Support for LateToSchool

Parent Cafe
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<p>Mythmom, I apologize for the negative tone of my post (it has been a very long day), and I didn’t intend to blame the victims of this - I was more trying to explain why I didn’t think - based on only 30 days to evaluate the situation - money for research right at this moment would be very impactive, and, that I believe that the social stigma of this particular type of lung cancer (fair or not) is the driving part of it, and, anyway, I expressed it all very poorly. </p>

<p>There isn’t enough brain trust or money to go around for cancer research. And there are other cancers that are easier to “sell”, because the victims are children, or mothers, or provoke sympathy in ways that a smoker simply cannot do. I do not mean to be critical and say that one group is good and the other bad or somehow “less good” but at the end of the day it’s all about people, and I believe people are drawn to causes that resonate with them. People who engage in risky behavior such as smoking when the evidence and the message is everywhere anout the harm it does make it harder for people to be sympathetic, or motivated to want to help, or, at least that’s how I see it. I am not trying to “blame” smokers as much as I am trying to articulate why there is not a lot of political will for this. There are hundreds of different sorts of cancers and each one is evidently very different and requires entirely different solutions. The challenge is that scientists are evidently stuck with trying to solve/cure one cancer at a time, and, there are a lot of cancers that are far out in front of lung cancer in terms of research dollars etc. </p>

<p>As far as demonstrating how important my recovery is to the CC community, please know that when I first wrote my post, never did I expect such a thread - and I certainly never expected to receive anything back such as the numerous prayers, the terrific information that has saved me so much time, the very kind, gracious and generous thoughts, and the information that I have received in PMs that in many cases I still have not even answered, including the referral to the specialist from the CC member. The importance of my well being has been expressed very, very clearly to me by the CC community and this message is restated to me daily. I am simply overwhelmed by the support I have received here. I am astonished by it, actually. I was not expecting this at all. I don’t even feel like I deserve it because there are other members of the CC community with problems - perhaps different problems but still serious problems - who are NOT getting support, PMs, prayers, etc., because no one knows they have a problem. It is not necessary to donate money to demonstrate further concern for me. Plus, I simply do not know enough yet to even be able to offer a credible opinion as to where to donate money - I just do not have anywhere near enough information. I could serve up some answer but I would just be wildly guessing. </p>

<p>I also do understand - and am grateful - that people want to do something, beyond writing posts. I want to do something, too. I want to start the mother of all wars and destroy this problem for everyone it impacts with my bare hands and I want to do it within 48 hours. But I don’t know how to do that yet. I cannot figure out yet where to strategically and usefully attack the problem, given that I have limited resources, sort of like $1.00 per thread view represents limited funds (considering $18,000-ish when one chemotherapy cycle is $20,000 and it takes six such cycles to significantly reduce this cancer). But even if the CC community could generate 100 times the money, I am not sure what happens if you don’t have the researchers and scientists to actually do the work. </p>

<p>Bottom line, I just cannot credibly answer the question. I wanted to suggest to start a CC scholarship for the children of all CC community members who encountered some serious health challenge that was impactive to their (financial) ability to attend college, but, then, I realized the FAFSA algorithm probably takes care of that.</p>

<p>Sax and others, it’s an outstanding idea and generous suggestion; it needs further thought and dialog by perhaps the more senior CC members who can perhaps evolve it a bit.</p>

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<p>LateToSchool: I was not blaming you. Just frustrated at others that this Neanderthal thinking should effect your recovery in any way. Please have a re****l night.</p>

<p>edit: I can’t understand those asterisks. I said, full of rest (in one word).</p>

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<p>mythmom: the letters left out are an acronym for a nasty comment not permitted here.</p>

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<p>Mythmom:
the four letters missing from your word are a common abbreviation for
“shut the **** up”.</p>

405

<p>Thanks. Oh dear, I hate no idea! Well, full of rest it is from now on.</p>

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<p>LTS, how happy I am you have found a long term survivor of your cancer!!! This is GREAT news.</p>

<p>SB</p>

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<p>I guess there’s a lesson in that, too. Most of us can’t get “full of rest” until the neighborhood quiets down, or said differently, everyone shuts the “fireplace” up.</p>

<p>Rest, LTS, we are with you!</p>

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<p>Bottom line:</p>

<p>If everyone would do <em>something</em>–whether giving a small amount to research, becoming a sponsor or walker in a “Walk for the Cure” or even a larger project–then latetoschool’s troubles will have generated much good.</p>

<p>In our community we lost a wonderful, loving person to breast cancer. Her large family and circle of friends continue to hold an annual fundraiser that she helped start. This year it raised an enormous sum of money and everyone who helped in any way knew that some good had come of our terrible loss.</p>

<p>Latetoschool needs now to concentrate on her big fight. All good to her!</p>

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<p>She’s telling us that these prayers and thoughts are helping her, too… so that’s good.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>mommusic, that’s truth right there</p>

<p>and this:

</p>

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<p>mommusic et al…yes, I think you did hit the bottom line…just “do” something and it appears that this is probably the way to go here. </p>

<p>LTS: Somehow through your words and sharing of your life these last few years you have really greatly impacted people here on CC. It is really incredible, isn’t it…the power of your written word. It is also incredible that these same people can in turn have a great impact on you with the power of prayer as we pray for your strength of mind and body. Just know as your battle rages on your cc army will contiinue holding you up with their faith. Battle on.</p>

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<p>LTS - even with what you are going through you are sparing your emotional capital to apologize on a thread that is support of you.</p>

<p>Where on earth do you find the strength? Well, it’s been clear from Day 1, before this new development, that you are strong. I guess we are finally seeing just how strong. Don’t worry about our desire to do something. Not your job to take care of us:). </p>

<p>Thank you for this thread. Thank you for sharing what you are experiencing. We get as much or even more maybe than you do from it.</p>

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<p>I tune in to this thead every day, and my heart and head are renewed. Am sending you light and blessings every day. Your travails with the health care industry are illuminating, and I love that you are tuning into the dietary and spiritual aspects of the disease, and sharing what you learn. You are teaching us so much with your honesty about this experience, and unfortunately many of us will have reason to need your insight at some point.</p>

<p>A suggestion, as some have suggested a little difficulty with saying ‘Late to School’ in public prayer or blessing, might you be willing to take on a more standard moniker for this purpose? An alias inside an alias? Layers of naming, but we know who you are inside!</p>

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<p>Nanna is old norse for “brave.” That could work. :)</p>

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<p>There are many ways this thread is having positive effect. This is a tiny example, but I was in the grocery yesterday and picked up 2 chapsticks to give to the sister of a chemo patient. I know I’ll be seeing the sister at my bookgroup Thurs. night. I learned chapstick was helpful on this thread. More importantly, the thread raised my consciousness to think about “Who around me is undergoing this kind of treatment?” I know a chapstick is nothing, really, but feel as though the sister will feel good she was thought of. Her sister says she’s in that long-haul stage where she’s not front-and-center on everyone’s mind, just coping and doing the treatments.</p>

<p>And so this caused me to think again about this thread, on my mind as on so many others who check in. We were trying to identify something concrete to do, and LTS made it clear that these “thoughts and prayers” really DO help her take courage in her task of fighting back. (I keep wondering if “fighting” is the best word, wondering if “giving over to the healing process” is more like it, but never having been there I just don’t know the most helpful language…)</p>

<p>LTS has written several times that she is cognizant of “others on CC” who are struggling to reclaim their own health. I get the sense she is almost hesitant to accept all the support when she knows others are also needful in various ways for good wishes on their health. And yet hers is so serious nobody would want to take anything from her. </p>

<p>So I wonder if we could at least start a second thread to send good wishes to all the others striving for their health, dealing with the medical care system in that way that dominates a large portion of one’s life. The collective thoughts and prayers could go to others that way. I did see a thread a while back for those supporting each other on physical exercise, and it seemed to give them strength. </p>

<p>I wonder if this is a good approach. If enough people agree, then someone could throw open a second thread for others in need of thoughts and prayers, while still maintaining LTS’s thread. Hers is TOO IMPORTANT-- essential to maintain! – since she has told us it does help her, a lot, to read it. It was LTS’s own generous concern for “OTHERS” as she says, that even made me think of this.</p>

<p>What do you all think? I’d rather someone else do it, perhaps Sax who wanted to do something very much. THoughts? It’s just a brainstorm here, nothing more nothing less, so if it’s a lame idea, okay say so…</p>

<p>LTS, it is a good thing the sun comes up each day for another new chance. You work so hard on your professional job, but it must be that it gives you energy. I know people like that! I hope your daughter is well; isn’t it nice to just look at her?</p>

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<p>Paying3tuitions, thank you so much for your post; that is what I have been thinking as well. In my PMs I have notes from others who are in struggles with other sorts of cancers. In addition, in the process of collecting my weapons and taking inventory of all of the tools I have to fight with, I have been studying this cancer very intently. It’s fascinating, really, once you manage to choke back the terror and horror of your own mortality and the specificity of the battle to come. To fight an enemy like this, it is necessary to get to know it very, very well, up close and personal, very intimately. (I am going to try to get a look at it under the microscope if someone will let me.) My cancer doubles in size every thirty days, if left untreated. It tricks the immune system. It disguises itself. It can change its DNA, weekly, if it wants. It quickly defeats drugs and chemos. But in the process of studying this cancer, I have been reading about other types of cancers, because I have been curious how they all compare, and how they are different, and how they may be similar. What I have learned is simply shocking and horrifying. There are some cancers where the cells double so quickly, the patients have to have radiation therapy twice daily because there is no other way to fight the growth. There are others that are so horrible disfiguring and that impair quality of life so drastically that it almost seems hopeless, if you are not the one who has that particular cancer. Then there are some cancers that are simply so strange and frightening that you just have to wonder what in the world has happened to our environment that this weird stuff comes out of nowhere, and the brilliant scientists cannot get ahead of it. </p>

<p>The health care machine isn’t always helpful, as I and others have already pointed out. For example, just yesterday, I was on the website of a reasonably ranked cancer hospital (not a center). I am not considering this facility but I am considering another one close by, and, I wanted to get some basis of comparison. This particular hospital has a cancer unit, and, they actually have a “survival predictor” for breast cancer patients. Curious, I clicked on it, to see how helpful it might be for someone with this cancer. Once there, the patient could choose “white” or “black” or “female under 50” or “over 50” and “stage at diagnosis” and so on. Click a few more times, and it basically tells you, o.k., you’re going to die in one year or five years or whatever the number, and, bottom line, you absolutely, totally, will be stone cold dead of this in X number of years, period, end of story. The web page did have some disclaimer on it, however, that cannot possibly be of any comfort at all to the terrified women who are newly diagnosed and trying to make sense of and come to terms with what will be a very difficult journey. I cannot for the life of me imagine what is the sense in putting something so fatalistic, so definitive on a website. </p>

<p>All of the people who will be inflicted with these cancers are going to travel a road no less frightening. They are going to be in need of support, prayer, hope, positive influences, kindness, and everything else that can be done for them.</p>

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<p>I think that paying3 had very good suggestion too. I am sure that there are posters who are also going through tough medical situations. On a personal note, of my H’s friends just had a spouse who had to undergo a very very risky heart valve replacement this week because of endocarditis. The surgery was extremely high risk, but there were no other options, and the doctor said that death was certain without the surgery. I am happy to report that this person made it through the surgery this week, and now has a long journey to recovery.</p>

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<p><a href=“http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/606077,CST-FTR-lifecancer17.article[/url]”>http://www.suntimes.com/lifestyles/606077,CST-FTR-lifecancer17.article&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>Very good article. I am familiar with crazysexycancer.com, as a friend sent it to me a couple of weeks ago. </p>

<p>“A bull is charging” - and you have NO training as a bull fighter and don’t know the first thing about bulls - is exactly what this is like. </p>

<p>I wonder if you can imagine that you are happily going through your life. There are sooooo many wonderful, happy things in play and what more could you ask for. And this long horizon and wonderful plans, some of which you have been waiting 20 years to be able to do. Then, you don’t feel well. You go to the doctor. Some time is wasted looking for the possible source of an allergy. You spend some time answering questions about what new foods did you eat, did you pet any new animals, buy any new plants, travel anywhere weird etc. You’re sent home and told to take Benedryl. Some more time is wasted on this incorrect course of action. You go back to the doctor. You end up in the ER. In < 48 hours you go from “Benedryl didn’t work” to “your life expectancy is approximately four to eight months”. </p>

<p>This is the charging bull. But - great news - I’m a bull, too. We’ll just see who wins this. :)</p>

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<p>It’s awful how fast this has happened to you. The bull doesn’t even CARE if you’ve been a vegetarian your whole life; he’s gonna charge anyway (Rabbi Harold Kushner).</p>

<p>Tough on the bull, though. As a townperson said about Ms. Rosa Parks when she was arrested in Birmingham, “Mmm, mmm, they messed with the wrong one this time!”</p>

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<p>LTS, your image of the charging bull reminds me of the scene in the move “Michael,” where he charges a bull and pretty much wins. That’ll be you!</p>