First I should say that some good things are happening in my life. I have gotten into a few great colleges and I am improving as a jazz musician.
However, there’s a lot of negative happening too. I have never gotten a grade below an A in my entire life and second semester senior year my grades have tanked: 2 As, 1 B, and 1 C. Part of the problem is that I have been traveling constantly and missing lots of class due to music auditions. Also, I got wrongfully accused sexual harassment (and was found innocent eventually) but the process took a toll on me.
However, I am still working as hard as I can yet I’m still not doing well in my classes. I am constantly flunking tests and quizzes. I am struggling to grasp basic concepts that should be easy.
I have felt really depressed lately and find myself drifting to sleep at 8pm and struggling to get up by 6:30am. I also have been falling asleep during the day and struggle to stay awake during class. I have had several panic attacks and have never experienced anything like that before. I don’t want to hang out with my friends anymore either and would rather be alone.
My parents are frustrated with my grades and are blaming it on me being lazy and smoking pot (which I don’t currently do) and I feel lost and stressed that my grades will drop into rescindable territory.
I really don’t know what to do and thought maybe some people here can give me some tips to surviving senior year. Thanks.
One foot in front of the other, one step at a time. Auditioning for colleges is time-consuming and exhausting and most don’t understand it. Have you finished all of them? Could you drop some? You definitely should be evaluated for depression and please make sure you are keeping your teachers aware of your pressures. When my D auditioned for colleges, she found the teachers to be pretty flexible (except for the gym teacher, but that’s another story!). I concur with several things that bopper mentioned but I would caution you about speaking to a school GC or psychologist regarding the accusation other than simply expressing that the accusation and process took a lot out of you. Anything else about that should probably be expressed to only an outsider. It is good, however, to keep your GC updated as to your schoolwork efforts b/c some colleges call GCs.
@bopper@momzhood thanks so much for your responses. It really helps. The school already knows about the accusation, was on my side from the start, and actually helped to show that I was innocent. So I think I can talk to them about it. My teachers are being pretty flexible but there’s only so much they can do without being unfair to the other students. I will definitely talk to my guidance counselors about options and talk to my parents about possibly seeing a doctor.
Yes, please see a doctor. Meds and therapy have helped my D so much!! For her, the coping skills she has learned have made the biggest difference. She knows what to do when she starts feeling anxious or depressed. She’s a college sophomore now and doing really well.
You don’t have to feel alone - there is help out there, even if your parents can’t give it to you.