. </p>
<p>Added to that, the moral issues - when an organization works out like the one described in maineparent’s post, that’s great. And I do also get a lot of information about organizations that go above and beyond to support a very sick employee. But these are outliers; the more realistic outcome is that when the employer has to consider one employee’s cancer, they must or at least should treat equally the next employee’s cardiac condition and/or any number of other issues that can come up across the enterprise that require time off work. It’s very expensive to cover a position where the incumbent isn’t present, or isn’t productive. So it’s not surprising that people with cancer get fired. </p>
<p>The sad part of it is, without something to look forward to, without something very meaningful and interesting to reach for beyond the world of cancer, doctors, hospitals, treatment environments, etc., I think it becomes very hard for people to survive serious health challenges. To have the glimmer of light extinguished even while one is stuck in a hospital bed is simply unthinkable.</p>
<p>Intransition, thank you for coming out of lurking. I am always curious to know who may want to know more, or if there are any questions out there that people would like to see addressed but that haven’t come up yet in dialog. </p>
<p>As Epistrophy’s (simply cannot say thank you often enough to Epitrophy) latest post indicates, sooner or later everyone will know of someone with cancer. My numbers say one out of four Americans; European numbers say one out of three??? In any event, the five year survivor and I will see what we can do respective to the support of caregivers. We cannot impact anything else, at least not right now.</p>
<p>Inspiring leadership by Governor of Delaware- from her web page </p>
<p>Gov. Minner has championed a comprehensive fight against high cancer rates, with $15 million in her first term for increased education, screening and treatment, the creation of a cancer registry to identify cancer case “hot spots” or environmental causes, a first-in-the-nation program to pay for cancer treatment for those who cannot afford it, and the Clean Indoor Air Act, which has reduced cancerous pollutants in Delaware’s restaurants, bars, and casinos by more than 90 percent.
A total of $37.5 million has been allocated during the Gov.’s administration for cancer treatment, screening, education, and prevention programs. </p>
<p>Through her efforts, Delaware’s cancer incidence rate has decreased four times as much as the national average, and our cancer death rate has declined twice as much as the national rate</p>
<p>I just wanted you to know that we are here, LTS, we are here. I vividly remember the Verizon network image 1500 posts ago. Know that I’ve stood proudly in that group, silent but present, watching your back as you slowly made your way up long flights of steps, cheering you on as you confronted each challenge along the way, melting into the background while your daughter took charge, moving a bit forward now as things are temporarily in a rough patch.</p>
<p>LTS, thank you for bringing out the best in so many members of our community - and “bringing out” some lurkers as well! 
YOU are inspiring and so are they!
You will never know all the good your sharing of your story has already done.</p>
<p>I have not been posting much lately but have been following your developments closely. Sounds like your docs and you make an excellent team. The new regimen may be rough – but then, many successfully waged battles are.</p>
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<p>Thanks for sharing that, busyparent. I have been contemplating ways to use my time wisely when our youngest S leaves the nest this fall. I like to cook, and I think I would enjoy serving someone in this way. I will see if there is a similar group in my area.</p>
<p>Also, for several years I have had a dream about what I want to do when the kids leave home. I was thinking about what a waste it is to have this big 4 bedroom house for just H and I. Our Bible study teacher at church is a cancer survivor and is very involved in working with patients at M.D. Anderson, a large cancer center about 30 minutes from our home. People travel here from all over for treatment. </p>
<p>So, that started me to thinking that perhaps H and I could host patients and/or their families when they come to town for treatment. That could not only save them a significant amount of money, but we could cook for them and give them some TLC while they are here.</p>
<p>Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing if because of LTS’s struggles, some of us here came to know of ways we could really meet some needs in the lives of cancer patients, and then actually did those things?</p>
<p>I found when I was undergoing chemo (which ended last week yeah!) that people who I never thought of as close friends volunteered to help out. They gave my kids rides, made meals, took me to chemo when I couldn’t drive myself. There are many people in church communities who are willing to help, sometimes they just need the direction.
I had a wonderful experience to today with the mammogram tech. I had to have a post lumpectomy/post chemo mammo. of just my affected breast. I was having it at the same center where I was diagnosed. The whole week I have been crabby with my kids and husband not knowing why.
When she sat down with me to ask me some questions, she looked at me and said it must be hard coming back here. That was all it took and the floodgates opened. She came over to me and hugged me tightly and just let me cry. She was also a cancer survivor and we spoke about how it has changed us as health care workers going through chemo/radiation/testing.
What a wonderful blessing she was to me today.</p>
<p>Keymom, you raise an important point. Sometimes people want to help very badly, but have no idea what to do, where to step, and where to read the boundaries. And the caregiver relationship is almost never perfect, I don’t think. It’s perfect with my daughter, but with no one else. And I think that’s probably o.k. - everyone involved has to be honest. </p>
<p>Last week during chemotherapy, a very nice, kind friend handed me a pear to eat. Straight from the store with the produce sticker still on it. I had to say to her, um, thank you, I’m very hungry, could we maybe we wash it first? Of course everyone who has been through chemotherapy knows better but somehow it didn’t occur to her to wash the fruit. Well, actually, you’re supposed to wash fruit, period, cancer patient or not. My friend isn’t stupid. Undergrad at Georgetown, masters at Tufts. Brother, ph.d. from Princeton. My age, very nice career. She just wasn’t thinking. Multiple this out over the entire cancer experience and there are many, many missteps that caregivers make along the way, without meaning to. (And it’s very hard to make a request like “please wash the fruit for me” when the person has already taken a day off work to sit with you through chemotherapy, and then went to buy food, and refuses to take the money for the food. And I couldn’t wash the pear myself at that moment.)</p>
<p>Timely, that’s an awesome idea, if MD Anderson will cooperate. Everyone we know who travels to the cancer centersd for trials etc. struggles to pay for hotel housing…</p>
<p>timely: How impressive to want to open your home like that. Perhaps you can inspire me as well to think of something I can do.</p>
<p>LTS: So sorry to hear of your tribulations. Will step up my prayers/thoughts.</p>
<p>I just bought a pair of high-heeled (sort of for me) red scandals dedicated to you. You’ll be with me every step.</p>
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<p>Typo, Mythmom?</p>
<p>oh, ha,ha!</p>
<p>I think mythmom could hold her own with scandals too!</p>
<p>mythmom, I was just thinking today that in honor of LTS, we should create - (a la The Red Hat Society) - the Red Heel Society.</p>
<p>The Red Heel Society - great idea! Sign me up! (Even though I haven’t worn heels in years.)</p>
<p>Well, a heel would be anything that is even slighlty higher in the back than the front (though I picture LTS’d red heels to be at least 3 inches), so we can all join!</p>