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<p>I sure hope that is a myth, and I believe that it is a myth, but I may be wrong.</p>
<p>I am glad that you are feeling well. I can’t believe how quickly you are able to move to accomplish things. I find you to be just amazing.</p>
<p>Glad you are feeling well and that you have made a decision on where to receive your care–I know that was weighing on you. Given the excellent research skills you have shown on this thread, I’m sure you picked a great team that will fight just as hard as you are.</p>
<p>You’re an inspiration, but don’t be afraid to be human, too…</p>
<p>Take care yourself and know that CC is looking out for you.</p>
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<p>Words fail me.</p>
<p>Wolfpiper, thank you for that, although I try to keep the more negative side of things out of the thread. I do get sad every now and then, however, it doesn’t help anyone to give in to negative thinking so I try very hard not to let it get to me. Typically though it gets to me when I want to research things on the internet, and, I have to drill through the horrible statistics and obituaries and - even more frustrating, when I’m reading medical studies of trials or other research efforts, the authors will package up and tie a ribbon around an otherwise flawless scientific document with the phrase “…this horrible disease that we cannot control”…yuck. Not a confidence builder and thanks doctors I know the numbers, but, do they have to say so over and over again? So, to save my sanity, today, it was offered that I am to send my questions to my support and they will do my research and send me back only those URLs that will answer my question. Works for me because the statistics and the facts aren’t going to improve any time soon. They have not improved in 40 years. </p>
<p>Northeastmom that is kind of the danger of this thing - no symptoms most of the time. In the past week I have met two persons in their 30’s, also non smokers, who have this. </p>
<p>I also forgot to post, for anyone considering a career in medicine, I read that by 2011 it is projected that there will not be enough oncologists in the U.S. to meet the need - too few of them and too many people with cancer…</p>
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<p>I think that this is a really good idea if you can stick to it. I know that I would still be reading what I did not want to read.</p>
<p>LTS, Thank you so much for updating. I do hope it helps in those hours after dark, as you put it, to know that there are many, many friends out there. Speak out loud to us all you want/need to, for we are there for you. You are not alone! And, as always, you are in our prayers.</p>
<p>LTS, I have another perspective o the phrase you quote (“… this horrible disease that we cannot control”) What this implies to me is the frustration the oncologists must feel at their inability to cure the great majority of people with this particular disease. This expression of frustration is not relevant to you - you already know that long-term survival is rare - and even if you achieve the happy outcome we are all rooting for, it will not change the statistics, and that phrase will still appear. If you can, ignore these kinds of statements.</p>
<p>In those dark moments, think of your army here, thinking of you and sending positive thoughts.</p>
<p>LTS:</p>
<p>I’m very glad that you are not having bad side effects from the chemo. It does affect people very differently. I also like the idea of having other people do the internet research. It’s both depressing and time-consuming. You have better things to do. And remember, statistics are only useful up to a point.</p>
<p>When I was sick, I, like you, tried to think positive thoughts. So here is
a tidbit of news I hope will cheer you up: We had a wonderful fall day up here. The sun was shining on leaves that had turned glorious colors. Perfect for Head of the Charles. The Patriots won their game, the Sox seem to be winning theirs (knock on wood). We went to a wonderful concert this afternoon–all Beethoven. Sitting next to me was a very heavily pregnant woman. When the last movement of Beethoven’s 7th was playing, she began to rub her stomach. Apparently her soon-to-be born baby was enjoying the music and letting her know!</p>
<p>I can only repeat: blessings to you and yours. You are frequently in my heart.</p>
<p>Well, 7 1/2 years ago my husband had minimal side effects from his chemo and went into remission for 2 years… during his new and improved chemo, he took up bicycling for the first time since high school, and completed a hundred-mile ride shortly after finishing chemo; he again had minimal side effects. He has been in remission for over five years now. </p>
<p>I don’t think side effects are any indicator at all of effectiveness. </p>
<p>Congratulations on your new offices!</p>
<p>LTS: I am so moved by your generosity (like ADad, your concern for your support people is beautiful) and your boldness – wow! Offices on Penn. Ave. Someday when this is behind you I really want to hear your whole story. Your brilliance, wisdom and energy is full view here.</p>
<p>Wow, again. Running up escalator in heals! You and Sarah Jessica Parker.</p>
<p>LTS
My thoughts are with you. I am coming up on my 1 year anniversary of my breast cancer dx. I am glad to hear that you are doing ok with chemo, I continued to work part time through my 2 rounds of chemo. I have a friend who was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer last year and he is still going strong. Statistics are just that, some one has to be the 1 out of 300, or whatever.
My theory on the stuff that happens to us is that we have no control over what we get, only how we deal with it. I choose to deal with it with a positive outlook. It sounds like you are on the same path. I wish you all the best.
Ellen</p>
<p>LTS, among things to be concerned about, the lack of side effects from chemo can be dropped from the list.</p>
<p>Per <a href=“http://www.medicinenet.com/chemotherapy/page5.htm[/url]”>http://www.medicinenet.com/chemotherapy/page5.htm</a></p>
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<p>If anything, the fact that you are not feeling bad from the chemo is a GOOD thing, as it means you are likely to be able to continue the course of treatment best recommended for you. Patients who can not handle their recommended chemo (and had to stop it or lower the dose received) are the ones I would be more concerned about in this respect. </p>
<p>You do have many things going for you; let your physical “robustness” count for one of them.</p>
<p>What a blessing that you are still feeling robust despite the chemo. See? Already you are beating the odds!</p>
<p>NYMomof2, I do think about oncologists, and what a very difficult and trying job they must have. Just thinking about it, they deal with death and terrified people every single day. And it’s hard to imagine those who deal with pediatric cancers and the like. Plus, they’re in high demand. And the FDA is frustratingly slow with drug approvals, health insurance companies make the decisions about patient care, and so sometimes they do not even have the tools or as the best possible tools to do their jobs. So, I do feel for them and understand their frustration. In business at least if we don’t like a particular business model or product or even a client we can ditch them and start anew. But oncologists cannot do that - they’re rather stuck. And they have to ride with the patients and families on that horrible roller coaster that is cancer - it’s not like they can say “sorry, it’s emotionally overwhelming, I don’t want to have you as a patient any more”. </p>
<p>But through this I have learned something about one group of statistics - those relating to trials. Apparently these numbers are always higher because the patients are more motivated (??), and, the numbers are always higher because the groups are smaller. </p>
<p>What I am very puzzled about is why people have to call all over the country and search around for trials. There are a couple of centralized databases but not well organized - hard to imagine that there isn’t one central clearinghouse where one could enter their information, and be alerted when matches happen. The way it is now, it seems like a cancer patient has to hunt down their own trials. I’m not getting why oncologists don’t track this stuff. Or - maybe they do, and the zillions of people posting in the cancer forums I’ve read the participants somehow don’t know this. </p>
<p>JEM, thanks for the chemo info. It’s pretty important to me that this works, because, the second line for my particular cancer works in only 20% of patients. I have not specifically asked yet but I believe there is no third line.</p>
<p>Marite, thank you for the lovely image of the beautiful fall day. I spent a lot of time outside this weekend and am looking forward to a cold winter for a change! It will be interesting and refreshingly different all at the same time. I try to stay positive all the time, and, some moments are harder than others. I do have a “telephone buddy” now - a five year survivor. We get along perfectly as he is a lot like me. In fact his diagnosis and ER presentation are identical to mine. He lives in Texas, owns a ranch, herds cattle, horses, that sort of thing. No, not a Bush. But might could be - former military. Anyway, he coaches me through some things. One of the things he said to me was “well, you have this thing, and, chances are it’s going to kill you. So WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?” - I like the way he shows me ways to take control of it. He also refuses to talk to anyone diagnosed with lung cancer who continues to smoke cigarettes. He used to smoke before his diagnosis and he cannot fathom continuing to smoke. </p>
<p>DMD77, may your husband stay in remission permanently. I am sorry that you and your husband went through this and I trust it is now a diminishing spec in the rear view mirror. </p>
<p>Ellen, thank you for taking the time to write. One year is a milestone (my daughter is praying for it) and I am glad that you are well. Yes, the stats are gruesome, but, they are a bit skewed, too, from what I can figure. For example, apparently if someone is out of touch for > 3 months, they’re counted as either dead, or unknown - depending on who does the calculation. Only survivors that can actually be verified are counted…but anyway, I am glad that you are well past this and I am right behind you, God willing. </p>
<p>ADad, thank you. I value my friends and associates highly, and am so pleased that they have enjoyed meeting and interacting with each other. It was a lot of fun watching them all get to know each other. I enjoyed it a LOT.</p>
<p>I have rarely been exposed to anyone who was able so readily to take on and empathize with the perspective of others. Here you have shown such compassion for your work associates, your friends, other posters here on CC, your family, and now the medical professionals with whom you are dealing. You just amaze me.</p>
<p>You are one amazing lady!</p>
<p>Churchmusicmom, that’s very nice of you to post, but, I wonder if this falls into the area of “too much of anything can be bad” - meaning, I have done a little bit of research on the psychological side of cancer - not a lot, it’s hard to find credible information without falling down the same dark well of being forced to read the horror of this, but anyway, I have read a few things about the “cancer personality”, and, it seems like suppressing one’s own needs, feelings, etc. in favor of everyone else’s, over a long period of time, is thought to suppress the immune system, which in turn allows the cancer to get a foothold. According to the few articles I have read, once the person with the “cancer personality” gets mad, or begins to express their anger, or put themselves first or at least stops putting themselves last, health improves, and in some documented cases the cancer goes into remission. </p>
<p>I’m not saying that’s “me”, I don’t know enough yet, and I don’t know if I will ever be able to figure it out given the difficulty in finding information from credible sources, but, I think there is a connection of some sort…</p>
<p>I do think a lot about the oncologists though. Can you imagine specializing in pediatric oncology? OMG…</p>
<p>My brother had cancer when I was three and he was eighteen months old. He is now past fifty and holds a very responsible position. He was my precious baby in my mind, and I will always be grateful to his oncologist for saving his life. Those weeks he spent away (we shared a room) were the longest weeks of my life.</p>
<p>I think people are called to different destinies.</p>
<p>I know what you mean by too much empathy. Just put yourself on the list, even at the top of the list, and don’t forget to empathize with yourself.</p>
<p>Your accomplishments say you can limit your vulnerability when you must.</p>
<p>A dear dear friend of mine developed breast cancer and worried about the cancer personality. Her first cousin, an oncologist, asked to throw out any kinds of thinking that “blamed the victim” in any way. She has done very well.</p>
<p>LateToSchool, Now you can harvest all the love and understanding you have shared with others because everyone is here for you, helping to stop your bull.</p>
<p>I think along with your empathy and sensitivity a really keen intelligence is at work, and we all salute you.</p>
<p>LTS:</p>
<p>I have not read much on cancer personality, but I suspect that the people who put others first often neglect themselves. They do not pay enough attention to what their bodies tell them or to their own emotional health. They are stoic and try to ride out pain instead of dealing with it when it is still manageable. You do need to make yourself your top priority.</p>
<p>LTS, I think your amazing ablility to empathize with others will NOT preclude you from doing what you must to fight this thing!! You are facing this head-on and, from the battles with the medical establishment that you have already shared with us, you are NOT gonna roll over meekly. </p>
<p>On the other hand, what you shared about “cancer personality” is something I have never heard about, but it makes sense to me. I have obviously never met you in person, but I do not sense that you will fall victim to the temptation to put the needs of others beyond your own in this battle. You just seem to me to have a great capacity to view situations through the emotional and psychological perspective of another. I think that will help you in this struggle! And I know it will help all those around you in that we can (hopefully) all learn to be more like you…</p>
<p>Here are prayers for a productive, positive, beautiful day…</p>