<p>This afternoon, D and I were at the shoe store, each buying some red heels. I was trying to explain LTS to her, but like others have posted, it’s hard to begin to describe how well we all knew her, anonymously. </p>
<p>Somewhere in there, it hit me…we are all reeling, but can you imagine the response from her business associates, and extended acquaintenances? LTS worked so hard not to let cancer define her, and she was adamant to tell people on a “need to know” basis. Maybe that changed in the last few weeks, but to personally know someone so strong and determined, and then find out that she’s been battling cancer without your knowing it, dealing with her loss has got to be extremely difficult.</p>
<p>(P.S. Someone asked if ADad was still on vacation; according to the pm he sent me before he left [with a bunch quotes to post in his absence], he expected to be back and posting again on 8/24.)</p>
<p>maineparent, I also had a premonition. I was praying for LTS as I watched the Olympics (LTS would be proud of my multitasking, which is why I mention it), when I suddenly had a feeling of calm that washed over me. I almost posted when it happened … it was just before 11, I believe. I didn’t want to sound like I was being negative, so I refrained from posting. I was not surprised to find the news posted this morning … which is not to say that I wasn’t saddened. I had hoped that my instinct was wrong.</p>
<p>I have found such hope in this thread, and I have felt such a connection with LTS & all the other posters. It’s kind of hard to explain to the rest of the world, though, that I mourn someone I never knew. The thing is, though, I feel as if I DO know her. </p>
<p>It’s good that we have a place to work out our feelings.</p>
<p>Epistrophy…
thank you for posting for ADad…
thank you for so accurately sensing our needs with your posts…</p>
<p>emotional intelligence is a big thing to me…and I think you have a variation of it called cyber emotional intelligence…you have a sense of what is needed for others to hear…and you stayed committed to posting on this thread. </p>
<p>someone posted earlier about how “there is nothing Lord that you and I cannot bear” and my knowledge of that piece is actually “there is nothing Lord that you and I TOGETHER cannot bear” … faith is important to me, not “organized religion” per se, which has a place…but rather, faith in a greater good, faith in an ultimate arbiter… I love the idea of paying it forward… and I personally think that our world has gotten so progressive and distributed that we are losing some of the warm fuzzies in life… that reinforce good, community types of behaviors… nurturing behaviors… supportive behaviors… </p>
<p>there are many wonderful, soulful, candid voices on CC… I like the dialogs here very much… and in some ways, I view CC as a petri dish for all of our hopes and wishes for good, meaningful lives for ourselves and our kids. </p>
<p>I do want LTS’s daughter to know that her mother sought another venue for feedback, reinforcement, support… and the one she chose was one she first entered on behalf of her daughter… pretty cool to know that her daughter provided her with a new group of friends…</p>
<p>make new friends but keep the old is such a wonderful mantra… I love some of my new friends as though I have known them forever…doesn’t take as long to check one another out…as we age, it is easier to quickly asses and say yes, I want to know you better…</p>
<p>LTS is now advocating her causes in front of GOD… you go girl… remember, the Pope has red shoes too!! seriously, I saw an article about the current Pope’s shoes… he has red shoes…and so she is traveling in good company… regardless of her own beliefs…or anyone elses… it is great to be well shod!!!</p>
<p>I am a long-time lurker (been on CC for the last five years) who has floated around this thread but never posted. I just read the last 295 pages sobbing, but also inspired by the goodness and love of everyone on it, especially LTS herself. You all are truly unbelievable.</p>
<p>When my son left for college, I told him that life would not throw anything at him that he couldn’t handle–as long as he asked for and accepted help. I think LTS has been a brilliant example of accepting help and the gift this has been for the helpers is obvious. I hope this is clear–I think some people need to be helpful as much as other people need help.</p>
<p>There is both an overwhelming sadness at this loss and feeling so lucky to have been let into LTS’s life and her journey at the same time. Yet, all day I found myself suddenly crying and how do you explain this and these feelings to the the people in your presence? </p>
<p>I had told my D about LTS a few months ago when she made a comment about how many times a day I checked in on CC, as if I had a problem. I told her quite a while ago it wasn’t really about college, that it had become secondary. It was now about the people, it was so much about LTS. </p>
<p>Today she understood, and said " Mommy I am so sorry you lost a friend"</p>
<p>OMG - I was away travelling and did not check CC for a couple of days.
Had a crying spell in the bathroom , trying to explain to the family WHY.</p>
<p>As an oncology nurse - I was expecting it, but not so soon, she seemed to be so much in control!</p>
<p>LTS - I can’t wait to meet you in heaven. Please wait for me there and say “I am LTS, from CC, remember?”
I love you.
Ania</p>
<p>This thread has been the main reason that I have stayed on this board. It is now time to say goodbye. I will PM Marite and Mythmom for contact information if and when I can contribute to the Red Heels Foundation. I hope that I will be as brave as LTS when my time comes. Tennyson wrote up his farewell poem long before his time, and I leave it here. Goodbye and Keep Well,</p>
<p>Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.</p>
<p>Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;</p>
<p>For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.</p>
<p>PA DAD, I thank you for contributing to this thread. I always felt you were always preparing LTS for what would happen next. Your posts contained medical information and a deep spirituality. Often I would google the poet you quoted, or something you referenced. You enriched me- TY .</p>
<p>padad, your responses to LTS were very meaningful and timely. Most grateful for your sticking around to share your perspectives at crucial moments with her.</p>