<p>I did not know that lung cancer killed more women than breast cancer. In my own little world, I knew of 4 breast cancer cases; two very close friends, an aunt and a close acquaintance. Only the close acquaintance is still alive;the 2 friends were in their 40’s. Whether figures support this or not, the perception is that breast cancer is almost an epidemic. I (personally) know of no-one with lung cancer…if that is true in the general population it is another reason for the disease’s unbelievably low profile.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>[Cancer</a> - Lung Cancer Statistics](<a href=“http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/lung/statistics/]Cancer”>Lung Cancer Statistics | CDC)</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>[Cancer</a> - Breast Cancer Statistics](<a href=“http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/breast/statistics/]Cancer”>Breast Cancer Statistics | CDC)</p>
<p>Having posted such grim statistics about lung cancer (statistics with which LTS is only too familiar), I think it’s probably only appropriate to observe, as others have previously, how little predictive utility such statistics have with respect to any individual case (such as LTS’s) going forward.</p>
<p>Perhaps no discipline is more preoccupied with statistics than economics. And yet it’s often said, only half facetiously, that economists do a much better job of predicting the past than the future.</p>
<p>With any individual who has lung cancer, statistics likewise seem a lot more reliable retrospectively than prospectively. If after X amount of time someone is still walking around, still talking, still breathing, well, it’s 100% certain that she’s still alive (and if not, it’s 0%; there really isn’t any statistically meaningful “in between” - no one is, for instance, 5% alive).</p>
<p>Natmicstef, one of the issues is that many of us with lung cancer don’t tell anyone. Not under any cicumstances. One of the very first things I did in the hospital, hours after diagnosis, was organize the business people and we made decisions on who would be told (and what were the legal and ethical implications etc.). Bottom line, you can count on one hand the number of people in my world who know I have lung cancer. </p>
<p>The reasons are simple - tell people you have breast cancer; the sympathy and support flows freely. Comparatively, tell people you have lung cancer, and (with the possible exception of the CC crowd, who are a bit more erudite as a population), and it’s embarrassing. In a business situation it could seriously harm revenue and business development. </p>
<p>So no one knows. I spend a LOT of money on the very best cosmetics that can be had, as well as very expensive suits. human hair wigs, etc. Chemotherapy does bizarre things to my appearance so I counter it very strategically. Perhaps someday it will become appropriate or necessary to open the information to a broader audience but today is not that day.</p>
<p>^^^yet another burden. I understand the choices you have made, but very much regret the need to do so.</p>
<p>Corranged, thank you for your post, I am hopeful that your aunt’s cancer has some curative developments in the coming years. I am very glad that the prognosis isn’t as dismal as it initially appears.</p>
<p>As to sleep, I slept nearly all day today and accomplished nothing.</p>
<p>Ephistrophy, thank you for posting those statistics…</p>
<p>LTS:</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>I beg to differ. You are healing and restoring while you sleep. If that is not an accomplishment at this point in your life, what is?</p>
<p>
It’s Sunday, LTS. “Day of Rest”, remember?</p>
<p>So glad you are resting and recovering from that miserable couple of days. Also you are opening my eyes. My sister has breast cancer and you are correct that her disease is treated as a community experience shared by all. I had no idea that lung cancer gets an entirely different public response of distancing rather than community ownership, although as an ex smoker myself I comprehend the stigma of associated blame being heaped on those who willfully put themselves at risk. Makes me me think about what I can do to make a difference.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>[Susan</a> Sontag](<a href=“http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/sontag.htm]Susan”>http://www.kirjasto.sci.fi/sontag.htm)</p>
<p>epistrophy…how do you come up with this stuff? I’m constantly amazed with the links and quotes you post here. What an inspiration.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>In the department of rank speculation (a dept. I used to trot out with some frequency back on the old Duke “rape” thread), not to mention unsolicited advice (a two-fer!):</p>
<p>–I wouldn’t be at all suprised if more people know than you think - at least something.</p>
<p>–I also wouldn’t be at all surprised if the consequences of (at least some) others knowing something might be less disastrous than you think.</p>
<p>–You may be making your life even more difficult for yourself than it already is by feeling as though you have to pretend that everything is just, oh, peachy-keen.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Hmmmm . . . sometimes it’s very straightforward (just a matter of doing a Google news search for, say, “cancer survivor” and seeing what comes up). Other times the process is more oblique - and so more difficult to describe (as it varies). </p>
<p>Sometimes it’s just a matter of drawing on something I once read - like the Sontag book, for instance.</p>
<p>As a general proposition I’d put it this way: It’s often less a matter of looking for something that you know is out there than it is a matter of imagining something that you think might be out there (or should be out there), then figuring out how to find out if it (or something like it) actually is out there - if that makes any sense.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>[Cancer</a> Declassified 12/13/07](<a href=“The News Herald – Southgate, MI News, Sports, Weather & Things to Do”>The News Herald – Southgate, MI News, Sports, Weather & Things to Do)</p>
<p>anxiousmom and corranged - I’m so happy to hear that your relatives’ situations are so much better than originally thought! </p>
<p>LTS, what wonderful news! And I wouldn’t worry too much about the disc findings. It’s well known that almost anyone over 40 will have “pathology” on a spinal MRI, and most of the time there are no symptoms. A wonderful book on back problems is The Multifidus Back Pain Solution" by Johnson.</p>
<p>My mom and I had a discussion about “telling” a couple years ago. She was miffed that a high school acquaintance had died of breast cancer without ever telling anyone she was sick. I surprised my mom by telling her that I probably wouldn’t tell anyone either.</p>
<p>I pointed out that, once people knew I was sick, I would be treated differently. Even by those who thought they wouldn’t. People would perhaps tip-toe, or be uncomfortable, or treat me with pity. I would hate all of those things.</p>
<p>My mom admitted that she hadn’t thought of it like that. (It probably bothered her more than she let on, because I had cancer back in 1980, and perhaps she was worried that now I wasn’t telling her something!) </p>
<p>Since I am NOT currently sick, I really have no idea how I would react. I am well aware that what I <em>think</em> I would do may have no bearing on reality. But I do think that I would keep it secret for as long as I could - probably even from my H and kids. I know that I am not the kind of fighter LTS is. I don’t <em>think</em> I am afraid of dying, or especially eager to avoid it - not that I’m suicidal either! (A moot point, since I’m not facing it imminently - that I know of.) But I am a caregiver by nature - and I’m afraid that it would be up to me to take care of all those who are feeling bad about MY sickness, leaving me with less energy to take care of myself. I just don’t think I would want to go there. I don’t want to have to filter everybody else’s opinions - about treatment, illness, plans - against my own. (Funny - it is something else LTS does so well - I would be overwhelmed.)</p>
<p>As many have said, I appreciate LTS sharing her travels with us, because it makes me really think, and I’m learning a lot.</p>
<p>And I am also happy to hear some positive news from her!</p>
<p>Binx, all of the long term survivors of small cell I’ve spoken to have lost nearly 100% of their pre-diagnosis friends. There are numerous reasons for this of course but the overwhelming issue is that people hear “lung cancer” and they just run very fast the other direction. The good news is that new friendships appear to be formed, and, for the most part, the survivors all have very good quality of life in terms of the social aspects. </p>
<p>The holidays in particular were so deeply disappointing to me - the lifelong friends who didn’t call because - as they would later explain - they didn’t know what to say.</p>
<p>Epistrophy, I’m not foolish enough to think I can keep this a secret forever, however, I’m a bit luckier than most in that I can do anything I want, go anywhere I want. I am not handcuffed to one location or group of people etc. So I can - and actually have - gone months without physically seeing a number of my colleagues, etc. From a business perspective I can actually function like this for years. With modern technology, it is possible to be nearly fully functional from just about anywhere - even from a hospital bed, though please God I hope that’s never necessary again…</p>
<p>LTS the people not knowing what to say is very true. </p>
<p>Awkwardness really paralyzes people. I had this experience when my brother died (when I was in college) and nobody knew what to say to me and I felt very, very alone. They all wanted to help or give comfort but were so afraid of blowing it they just receded… it took a long time to repair those relationships.</p>
<p>Sometimes it helps to tell people what to say, or not say, or whatever… coach them… it sounds so weird, but they are usually grateful to know what you want/need. Like when I said “you can mention my brother, it won’t ‘remind’ me, he’s already on my mind all the time,” they relaxed because I put it on the table.</p>
<p>Having been through that experience I find it is much easier for me to deal with other peoples’ losses and tragedies because I know from experience that saying/doing nothing is always the worst choice.</p>
<p>“The reasons are simple - tell people you have breast cancer; the sympathy and support flows freely”</p>
<p>The “who to tell” issue is important but I think it’s important to note that 40 years ago women with breast cancer did not easily tell. My mother kept hers a secret and when she did tell people they were afraid they could catch it. I think her generation of women carried a lot of shame with breast cancer. I’m not sure exactly when and how it all changed but some women at some point decided to be open and out there with their cancer. There were women willing to be photographed and willing to say what had previously been unmentionable. Society became educated and now women feel very free to openly say they have breast cancer. It’s been in the decades where women became more open that funding, fundraising and support for breast cancer became what it is now – because women felt empowered to demand it. They broke the stigma of shame and secrecy. Obviously there is a big difference between telling friends and telling business associates and there are many practical reasons not to tell business associates and I am not advising or judging in any way. But it is the squeaky wheel that gets the oil, so to speak. HIV/AIDS got noticed because people insisted that it be noticed and came out with their stories. There should not be any shame for lung cancer patients. In my opinion, there shouldn’t be shame for those patients who smoked either – smoking is highly addictive and many current lung cancer patients grew up and became addicted in an era when it was glamorous to smoke and less information was known. Heart disease gets all kinds of funding even though many patients with heart disease are overweight, smoke, don’t exercise, etc. Why should it be any different with lung cancer? I had hoped that Dana Reeves had put a face on this and that people had gained awareness. I am sorry that this is not the case yet. People so need to be educated. And, LTS, by posting here, you have done a great deal in that area. You are a voice and you are being heard. Every voice counts.</p>